Mum has been in a care home now for 2 years. It's friendly, clean and the staff, in general, appear very good. By that I mean that they are friendly and they seem to care.
However I go in a cycle of being really annoyed with them for the state of my mum. She's lost most of her teeth, looks unkempt, is hardly washed.
I work full time and travel one and a half hours twice a week to see her. I also pay a private carer to go in twice a week to keep an eye on things and brush her teeth etc... I'm going part time in August so that I can also go more often. In effect I'm paying out more money and reducing my income so that I can do their job for them......or that's how it seems.
I go in cycles where I get annoyed, have a meeting with the Manager, they buck up for a bit and it all goes down hill again. The cycle is then repeated all over again.
I went on Thurs evening evening and mum had had an accident (faeces). The care staff looked horrified when I arrived as they weren't expecting me. I'm fine that she had the accident as that's dementia for you and as mum was distressed I took over and showered her. My concern was that mum was in the same pj's as last Saturday so she probably hasn't been changed in almost a week. When I took her clothes off there was dried faeces all down the back of her legs. I had to scrub it hard to get it off - again this leads to the possibility that it could have been there for a week. When I informed the staff member that she hadn't been changed in a week and asked why, she just said sorry and looked embarrassed. It's not good enough.
In addition she has lost a lot of teeth - no matter how often I ask them to brush her teeth twice a day, I'm not convinced it's happening.
A couple of months ago I took her socks off to soak her feet as she seemed really unsteady and her feet and ankles had swelled so much it was frightening. She couldn't walk on them, they were bleeding. I took her out to A&E to get her sorted out before they became infected.
These are just a few issues. I know that mum is difficult to wash and dress - she feels people are taking things off her. I asked the carers why they weren't washing and changing her and they said she doesn't like it and gets upset! The social workers advised mum went into a home (she was sectioned first) and one of the things they said was that these 'specially trained' people would know how to wash and change her etc... (the implication being that I wasn't up to the job). Ironically it's me who does it all the time.
So, my question is: what do I do now? I've complained and had numerous meetings with the Manager, I'm at the end of my tether. I'm looking at moving mum to be nearer to me so I can see her every evening rather than twice a week. However I need to escalate my concerns. Can someone advise ?
Also, if anyone knows of any good homes in the Altrincham area, could you let me know
Thanks
JemJ
However I go in a cycle of being really annoyed with them for the state of my mum. She's lost most of her teeth, looks unkempt, is hardly washed.
I work full time and travel one and a half hours twice a week to see her. I also pay a private carer to go in twice a week to keep an eye on things and brush her teeth etc... I'm going part time in August so that I can also go more often. In effect I'm paying out more money and reducing my income so that I can do their job for them......or that's how it seems.
I go in cycles where I get annoyed, have a meeting with the Manager, they buck up for a bit and it all goes down hill again. The cycle is then repeated all over again.
I went on Thurs evening evening and mum had had an accident (faeces). The care staff looked horrified when I arrived as they weren't expecting me. I'm fine that she had the accident as that's dementia for you and as mum was distressed I took over and showered her. My concern was that mum was in the same pj's as last Saturday so she probably hasn't been changed in almost a week. When I took her clothes off there was dried faeces all down the back of her legs. I had to scrub it hard to get it off - again this leads to the possibility that it could have been there for a week. When I informed the staff member that she hadn't been changed in a week and asked why, she just said sorry and looked embarrassed. It's not good enough.
In addition she has lost a lot of teeth - no matter how often I ask them to brush her teeth twice a day, I'm not convinced it's happening.
A couple of months ago I took her socks off to soak her feet as she seemed really unsteady and her feet and ankles had swelled so much it was frightening. She couldn't walk on them, they were bleeding. I took her out to A&E to get her sorted out before they became infected.
These are just a few issues. I know that mum is difficult to wash and dress - she feels people are taking things off her. I asked the carers why they weren't washing and changing her and they said she doesn't like it and gets upset! The social workers advised mum went into a home (she was sectioned first) and one of the things they said was that these 'specially trained' people would know how to wash and change her etc... (the implication being that I wasn't up to the job). Ironically it's me who does it all the time.
So, my question is: what do I do now? I've complained and had numerous meetings with the Manager, I'm at the end of my tether. I'm looking at moving mum to be nearer to me so I can see her every evening rather than twice a week. However I need to escalate my concerns. Can someone advise ?
Also, if anyone knows of any good homes in the Altrincham area, could you let me know
Thanks
JemJ