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Care home at last

Brother47

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
109
0
Hello again. For a change I’d like to share some good news. As you may know from my recent posts on here, my brother with FTD (73 and living alone with care visits) was struggling to cope at home and had a few falls etc. So finally Social Services agreed that he was no longer safe at home and helped me find a placement in a suitable care home to suit his needs. He is there for a 6 week trial which can become permanent if it goes well. Because I live so far away Social Services and the carer were going to transport him ther and both were expecting him to refuse to go. However two days before he was due to be admitted, the morning carer found him on the bathroom floor, again but this time he was in pain so an ambulance was called and he was taken to hospital protesting loudly as he was stretchered out of his home.. He had Xrays and blood tests at hospital but thankfully no broken bones were found. He was lucky to get away with just a sore swollen knee from the fall.. The good thing was the hospital decided he shouldn’t be sent home and agreed to keep him in for an extra night and discharge him straight into the care home. He arrived there very confused and kept asking where he was. That was two days ago and it appears he has settled down and hasn’t mentioned wanting to go home. The care manager called me today to let me know he was comfortable and although he doesn’t like being showered, she said he seems quiet and calm but is preferring to stay in his room and look out the window.. In the last couple of months he seemed to prefer not to talk much. He found it hard to find the words to say what he wanted was less in what was going on around him and staring into space a lot of the time. I’m just so relieved that he’s now safe and cared for 24/7. Thank you all for your support and advice. You were correct in saying he was ready for a care home. It’s still early days but it’s a much better start than I was expecting.
 

Nannyslittlechip

Registered User
Apr 1, 2020
76
0
52
Liverpool
So glad that he’s found a good place. I’m waiting to put my mum in a home and it’s so daunting waiting for that day but I know it’s for the best. He’ll be fine and you know you’ve done the right thing. Much love to you ❤️❤️
 

Brother47

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
109
0
So glad that he’s found a good place. I’m waiting to put my mum in a home and it’s so daunting waiting for that day but I know it’s for the best. He’ll be fine and you know you’ve done the right thing. Much love to you ❤️❤️
Ahhh, thank you so much Nannyslittlechip. It is a daunting deciding what to do when it’s a loved ones life and you spend every day on edge waiting until the day comes. Then worrying whether you e made it worse for them when it’s happened yet you know it’s for the best. I wish you well and hope you get your Mum sorted very soon. Hugs n 💕to you too.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,922
0
Phew @Brother47 that took a long time coming, but so glad your brother is now safe in a care home. It sounds like he has settled in well already.
Are you going to be able to get over to see him now restrictions are easing?
 

Frank24

Registered User
Feb 13, 2018
107
0
You'll feel a sense of relief knowing he is safe and cared for. A good outcome.
 

Brother47

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
109
0
Phew @Brother47 that took a long time coming, but so glad your brother is now safe in a care home. It sounds like he has settled in well already.
Are you going to be able to get over to see him now restrictions are easing?
Hi Sarasa, Yes, it was a long time coming! Probably felt longer than it actually was but that's what worrying does for you. Yes, I will be able to visit him after 12th April. He has to have a 14 day isolation there anyway so I can't visit til after so I'm booked in on 13th. They have a glass dome in the garden for visitors with a screen in the middle so you can visit safely but of course no touching. If the weather is really cold or they feel they don't want to bring my brother outside to the dome, they have a 'pod' similar to that, set up inside the building. Looking forward to seeing him.
 

Brother47

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
109
0
You'll feel a sense of relief knowing he is safe and cared for. A good outcome.
Thanks Frank24, yes, it was a good outcome. Just took some time and a lot of perseverance. I certainly feel a massive sense of relief. I had the best nights sleep in ages on the day he arrived there. Thank you!
 

Brother47

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
109
0
Excellent news @Brother47 . I hope your brother settles in well.
Thank you... so far so good Bunpoots. The nurse at the care home looking after him today said that he seems content to sit in his room and look out the window. but sometimes shouts out. He used to do that at home. She said it's all early days and they are gradually getting to know him and understand what works for him. The reality is that if he doesn't settle there, he can't go back to living alone with care visits. Social Services are going to visit him once his isolation period is over and check how he's doing. His social worker knows him well so will be able to cast a judgement on how he's doing.
 

Brother47

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
109
0
Sounds good so far. Keep us posted @Brother47
Hi Bunpoot, I visited my brother for the first time last Tuesday which the first available day after his 2 week isolation. Have to say he looked ok. He's never very perky anyway. But he was sat in his room, which is three floors up and has views across Bristol towards Bath. He seemed content though his usual vague self. He looks bored but he's been that way for the last year or so. It's the first time I've seen him since December and I did notice how hard he finds it to talk now and how he doesn't seem to understand what's being said to him unless very simply language is usedThe ladies looking after him said he seems content and likes to stay in bed but they do their best to persuade him to get up. they said that he is eating better now than when he arrived when he would only take a few mouthfuls of food but now he eats a small meal at lunchtime but seems to enjoy mid morning coffee with biscuits and afternoon tea. They said he likes to stay in his own room rather than the communal one. He looks a lot cleaner than when he was home as he refused to let the daily carer wash him. The ladies said he shouts a bit when showered but doesn't resist. He has a large flat screen tv on the wall in the room and was watching that when I arrived. He couldn't remember my name but he knew who I was. He looked nicely dressed, clean and tidy which was good to see. It's difficult to gauge whether he's happy. His answer to most questions is 'whatever' which is as good as 'yes'. He didn't ask about his house or going home. I have to say I feel greatly relieved that he's in care now. He's got another 3 weeks before his trial stay ends but in all honesty I can't see him ever going back to living at home no matter how much care is put in place. So, all in all, I think so far it's going well!
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,922
0
Sounds like things are going pretty well @Brother47. It sounds like your brother has settled well, and of he is clean and eating better that seems like pluses.
If he is happy, or as happy as he can be in his own room that is probably fine. Not everyone wants to be sociable.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
5,400
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi @Brother47 . It sounds as though are as good as they could be. My dad preferred to stay in his room most of the time too. I think the interaction in the lounge was too much for him most of the time, although he did join in now and again.
 

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