1. elbs

    elbs Registered User

    Jan 18, 2016
    Hi thanks for letting me join your site,
    My mother suffers from alzheimers and is currently a resident in a care home, I was called in by the manager of the care home when I was told 5 members of staff had created a whattsapp group and had been videoing my mam making her sing and making fun of her obviously against her wishes, I was shocked and saddened to be told this, I have been summoned to a meeting with adult social care tomorrow (tue 19-1-16) I have wrote down various questions I want to ask but any help or advice of people on this site would be much appreciated,
    thanks in advance
  2. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    Welcome to TP elbs and so sorry and shocked to read about what has happened to your poor Mum. Hope you get your questions answered tomorrow, am sure others will give you advice. I would question the attitude and supervision of the managers that 5 staff members can consider this type of behaviour alright:confused::eek:
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    Hello elbs and welcome to TP.

    How absolutely awful. My first thought is have the police been informed? Surely this is criminal abuse and needs to be treated as such.

    I have no experience to help but I'm sure others will bring their experience to you.
  4. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    Hi Elbs, I'm so sorry your mum was subjected to this abuse , I am so shocked . First of all you need to contact the police who will advise you what to do next . This is abuse . Please do not be coerced into thinking it's not by anyone from any other organisation . She is a vulnerable adult and every person who is employed by a hospital or care home has a duty to adult protection . I hope those staff involved are suspended following investigation . Please let us know how you get on tomorrow and ask for any advice . I will help you as best I can . Lou
  5. Pete R

    Pete R Registered User

    Jul 26, 2014
    #5 Pete R, Jan 18, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2016
    Hi elbs and welcome,

    How shocking this must be for you.:eek:

    My advice would be to phone your Local Police, right now, and hopefully an Officer would be able to go to the meeting with you and ask the correct questions. There are some in that care home that need to see the inside of a cell.

    Please call them now.

    Good Luck.
  6. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    Sorry Elbs that should have read staff should be suspended pending investigation not following investigation . Lou
  7. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi elbs, welcome to TP
    I'd just ask when the staff are going to be sacked and have the police been told or should you do it and has any professional body they belong to been informed.
    That simple, I'd settle for nothing less.
    People like them have no place in the care industry they need kicking out and the door locking behind them so they don't just turn up in another home. I'd also tell social services and the Care Quality Commission what's happened.
  8. elbs

    elbs Registered User

    Jan 18, 2016
    thanks for your replies, the care home informed the police and 2 out of the 5 has been suspended, the quality care commission have also been informed, ill see what the outcome is tomorrow and let you know
    thanks again
  9. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    Elbs, welcome to Talking Point.

    I am shocked beyond words to hear your story. I agree, contact the police and file a police report without hesitation. I'd also ask about having an officer attend the meeting.

    I also wonder if you might want to consult a solicitor/attorney/lawyer/whatever the correct UK term in this situation is, perhaps to attend the meeting with you. I might be hesitant to attend the meeting, without knowing the particulars of the law and regulations in this case. (Better to delay a day and go there with the right information.)

    If you do attend the meeting tomorrow without a legal and/or police presence, I would be very careful about what you agree to verbally, or in writing, especially if they ask you to not pursue the matter further, not file charges, not contact the media, et cetera. You should leave your options open and they should not pressure you on this.

    I'd also ask the legal person (lawyer/solicitor/whomever), and the police, about how you get this taken off the Whatever website permanently, and get their assurance in writing that all copies/backups have been destroyed.

    Ditto for getting secured copies of the videos off the mobile devices/phones/computers of the employees who made them (it's possible the phones should be impounded RIGHT NOW by the police, as evidence), and eventually making sure all copies on their devices, are deleted.

    I am not sure of the name of the overseeing agency for care homes in the UK, but they should also be informed.

    It couldn't hurt to contact Age UK and/or the Alzheimer's Society, and see if they can offer you any advice or advocacy.

    Also perhaps your MP?

    I'm sorry, that's all the ideas I have. I also apologise for any information that's not accurate or relevant, due to not being in the UK. Frankly, if I were in this situation, I'd call my lawyer and the police right now.
  10. Pete R

    Pete R Registered User

    Jul 26, 2014
    I wouldn't worry about questions to ask tomorrow, just let the authorities do their job. I do hope your Mother doesn't remember anything and is not affected by this however be very certain to take care of yourself as well and seek help if you need it.

    I wish you both all the best.
  11. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    I agree with Kevin
    Have the staff been sacked?
    Yes you want to prosecute?
    Yes you want their names to go on record as committing a criminal offence?

    Report it to the Police as soon as you can and for your own well being ask for an advocate - someone who will 'hold your hand' through the whole process and support you and your mother. The Police should be able to help you with this . You are entitled to one and you will find that you need some support through this process.

    Please remember you cannot be 'summoned' you can only be invited and you can refuse to go and ask for any meeting to be rescheduled to suit yourself. Please do not let anyone boss you around.

    Please do not be forced into a situation where you feel sorry for them. For the sake of everyone else who is sick and vulnerable please do not allow this to pass

    There is an organisation called Compassion in Care and it is run by a wonderful lady called Eileen Chubb who will support you too and she is very experienced with abuse in care homes. This is the email - just send a quick email with the info you put on here in your first post - you don't need to send her a formal letter but mark in URGENT in the header and she will get in touch with you, if you get stuck I have her phone number so come back to me Info@compassionincare.com

    You really need someone with you at the meeting who will keep track of the what is said at the meeting. This is short notice but just take someone you trust - perhaps you are in contact with a local carers organisation. I would suggest that you don't agree to anything at the initial meeting until you have taken further advice.

    Do you like the care home? Do you think that generally she is well looked after and happy or has she been unhappy? If you want her to be moved you are in a perfect situation to ask for this but think carefully. If you have lost trust in the home and the staff then you might want to move her. 5 members of staff is a very large proportion of staff members i would guess - and difficult to replace quickly.

    Take care, your head must be spinning. Thinking of you
  12. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    I am incensed to read about the abuse of your Mother.
    I can't even imagine how you feel as I feel murderous and outraged on her behalf.

    Yes, as others have said you must contact the Police but you must also ensure the Safeguarding team of your local authority is involved.

    This a multi disciplinary team that should include the police, Social Services should have made this a safeguarding issue but just in case they haven't,
    ring your local Adult Care Social Service number(put your postcode and adult social care into Google) and inform them you want to speak to the Safeguarding team, if they don't know about the meeting...well, you can then inform them of all the facts.

    I would want the workers suspended while the investigation took place and the Police involved as a minimum.

    Strength to you, to help you through this DARKEST of times. X

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  13. elbs

    elbs Registered User

    Jan 18, 2016
    the meeting tomorrow is with adult social care, I don't know who else will be in attendance but I do know the police and quality care commission have been informed so hopefully they'll be their too.
    To answer some earlier questions Mam is no wiser whats happened and still her pleasant self, I have emailed compassioncare.com, and generally the care home has been excellent with her
    , when the manager first told me what had happened she was in tears herself, Rest assured though I wont let them fob me off and I wont be agreeing to anything tomorrow, ill listen to what they have to say and take it from there.
    thankyou all for your kind words
  14. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    Good luck Elbs . Best wishes to you and your mum . Lou
  15. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    That's good news Elbs that Mum is her happy self x That is the most important thing. The second most important thing is to get the so and so's branded and prosecuted so that they can never do the same thing to someone else with a less vigilant care manager x
  16. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    This is appalling! I do hope the meeting goes well.
  17. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    Hi Elbs . How did you get on today at the meeting ? Lou
  18. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    Gosh Elbs, you poor thing. Do let us know how things progress. People in nursing homes, those suffering with dementia or some other illness that means they need full time care, must be the most vulnurable in our society. Those who cannot speak or stand up for themselves, and especially the elderly who have already contributed so much to our lives, deserve nothing but the best care. It's up to those of us who are fortunate enough to have our health and strength to be watchful, careful and to stand up for them when necessary.
  19. Grace L

    Grace L Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    NW UK
    I've also been wondering how you are doing. I'm shocked , and still lost for words ....

    Take care of yourself xxx
  20. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    This is so sad, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I hope these monsters get all they deserve and love to you and your dear Mum xx


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