Care at home


Registered User
May 2, 2008
Hi. I'm new to the forum.:) Nice to meet you all.

I joined as I (and my family) am/are increasingly in need of advice and it looks like a fantastic space for people to share their situations and suggestions. I hope i will be able to contribute from my own experiences to help other people too.

My mother has Alzheimer's and currently still lives at home on her home. My sister lives about 15 minutes away and does almost all the caring. She works full-time. My mother lives in Lancashire, but I live and work in London, so it is very difficult to get back as often I would like.

My mother currently attends a day care centre two days per week (one of which is free and the other she has to pay for.) Social services have been incredibly inefficent so the last community care assessment the social worker didn't think that my mother needed any additional support, which is far far from the case. The worker hasn't even written up the notes from the assessment.

My mother needs much more day round support than my sister is able to provide, but we would like to keep her in her own home as long as is feasible.although we are starting to think about care homes aswell.

As social service won't offer any additional support, we are looking at getting a private care company in for the days that my mother doesn't attend the day centre. My mother is also suffering from depression (and the doctors want to put her on anti-depressents, but I'm worried about the longer term implications of her being on medication). I think that activities, having other people around to talk to, going out on trips,etc will do more good that the medication. But that seems very difficult to arrange and co-ordinate aswell.

I'd really welcome any tops tips from people who have been in a similar situation,and/or currently have additional home care support and the keys things we should ask the company when choosing one.

Any help would be very much appreciated.


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya William,
Just wanted to welcome you to TP.
I know that a lot of members use Home care, and I am sure that they will soon be able to offer you some tips.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello William

I don`t understand why Social services are not prepared to offer more care even if it has to be paid for.

My ex neighbour had Social Services carers in every morning and evening, to make sure he had breakfast and an evening meal, and to supervise him taking his medication.

Do you feel your mother is at risk? If so it would add weight to your mother`s needs.

I hope this is of some help.


Registered User
Jan 8, 2008
Hello William,
My father has a regular visit from a local (Dorset) care charity called Prama care. We found them through word of mouth recommendation from neighbours, friends etc. and they are on the local social services list of approved care providers. They visit at a regular time and cook his lunch (microwave meal from Wiltshire Farm Foods), prompt him to take his medicine and then do the washing up and make him a cup of coffee.
Ideally (IMHO) you want to have the same carer turning up at the same time each day, though of course you can't get that 100%. My father has a rota of the carers sent to him each week so he knows who's coming when.
We didn't have many questions for them because most things were covered by their explanations during the assessment they did prior to starting.


Registered User
May 2, 2008
thank you

thank you to Johne, granny g, and amy for your welcome, comments and suggestions - I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I'll definitely follow up on seeing if there is a local charity that offers a similar service to the one JOhn described in Dorset.

In terms of Granny G's comments, I'm not clear why they won't help any further. I'm trying to get hold of the original social workers report of the community care assessment, but it's taking ages.

I'll keep you posted on how things develop.

Would still welcome any other suggestions people might have on home care.

thanks it means a huge amount



Registered User
May 2, 2008

Dear Charlyparly..many thanks for the link. I will check it out.

take care


Registered User
Mar 25, 2008

My mother used to go to Crossroads too and found it good. My only other advice would be to start looking at homes. Your mother may not need one for some time yet but the good ones have waiting lists and by the time there is a space your mum may be ready. We put it off on the basis that care at home was sufficent. When circumstances changed the only bed available was not in our preferred home so that is causing us as carers more stress. Don't feel you're jumping the gun, you're just being prepared.

Hope your mum stays at home as long as she can and good luck to your sister and you.



Registered User
May 2, 2008

Dear Quack, thanks for your message and your excellent suggestion re starting to look for homes. You're right, we need to start preparing now.

Thanks for your good wishes and I wish you all the best with caring for your mother too.



Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
the last community care assessment the social worker didn't think that my mother needed any additional support, which is far far from the case.
Really it not for the social worker to decide if additional support is needed or not , social worker need reports from OT & doctors , staff at day centre also from your sister who is main carer ( as you say she lives nearer ) to come up with that conclusion .

They do make you feel like its all down to them , as they done that to me .

I found with social services from when they do the first assessment, then when things progress with the disease & needs get higher the best way forward to get social services to get they finger out really listen to you , is to go to the doctor tell him/her how your mother needs are changing so asking for a referral to consultant & do another mental assessment on your mother.

My mother just hate them doing it on her ( mental assessment ) but they would do it very discretely , so not to upset her .

Assessment on they support needs are meant to be done yearly by law, but thinks do change within that year. So my mother AZ day centre said to do it that way, always go to doctor get referral when you feel things change within that year .

As SS was just doing what they are doing with your mother with my mother . just setting it up when her needs where low, but as things progressed they would not listen to me.

I got my mother mental assessment done at the day centre, so the staff also had an input in my mother report which was sent to SW.

When was the last community care assessment done on your mother ?
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