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Can't settle

Jonesygirl

Registered User
Nov 12, 2015
5
Hi everyone,

I am new to the forum. I look after my father who has Alzheimers. He has carers in twice a day to shower him and put him to bed. Also goes to day centre three times a week. He's home on a Wednesday and seems to be ok , but then by Thursday he seems to be bored and starts looking for me from about lunchtime onwards. we have a telecare alarm fitted therefore I know everytime he leaves the house. He has left the house between 12 noon today and 15.30 , twelve times!!! I work about a mile and a half from where he lives, and I live two doors away. What usually happens is that he goes over to my house to see if i'm there after ringing and knocking for a good while, then checks through all the windows that i'm not home, then gives up and goes home. So I leave it a good few minutes then I ring to check that he has got home safely. But today I just can't concentrate on my work (this is about the fourth Thursday he's been like this) . My boss is understanding but I feel like i'm being unfair on him as i'm constantly trying to ring my father to check he's ok , or if I don't get an answer I jump in the car and go and check him physically. Does anyone have any ideas how I can eliminate this behaviour. I am unable to get another day centre day at the moment, and it is not an option to give up work. I leave notes for my father to say when I will be home (5 pm ) but even though he can tell the time he has no concept of the time. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
 

lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,319
East Kent
Hello. I am afraid it is just a welcome from me as I have no experience with the problem you are having. I just couldn't read an run.

Others here will be along soon who may well have some good ideas.

I hope you find TP as helpful and supportive as I have over the years.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham
Can you not arrange for him to go to the day centre Monday, Wednesday and Friday then he wouldn't have so much time in between to get bored,

Forgot to say welcome x
 
Last edited:

Jonesygirl

Registered User
Nov 12, 2015
5
Thank you

:)
come from me as I have no experience with the problem you are having. I just couldn't read an run.

Others here will be along soon who may well have some good ideas.

I hope you find TP as helpful and supportive as I have over the years.[/QUOTE]
 

Jonesygirl

Registered User
Nov 12, 2015
5
Thanks for your suggestion, as far as i am aware they are the only days available in our area . But will try and find out. Thanks for your time.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
The lunch club my ma went to increased the number of days - she loved it and then we found another group that she could go to as well. We did try people popping in but she needed to be with other people all day. maybe it would be worth exploring to see if they will increase the days or if there is something else in the area. Otherwise you will become increasingly stressed! Good luck, keep posting and welcome xx
 

Jonesygirl

Registered User
Nov 12, 2015
5
The lunch club my ma went to increased the number of days - she loved it and then we found another group that she could go to as well. We did try people popping in but she needed to be with other people all day. maybe it would be worth exploring to see if they will increase the days or if there is something else in the area. Otherwise you will become increasingly stressed! Good luck, keep posting and welcome xx
Thanks for your suggestion. When you say lunch club is this run through Alzheimers?
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
hi there
one was a council run day club specifically for people with dementia and the other is in our local community centre.

Do you belong to a carers organisation? They are really excellent and often have a meet up where lots of people will give you tons of local information - sometimes called a carers cafe. It is worth having a morning off work to go just to make contacts

Have you had a carers assessment (that would probably give you some hours when someone would come and sit with him or take him to do an activity)

Does he claim attendance allowance? It would give some extra cash to buy in some care. It isn't means tested and if you want some help filling in the form message me.

Does he live alone - if so he should get a council tax waiver for living alone with 'severe mental impairment' - that also releases some extra cash for care.

A carers organisation will help you with all of this and a lot more.

Just a few thoughts xxx sorry to bombard you
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,012
London
Could you look into sitting service through Age UK?
It's really horrible if you can't get day centre when you need it!
 

Jonesygirl

Registered User
Nov 12, 2015
5
hi there
one was a council run day club specifically for people with dementia and the other is in our local community centre.

Do you belong to a carers organisation? They are really excellent and often have a meet up where lots of people will give you tons of local information - sometimes called a carers cafe. It is worth having a morning off work to go just to make contacts

Have you had a carers assessment (that would probably give you some hours when someone would come and sit with him or take him to do an activity)

Does he claim attendance allowance? It would give some extra cash to buy in some care. It isn't means tested and if you want some help filling in the form message me.

Does he live alone - if so he should get a council tax waiver for living alone with 'severe mental impairment' - that also releases some extra cash for care.

A carers organisation will help you with all of this and a lot more.

Just a few thoughts xxx sorry to bombard you
Rally appreciate your time, thank you. Yes he does have AA and lives alone and gets the tax waiver etc. I don't belong to any carers organisation though , but will look into that. Thanks for your advice. xx