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Can't remember what he doesn't remember

Omaha

Registered User
May 22, 2015
7
My husband is 61. He easily has 7 of the 10 warning signs for Alzheimers. If he ends up with a diagnosis of Alzheimers he will be 3rd generation in his family. At his point, from what I read, it could take a couple more years for a diagnosis. The good news is he doesn't believe much is wrong because he can't remember the stuff he forgets. He isn't upset so I'm game to leave him alone. I do seem to keep trying to talk to him about "what ifs", what his preferences would be if he was the one who got it next. If the point is to hurry up and do things we have put off, he is resistant to that as he feels it would be admitting there is something wrong. Any hints on how to find out how he is feeling? Seems like people know for a LONG time that things aren't right before they ever get to a diagnosis.
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
My husband is 61. He easily has 7 of the 10 warning signs for Alzheimers. If he ends up with a diagnosis of Alzheimers he will be 3rd generation in his family. At his point, from what I read, it could take a couple more years for a diagnosis. The good news is he doesn't believe much is wrong because he can't remember the stuff he forgets. He isn't upset so I'm game to leave him alone. I do seem to keep trying to talk to him about "what ifs", what his preferences would be if he was the one who got it next. If the point is to hurry up and do things we have put off, he is resistant to that as he feels it would be admitting there is something wrong. Any hints on how to find out how he is feeling? Seems like people know for a LONG time that things aren't right before they ever get to a diagnosis.

Hi Omaha, when my OH got very forgetful, I spoke to my GP, and he arranged a wellman check up ( he does one each year anyway so OH happy to go) from there things moved fairly fast, Phil has only been diagnosed 6 months, and he has deteriorated fast, much faster then expected, personally I think its best to know asap, so you have time to organise things like POA, which can only be done when the person concerned has capacity to understand whats being done. I would say get a diagnosis asap as it can be ages to get any help. I dont know if the sufferer knows things arent right, but you will know, there will be others who may be able to help you more. wishing you well. mabbs
 

Tears Falling

Registered User
Jul 8, 2013
637
I am sorry to read about your other half. It must be very frightening for you both.

I always think that where possible family should be aware of what people want. Be it in relation to a bucket type list, or the type of funeral someone wants, to making arrangements for the future etc. To me its common sense and good planning. It may help to reduce the some of the stress that may come in the future.

But its not just for him its for you both. You don't know what tomorrow will bring, we have to live for today and make the memories now. Encouragement and your own honesty may help your other half feel that he can open up to express those wants and feelings.

best wishes.