Can't help wondering

[vintagemaid]

Many years ago I was convinced my husband was suffering from sleep apnoea but he would not see our GP. He then went on a trip to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and had to share a tent with a consultant friend who told him he must attend a clinic for sleep apnoea and he was prescribed a CPAP machine which he has used ever since. A couple of years ago he was diagnosed with mixed vascular/Alzheimer's dementia. Am beating myself up now as it seems untreated sleep apnoea can lead to dementia. Maybe if he had taken heed earlier we wouldn't be where we are now .

 

[karaokePete]

Life is full of 'what if' moments.

I'm sure there were other risk factors at play. My wife had several from her life before she met me.

Please don't beat yourself up as that serves no purpose.

 

[vintagemaid]

Life is full of 'what if' moments.

I'm sure there were other risk factors at play. My wife had several from her life before she met me.

Please don't beat yourself up as that serves no purpose.

I guess that I as a see him gradually getting worse, and read on here what I may be facing in the future, it all seems a bit daunting.

 

[Sarasa]

Try and take each day as it comes @vintagemaid . Not everything you read here will happen to your husband. Just deal with each problem as it arises.

 

[karaokePete]

I guess that I as a see him gradually getting worse, and read on here what I may be facing in the future, it all seems a bit daunting.

Whilst being realistic about my own situation, I bear in mind that there are many types of dementia with peoples experiences being very varied. I read posts on the forum with the thought of preparing for the worst, while hoping for the best.

For myself, I think it's worth bearing in mind that many of the posts are made by people who have problems, rather than those who are living well with dementia so don't seek out a place like this.

I also think perspective can be altered by extensive reading. I have seen many posts made by people who seem to have been 'thrown' by issues that I have taken in my stride because I knew what they were and how to deal with them - one of the values of the site.

 

[vintagemaid]

Thank you @Sarasa , I do try but guess I have woken up today feeling disheartened.

My Dad died in a care home in 1999 with dementia. We used to visit my parents (2 hours drive away) once a month and I kept mentioning to my Mum that I was concerned about my Dad but she denied there was anything wrong. In 1996 when she went into hospital with undiagnosed cancer we had carers going into Dad. Sadly she didn't come out. The carer wasn't sure if Dad was taking medication correctly so called an ambulance, he was admitted to hospital and then had to be sectioned to keep him there. He was finally diagnosed and released from hospital to a care home near me. I visited him regularly but he always thought I was just another member of staff who had just come on shift. Guess my husband's behaviour now is stirring up memories that I thought I had coped with.

 

[fromnz123]

Hi @vintagemaid when my husband was diagnosed with sleep apnea in December 2019 he was issued with a CPAP machine, he used it twice for an hour snd returned 6 weeks later!
Fast forward 18 months he’s been issued with another CPAP which he wouldn’t even let me take out of the bag.
Apparently there’s nothing wrong with him and sleeps fine, doesn’t believe the doctors findings.
At the last visit he told the doctor that the average lifespan for a man is 3 score years plus 10, so as he’s 68 , and no one lives forever there is no point!
I pointed out about quality of life whilst we are here, apparently that’s fine too, it just doesn’t suit the wife!’??‍♀️

 

[vintagemaid]

Hi @vintagemaid when my husband was diagnosed with sleep apnea in December 2019 he was issued with a CPAP machine, he used it twice for an hour snd returned 6 weeks later!
Fast forward 18 months he’s been issued with another CPAP which he wouldn’t even let me take out of the bag.
Apparently there’s nothing wrong with him and sleeps fine, doesn’t believe the doctors findings.
At the last visit he told the doctor that the average lifespan for a man is 3 score years plus 10, so as he’s 68 , and no one lives forever there is no point!
I pointed out about quality of life whilst we are here, apparently that’s fine too, it just doesn’t suit the wife!’??‍♀️

I guess that I am lucky in some respects @fromnz123 , as my husband has been using the machine for so long it has become so much part of his routine, whether that will last I don't know. I have every sympathy though with you as before he had the machine I had taken to sleeping in the spare room as I couldn't cope with the noisy breathing/snoring.