My grandmother just passed after an eight year battle with Alzheimer's Disease. My mother & father took care of her until she got sundowners, and has been in a facility since early fall. Before she was placed I helped when I could, where I could (making lunch and such) but truth be told I dreaded it- she wasn't the same woman who I loved so dearly and spent so much time with as a child. Those visits (she was advanced at that point) disturbed and scared me so much and I hated myself for feeling that way. When she was placed in a home I never went and saw her and now she is gone. I feel like a horrible human being, selfish and suffering from so much guilt. I just want to know if anyone else out there has felt this way, or if I am truly not worth the air I am breathing. Thank you.