I can't believe this is happening, I never wanted my mother to end up in a care home but after locking herself out of the house at 4 am, nearly dying of hypothermia it seems I have to admit defeat and probably can't keep her safe in her own home anymore. She was getting more confused and anxious for weeks and I knew she must have some sort of infection because you just know your own mother don't you. I pestered the GP constantly tp investigate but just got the usual "it's the dementia, you have to expect this" answer, they just couldn;t be bothered and told me the urine samples were clear and stop being a neurotic daughter and go away. It all ended up with her locking herself out, (she never left the house alone) and was only save from freezing to death by a neighbour, and finally it was discovered she had sepsis. (It would have been so much cheaper and less stress all round, specially for my mother, if the GP had just ordered the proper tests in the first place - NHS take note) . They played the usual musical beds with her in hospital until she was completely disorientated, off her legs, incontinent and deeply depressed, then gave her a handful of antibiotics and sent her on her way. She was too unwell to go home, even with her care package, so I had to move her into a private care home overnight (the only one offered by social services was NOT acceptable) , but then this one didn't look after her properly and I was tearing my hair out with worry, then moved her to another private home which has managed to get her back on her feet and has given me some peace of mind. But she is now so confused that she needs 24 hour supervision so I have been forced into having to make a decision about her future, but I can't stop beating myself up thinking could I have done anything differently, should I move her in with me or get some live-in care so she can return home, even though she hasn't known where "home" is for a long time now. Everyone keeps telling me I have done my best to keep her at home for so long, in spite of all the battles with social services, care agencies, district nurses, psychiatrists et al (you all know the drill). This is apparently good for her and that I have to get back to work and I need my life back etc, but I hate seeing my mother become more institutionalised each day in this care home, even though they are very caring and kind and try to keep them occupied, well fed and watered. But it's not her home is it. And I can't help feeling that I or society have failed somewhere.