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Can't believe how resourceful I have become during the past 2 years

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Unasmum, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. Unasmum

    Unasmum Registered User

    Jan 6, 2018
    17
    Female
    UK
    This is not a cry for help just a recognition of how resourceful I have had to become in finding my way around my mother's issues. I know you will all understand you have been there too.

    It was my Mum's birthday at the beginning of the month and my sister and I pushed the boat out for her. We organised a a family party with all her children , grandchildren, nieces and nephews there; ordered her a special cake - fruit just they way she likes- and she was showered with attention and presents. She loved it , has forgotten all about it now of course, but at the time it was worth the effort.
    I spent a lot of money on a beautiful card, because I know she enjoys looking at them and reading the verses and messages. Sure enough, she loved it and it is still on her mantlepiece. Her other cards are now in a pile and she re reads them several times a day and writes a list of those who sent them to her. Of course I am never on the list, as my card is still on the mantlepiece, so her list always ends with a note in block capitals - NO CARD FROM UNASMUM. This is followed up with a tearful call where I am berated for forgetting her birthday and accusing me of not caring. Today I bought another card signed it and slipped it into her pile - problem solved. It is amazing how resourceful we have to become.
     
  2. Jale

    Jale Registered User

    Jul 9, 2018
    271
    Female
    Hope your Mum is now happier that you have "sent her" a card;)
     
  3. Lynmax

    Lynmax Registered User

    Nov 1, 2016
    234
    I am amazed at how many lies I tell my mum!

    Today I had arranged for an engineer from Cadent to fit a gas cut off valve on her cooker ( totally free!) and she was fretting about the cost, why he was here, what was he doing etc etc. I told her that a fault had been identified as part of her annual service and that the repair was included in her contract. This made her happy as she thought she was getting her money's worth!

    Unfortunately, he was unable to fit the key operated valve discreetly in a cupboard due to electricity cables behind the tiles so mum now had some rather ugly copper pipes and a big yellow knob right above her hob! But we get peace of mind as mum can no longer light the oven or rather try to light it then potentially leave it unattended!

    We're going to,paint the pipes white to match the tiles then I think she won't notice them.
     
  4. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    183
    channel islands
    #4 Donkeyshere, Sep 21, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2019
    We have respite care coming up in a few weeks, our first. The MIL has remembered and asked why she could not stay at home when we go away, (she lives with us) I said, well my boys (adults who have stayed in the house on previous occasions but no longer a viable option to look after her) are away together so there would be no one in the house to stay with you. One of my boys is actually staying in the house to look after the animals, so she thought quickly and said what about the dogs and cat, I said oh one is going into kennels, (true) the other is going to stay with the boys dad and the cat to the cattery (not so true!) Just have to remember what I have said because she can forget to eat breakfast but sure as eggs, she won't forget what I've said about the animals! As you say resourceful and a little white lie now and again goes a long way!
     
  5. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,149
    Yes the card issue, I spend a fortune on cards that adorn the mantle piece & shelves. It’s just another little thing to solve. I keep telling all who visit Mum to be positive & give weekly updates on the latest positive messages to reinforce the help in place. Carers etc, always have an input in this & it helps to feel part of a team all on the same side.
     

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