I sometimes wish I was a mind reader & could get some insight in to what my 'mother' is really thinking. One day she says one thing, the next she says the opposite, then she has no idea she has said anything. I don't know if she would prefer to be in a care home as she says one thing one minute and then something else. If she is too confused to know what she wants I don't know how to help as I am not close to her and she is not my mother is the normal sense and I did not know her as a child. She lives independently in sheltered housing and a warden knocks the door each morning to basically check she is still alive, but it is just a hullo/goodbye involvement! My mother asked me to look after her bank card a while ago & get her money when she needs it as she won't go near an ATM & used to continually lose her card. Recently she phoned me demanding to know why I am controlling her finances & saying she did not authorise it & demanding to know who did. I reassured her of the true situation & said she was welcome to have the card back etc. She was very unpleasant but appeared to have no memory of it the next day. She is once again adamant that she wants me to look after her card although in many ways I wish I did not have the responsibility, but there is no one else. She periodically asks about money & thinks she has none so I get her a statement so she can see it in black & white but she forgets in minutes She even asked me to help her claim an old age pension as she believed she had no income! She is in her late 80's.
I called round the other day with her prescription medication and she must have been making toast, but on answering the door, the toast was forgotten, although she said she had recently tried to eat some but had to spit it out due to breathing problems. I did not realise she had actually left toast under the grill & she did not even notice the smoke although by that point the grill pan was on fire due to the toast & oil in the pan. She wanted to throw water on it, despite it being oil that was in flames! The smoke alarm did not go off so I said I'd test it, but she would not let me and said last time 4 men came running. She has had two assessments and not been honest in either so help was deemed unnecessary. When she did have 6 weeks of carers coming in after a hospital visit, she would not let them make her any food, complained they came too early, took offence very easily and was generally uncooperative. She can sit and have general chit chat and I think people who see her only occasionally do not get a true picture yet the policy is to be very open about everything, and not say anything behind her back. When she was assessed and made out she can do all sorts of things that she cannot, the assessor then asked me if I had any concerns or wanted to add anything! How can I say the true picture with my mother listening and inevitably having apoplexy and saying I am lying and she is not? I find that the authorities are not always discreet if you try to tell them how things really are and they want the person with Alzheimers fully informed. This might seem ideal but it can also be very cruel to the sufferer & the carer. Even the Medical Centres are so impersonal now. My 'mother' never sees the same doctor twice. They have sent her a form to go and get a fasting blood test even though she is is no position to get to the venue. If they have even noticed that she has Alzheimers they will just assume that someone somewhere will sort it. I seem to be rambling now, but right now I just wish this would all go away.
I called round the other day with her prescription medication and she must have been making toast, but on answering the door, the toast was forgotten, although she said she had recently tried to eat some but had to spit it out due to breathing problems. I did not realise she had actually left toast under the grill & she did not even notice the smoke although by that point the grill pan was on fire due to the toast & oil in the pan. She wanted to throw water on it, despite it being oil that was in flames! The smoke alarm did not go off so I said I'd test it, but she would not let me and said last time 4 men came running. She has had two assessments and not been honest in either so help was deemed unnecessary. When she did have 6 weeks of carers coming in after a hospital visit, she would not let them make her any food, complained they came too early, took offence very easily and was generally uncooperative. She can sit and have general chit chat and I think people who see her only occasionally do not get a true picture yet the policy is to be very open about everything, and not say anything behind her back. When she was assessed and made out she can do all sorts of things that she cannot, the assessor then asked me if I had any concerns or wanted to add anything! How can I say the true picture with my mother listening and inevitably having apoplexy and saying I am lying and she is not? I find that the authorities are not always discreet if you try to tell them how things really are and they want the person with Alzheimers fully informed. This might seem ideal but it can also be very cruel to the sufferer & the carer. Even the Medical Centres are so impersonal now. My 'mother' never sees the same doctor twice. They have sent her a form to go and get a fasting blood test even though she is is no position to get to the venue. If they have even noticed that she has Alzheimers they will just assume that someone somewhere will sort it. I seem to be rambling now, but right now I just wish this would all go away.
