Hi
Sorry in the delay in an update but there has been so much going on.
Firstly Social services came around to my Nan's one day to see if she was suitable for a residential home,as we had been in to tell them we could not cope and she needs 24hr care. and she had finally agreed to try a home. we were told that she did not meet the criteria for a residential home as she was not bedridden! it was clear that because e were looking after her they did not care so we said from today we will have no more to do with her, what will you do to help her now that we will not help no more, she said nothing whether you are helping her or not we will not help her. We could not believe our ears if we did not help her she would;d not have any food, and live in a dirty flat and have no clean clothes and more which we told social serves and they did not care. We were put on the pile and told when we get to the top they will do another assessment. Weeks later we got a phone call to say when the assessment was to be done.
We went to the assessment and the people who clean and feed her also turned up as did her social worker. We discussed everything and my Nan's social worker asked her if she would try out a residential home she said YES!! thank god even she commented on hoe easy that was. She told us that her care package was going to be increased so someone was going in 3 times a day to wash,dress and feed her and make sure everything was OK. We were to look around residential homes, we informed her that we already had started and we had found one that was perfect for her. we told her the name and then told us she COULD NOT go in that home unless we could pay the extra money which worked out to much over what we could afford, we tried hard to see if we could get enough each month on top of all the bills etc we have to pay out and they was no way we could afford such a ridiculous amount. the strange thing was that the home never told us top up fees were payable at their home.
We felt so much better after the meeting as we knew that her care was being increased from that day and we were all working to getting her in a home. we had a booklet to ring up homes, by the times you crossed of the ones that do not take people with Alzheimer's you could count them the ones left on your hands. I called every home that took Alzheimer's, one call after another we don't have any spaces available and there are none coming up in the near future. The ones that had spaces you could count on one hand not exactly a lot of choice. We got a phone call from my Nan's social worker informing that there was a space in a home and we could go around to see it today if we were able. S after my mum finished work we went to this home, we looked around the bedroom was minute by the time a bed and wardrobe was in it there was no room to move. it was not en suite and the nearest toilet was down a corridor. this was the only room available and was right by the stairs which are very steep. we knew it would be no good as if she got up in the night to go to the tolilet or anything she could very easily turn to the stairs and fell down. it was too risky for her we know whats she like and there was no way she could cope with the stairs especially at night. We asked how much the fees were so we could get an idea of whats what. The home only told us how much social services would pay. at least we know what range we can look for. Over the weekend my brother and me drove to a few homes to look around and see if they were suitable and get details from them.
The next day my mum and me had to go to her sisters in Manchester as she had to go into hospital and we were going up there to look after her and her children. We had only been there a few days and my dad was on the phone he was in a right state, he has suffered from severe depression for years now, we were concerned about what was upsetting him. he spoke to my mum and i could hear her getting more and more upset and annoyed. when she got of the phone she explained that mu Nan's social worker had just called my dad to ask about the home we had visited that she suggested my dad told her what we thought about it, it is also i a red light area, my dad had drove my Nan to have a look at the home but as soon as they entered the area she was complaining that is was a horrible area and she would not live any where like this.(it is a very bad area we don't like it either but we had to let her see as well)
she then told him that i had looked at other homes in different areas that were much more suitable and that when we got back from Manchester we would look at all the other so we could find the right one. she said it was not my choice or my mums, it was up to him and his mother where she went. she than changed her mind and said it was nothing to do with him and she had the authority to put his mother in that home weather we and she likes it or not and she was going to put her in this home asap she was going to drive around pick her up and drop her off and this home. my dad said you cant do that she hates the place and so do we you cant put her in any old home it has to be right for her. she moaned some more and told him that on this occasion she would not do it but she could it she wanted!! I could not believe what i was hearing. we had no option now but to put a complaint in this had gone way over the top she must have broken some kind of rule you cant treat people like she was.
We emailed a very long and detailed letter of complaint to the head of social services and sent it to as many people who were head of complaints as we could. We got an out of office for a few weeks reply, we needed this sorted now not when he gets back from holiday. the other people replied eventually a day or so before we were to come back home.
When we got back home we looked around all the homes that had spaces again i called all the home that toke Alzheimer's again just in case someone had had some spaces available. but still there was only enough to count on one hand. We went to look around all these other homes and found one that was amazing, it was en suite like other we had now seen, the room was a good size bigger then others we had seen and the staff were fab with the residents that were all ready there. this was the home for my Nan.
Unfortunately the problem with social services was still ongoing a date was set for a hearing to sort the issues out, we keep them social services informed and told them that we had found the home for her, we took my Nan to look around it she loved the room and talked the staff. A day was arranged for my Nan to go to the home and stay for the day without us so they could see how she got on. When we picked her up at 6pm they said she had got on really well and had talked with residents and staff and had enjoyed herself and they would have no problem to take her. we were so happy that she got on well their and liked it as we were leaving she said she would be back tomorrow!
Social services kept messing us about, the meeting date was getting nearer but we did not want to miss out on the space at this home. it was confirmed with the home that after the meeting it would be decided if she could have the room and the home said they would keep the room reserved until they had heard more. We had another problem as they had said they would not pay what they originally told us and the first home that they would how can they tell one home shes high risk and so they will pay one amount and then changed their minds for thew home she was to go in, and there was a big difference in price. we knew we would have to pay a top up fee but with the amount we were originally told we knew we could afford it but with this new price there was no way we could.
The meeting date came and when my mum and dad got back we were told that she would be able to go in the home, they agreed to pay the price they had originally said and apologised for what had happened.
My Nan has now moved into this residential home and has been there for a few weeks now. we did have problems to start with as at night sh was wandering and had disturbed staff and the other residents she kept trying to get out of the fire exit, and front doors, and they did not know if they could cope with her or not. they took her to the doctors and got her put on some medication to help her settle down, she is no settled and has made a few friend we still go and see her regularly. when she first went in we asked how often we should visit, we were told everyone different. we went every day for the first week just so she knew that her family were still around and make sure she was settling. We don't go everyday now as she has settled but still go regularly in the week and weekend.
Its taken such a long time to get to this point we have been through so much just trying to get her in to a home it really was ridiculous the problems we had with social services it was appalling from start to finish. At least now my Nan is some where were she is happy and getting the 24hour care she has needed for such along time now for years she has need this care and after fighting so hard she is finally somewhere where she gets all the care she needs its taken too long to get her i hope that the laws are changed to make life much more easier for people trying to get the care a member of the family needs so much to survive. I really do hope that no one else has such a bad times as we have had with social services. it disgusting to think how long she has needed 24hour care and they have not been bothered to help her get the care she has needed for such a long time.
Thanks for all your help