can someone give my some advice

rainbow 54

Registered User
Jul 3, 2006
10
Hi everyone,
Everyday i notice something new now Mum is not eating her crusts on the sandwich and leaving dinner she chews some of it and then leaves it on the plate is this another thing that happens,also as i said she has a bed sore and i have to dress it everyday,but the nurse said that the dressing should last a week but sometimes i have to re apply it twice a day,the nurse said that it needs to stay on as long as possible for it to start working.Also the nurse wants to refer to Social Services but i dont want it.What can they do i dont want carers washing and cooking and cleaning for mum i am doing it and that is how i want it to stay can i refuse there help. I just dont want all and sundries coming in and out of my house does that sound alwful this is my childrens house to and they want some privacy
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Rainbow,
Oh if only Social Services did send in an army of washers, cooks and cleaners!! They might provide someone though to come and sit with mum whilst you went out with your children. They might be able to take a little pressure off you, as it is going to become more difficult.
Why are you having to change the dressing twice a day? Is it leaking? What has the nurse said for you to do?
Best wishes,
Helen
 

mumof3

Registered User
Feb 6, 2006
82
I understand completely where you are coming from rainbow 54 - I sometimes think that my MIL's house must be a bit like piccadily circus with a carer coming in every morning and evening for 1/2 hour and then 4 times a week for a couple of hours and then 2 days being picked up for the day centre. But the difference is that she lives alone and she needs that input because we are not able to provide it. Your Mum is fortunate to be in a different position and this will be recognised by Social Services.

Getting SS involved doesn't necessarily mean opening the doors to hoards of carers. From our experience they will be more than happy if family members are taking on the role of carer for personal and practical health and home matters. However, much of the support my MIL receives is social ie. someone comes in for a couple of hours just to chat with her, have a coffee, walk up to the shop with her , that kind of thing. It sounds as if your mum does not want for company but a new face may provide some extra stimulation and give you a break too. Just a thought.

I do think it might be helpful to get your mum in the system so to speak because then it will be far easier to access assistance and support if there comes a time when you do need it. If your mum's needs are assessed now then they have something to measure against if things change further down the line. All SS are interested in is that your mum's needs are met and I'm sure that you have nothing to worry about on that score. I just don't think you have anything to lose and they may surprise you with ways of support that could improve things for you and your mum.

Best wishes.
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Rainbow,
That must be difficult to keep it in place, it being disturbed every time she sits down and stands up. Does the nurse have an ideas about how to stop the dressing moving?
Love Helen