Can I take my Mom out of a Nursing Home?

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,361
South coast
Oh fr0d0 - my heart goes out to you
You must love your mum very much to be willing to do all of that.
When someone first goes into a care home, especially if they have come from hospital, they are lost and confused and probably still unwell. You look at them and you just want to scoop them up in your arms and make it all better.

Unfortunately its not always for their best and may not even be possible. I remember when my MIL was in hospital after a back injury I discovered that she had to be turned by two nurses every 2 hours throughout the day and the night. She had a little chart by her bed and it showed about 5 or 6 different postures (stick man type diagrams) of the different positions and I asked the nurses about it - thats how I found out. They said that the positions had to be done in strict rotation and were designed so that nowhere on her body had the weight on it for more than 2 hours and then had a rest so that bed sores were minimised (she had an air mattress too).

Looking after a paralysed person requires nursing abilities and most things (turning, hoisting, changing, cleaning) require 2 people.

I think pickles idea of staying for a couple of days is a good one. You could stay B&B nearby and arrive first thing and stay there during the day until late evening. Also talk to the nurses and find out what care she needs. Remember that things can change quite rapidly too.
 

eslainy

Registered User
May 5, 2015
2
My Mom has dementia and was hospitalised 5 weeks ago with a UTI. When discussing discharge our Social Worker suggested that Mom go back home with a full care package and family help. We decided against this and decided that a Nursing Home would be the way forward, but after only 4 days we have realised we have made a huge mistake and Mom shouldn't be there. She is surrounded by people much further along their dementia journey than she is, she is scared and we want to get her home ASAP. I am planning to speak to the Social Worker in the morning, but was wondering if anybody else had experience of this and whether there are any obstacles I can expect to meet?
I have recently taken my elderly aunt out of her care home where she was for 2 months, she hated it and was not at the stage of the other dementia patients. I have moved in to her home where everthing is familiar for her. It has not been easy, good days and bad and i do wonder if i have done the right thing but to see her smile in her own surroundings is worth it..... so far!
 

fr0d0

Registered User
Dec 23, 2009
186
Mid Wales
Thank you for the advice. My mum's been at the home 4 weeks now. She was turned 2 hourly in hospital they said. Maybe the level of care would be too much for one person. Maybe an additional carer needed so many times during the day would be out the question. I'm quite big and healthy, strong and ugly enough to move my mum myself. Not to disparage anything trained carers can do. I'm just wondering if those policies intended to keep people at home with their families included my situation. I know for sure that it be better for my mum socially. Maybe not so much for me but I want to know how far home support goes.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,361
South coast
Fr0d0 - Im sure you are strong enough to move your mum and I expect she is now light as a feather, but the reason they get 2 trained nurses to turn someone is so that they dont injure the person by moving and/or putting them down the wrong way

It must be so difficult seeing her like this. Would her friends who would visit her at home not be willing to visit her in the NH?