Oh fr0d0 - my heart goes out to you You must love your mum very much to be willing to do all of that. When someone first goes into a care home, especially if they have come from hospital, they are lost and confused and probably still unwell. You look at them and you just want to scoop them up in your arms and make it all better. Unfortunately its not always for their best and may not even be possible. I remember when my MIL was in hospital after a back injury I discovered that she had to be turned by two nurses every 2 hours throughout the day and the night. She had a little chart by her bed and it showed about 5 or 6 different postures (stick man type diagrams) of the different positions and I asked the nurses about it - thats how I found out. They said that the positions had to be done in strict rotation and were designed so that nowhere on her body had the weight on it for more than 2 hours and then had a rest so that bed sores were minimised (she had an air mattress too). Looking after a paralysed person requires nursing abilities and most things (turning, hoisting, changing, cleaning) require 2 people. I think pickles idea of staying for a couple of days is a good one. You could stay B&B nearby and arrive first thing and stay there during the day until late evening. Also talk to the nurses and find out what care she needs. Remember that things can change quite rapidly too.