Can I ... Should I?

[Sam Luvit]

I’ve sent brother to bed. Maybe he can grab an hour before going to work. I’m supposed to be the emotional one, but he’s realky upset. Apparently Mum kept saying .. “why are you doing this to me? Just take me out & shoot me”

When I came down, he was helping her with some water, I watched, but couldn’t see her swallow, then she started chocking. Im fearing the worst (swallowing now stopped), but hoping it was just a one off “going down the wrong way”.

For the first time in my life, my mum has warm hands .

She trying to tell me something, she still knows it’s me, saying “no Sam ..” as I try to guess what she wants

 

[Amethyst59]

Bless her heart...and yours....so very hard for you. We are with you in spirit. Feel the arms round you, and our thoughts surrounding you.

 

[Cat27]

Thinking of you all today Sam. Sending love & hugs.

 

[Sam Luvit]

I’ve called out the DN. Mum can’t swallow, gave her 1ml water through the syringe & she chocked. Then the pulled on my saying. “I can’t stand the pain. I can’t stand the pain”

She kicking her legs, heavy breathing, while I hold her hand & try to tell her it’s ok

 

[Izzy]

Oh Sam. I'm so sorry to read your update. I hope the DN arrives soon and can make your mum more comfortable.

 

[Cat27]

Oh Sam. You’re doing an amazing job.

 

[2jays]

Heartbreaking time

Keeping you in my thoughts

Hugs xxxxxx

 

[Prudence9]

Thinking of you both Sam and sending (((hugs))) of support.
Hope the DN arrives soon and your Mum's pain is eased.
Heartbreaking for you to watch.

 

[Margi29]

It's absolutely awful this stage, not wanting someone you love to go, but for this torture to stop, they must leave.

You have deepest sympathy and understanding of this cruel heartbreaking situation x

 

[Slugsta]

Oh Sam! It sounds as if the dose of morphine in the syringe driver needs to be increased. No point in it being there if mum is still in so much pain.

Sending you strength and courage - and more ((((((((hugs)))))))) of course!

 

[love.dad.but..]

I saw in dad the swallowing reflex went suddenly as Slugsta has suggested she may need her pain relief increased and maybe a review to see if any other meds she is not having will help her if she has reached this final stage. It is just horrible to witness...no other way to describe it...but you and your brother are continuing to do a fantastic job.

 

[Slugsta]

Just a thought - if mum's swallowing reflex really has gone, it is worth asking about the desirability of giving something to dry up her secretions. It would mean that she doesn't have to deal with her own saliva - but could also make her more thirsty . . .

 

[Earthgirl72]

Really hoping that the DN has been by now and managed to ease your mum's pain. I remember this stage with FIL (not dementia, but just as heartbreaking.) I really hope that the meds can be tweaked and bring your mum to a more peaceful state. I am sorry if this is coming out all wrong... I really don't know how to say what I want to, but cannot just drop by without posting.

Leaving more (((((hugs))))) and the promise of as many more as you need to get through this.

Sam xx

 

[Toony Oony]

Thinking of you and much love to you all.

X

 

[Sam Luvit]

Thank you @Amethyst59 as hard as it is for us, it’s harder for Mum. They’ve given more morphine, thankfully she’s sleeping now

 

[Sam Luvit]

Thank you @Cat27 I think it’s going to be a long day

 

[Sam Luvit]

The DN couldn’t come or something, @Izzy so Hospice came out, over 2 hours later. I was sitting cuddling her, she was trying not to move as it hurt so much, she said the cystitis was back

 

[Starbright]

The DN couldn’t come or something, @Izzy so Hospice came out, over 2 hours later. I was sitting cuddling her, she was trying not to move as it hurt so much, she said the cystitis was back

Sam this is such a heartbreaking time for you ..your mum is so strong and has amazing willpower she’s fighting all the way (( I had this with my mum and dad a long time ago now )) and it is the worst not being able to help .But you are right there by her side and she knows that ...please be gentle with yourself and know we on TP are all thinking of you...wraparound hugs stay strong A. x

 

[imsoblue]

Prayers and Hugs. They are red, white, and blue.

 

[try again]

Hugs to you all