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Can I ... Should I?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Sam Luvit, Oct 26, 2016.

  1. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,391
    Female
    Chester
  2. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    I’m ok @jugglingmum, thank you :) Been busy clearing. My lounge is true “floor level filing” right now .. covered with folders, so I can sit in the middle & hole lunch & slot in the various papers

    I have 4 different sets. One for dad (I’ve found very little of his, so mum must have binned those :(). One set for mum, which is up to five folders so far. One set for all my junk .. I’m shredding loads as some is very old. One for everything to do with this house.

    When I’m done it will be super organised, but it’s taking forever to get it all sorted.

    So, with paperwork all over the lounge, the wind howling outside & a new car to get used to, I’ve been pretty much at it every waking moment

    Naturally, that meant I’ve not hoovered or scrubbed or painted anything ... so I got a call to say they are bringing someone to view the house tomorrow :( WouId that have anything to do with me saying I’ll take it off the market in a week or two if nothing has happened???
     
  3. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,261
    USA
    Sam, it's good to hear from you. I hate the paperwork, loathe it actually, but agree it's better when it's organized. Your system sounds efficient! I also often will spread things out on the floor as I haven't a table or other work surface large enough.

    I'm sad to say that my mother, and her mother, also must have binned a lot of things, from photos to family papers to my grandfather's writings. It's hard to be surprised by the things you don't expect to find, but also hard to NOT find things you know should be there.

    I think you could do with some (((((((((hugs))))))))). We don't want the account to run low!
     
  4. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Morning all,

    Good thinking Amy, it is high time I made a hug deposit too :) ((((hugs))))

    My OH organised all our paperwork into folders several years ago and, once done, it makes everything so much easier to find! I'm ashamed to say that I am pretty chaotic with my paperwork, so a sort out was badly needed :oops:
     
  5. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,391
    Female
    Chester
    Sam please come and sort out my paperwork once you've done yours.

    I'm sure you'll be sick of the sight of paperwork once you've done yours in reality.

    Did you have a trip coming up? or has it been and gone?

    I used to be organised with paperwork but at the moment I'm not and so it builds up!:(:confused::oops::eek:
     
  6. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    There is never a big enough table when sorting paperwork @Amy in the US ... the floor is best :D

    I think it’s sad that mum threw out so much that I wouId have liked to keep, but she did keep the first letter dad wrote to her, it’s in a jewellery box he gave her later. I’ve not opened or read the letter, she showed me the envelope a few weeks before she died. I was gobsmacked that she had kept it, but maybe one day, I will read it, although it seems invasive to even think that now

    I’m hopeful that the little paperwork I have found of dads will be enough to satisfy an audit, should I be unlucky enough to be randomly selected. Not sure what they will or can do to me, but I’d rather not find out.

    I hate looking for something that should be here (those blooming stock certs), but not knowing if they are here & I might still find them, or if they are long gone. I’m pretty much resigned to having to pay for duplicates now. It wouId be nice if they wouId take that off the value, but unfortunately I have to pay upfront.

    Nothing easy about or around this disease o_O

    Thank you sooooooo much for the hugs. Maybe one day I’ll get to return the favour in real life :eek:
     
  7. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    Dad used to be very organised @Slugsta, that very suddenly went pear shaped & mum asked me to sort it out. I managed to persuade him to let me sort it out, ready for the accountant. Four months later it was a mess again & I had to do it again. I was not happy. When he decided to pull papers out & leave them all over the desk a few months after that, I gave him a choice. Leave it to me, or do it yourself.

    I don’t mind sorting. In fact I get a kick out of making it all neat n tidy but I hate, hate, hate doing it again & again. It’s like correcting the same mistake over & over :(

    I’m very logical, I like order & getting paperwork sorted so it works is part of my logic. I make it simple & easy, so it flows. But I only want to do it once :rolleyes:

    After sorting it all out, finding that someone (first dad & then mum) has pulled my system apart just drives me insane. I’ve found instruction for how an iron works in with Premium Bonds statements. I mean. Really. Where is the logic :eek::eek::eek:

    Thank you for the hugs. I love hugs. I need more real life hugs, but these are good too :rolleyes::eek::D
     
  8. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    #8128 Sam Luvit, Nov 11, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2018
    Hi @jugglingmum

    You know what, I’m more than happy to sort anyone’s paperwork out, just not mine. Mine is full of memories. It’s my house, that I had to sell, but so wanted to hang into. It’s that doctor I argued with. It’s that hospital stay that went wrong. But someone else’s paperwork is just NHS, Water, Electric, Gas, Rates etc, there is no emotion, it’s just pure logic

    WouId that it be great if we could do a circle & pass our paperwork to the next person & do a strangers. It wouId be so much easier

    The only trip I can think of is going to have a “casual” meet up with 2 lovely people from here. It was really nice & well worth the hours in the car. Some might say 5 hours driving for 3 hours meeting was not a good ratio, but I’d disagree :D More than worth the effort ;)
     
  9. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,261
    USA
    Sam, that's a fabulous idea. I have no trouble sorting out someone else's papers, or doing it for a job, I just hate doing my own. Maybe I can travel around the UK as a professional "paperwork sorter!"
     
  10. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Morning all,

    Great idea, Sam and Amy! I'm sure both of you would more than earn your keep by sorting out paperwork for people :)

    My choir leader said last week that his dad always sorts out his invoices, receipts etc for the accountant. This year, just after the lot had been given to the accountant, dad phoned to say he had found another receipt (down the side of the chair) and what should he do with it. Choir leader was very tempted to say 'Just chuck it' until he discovered it was for the sum of £950! So, he had to get the whole lot back from the accountant and re-do the figures.

    Speaking of choir, my Wednesday choir is singing for a little remembrance thing today. One song before 11am ('A little peace') and a medley of WWI songs afterwards.. I was running around to get a nice poppy brooch yesterday cos the paper ones come off as soon as I put my handbag/seatbelt on.

    The weather has been pretty rough for the past few days - windy and with some heavy rain 'showers'. It is hard to think that it is only 3 weeks ago that we were eating ice-creams on the prom!

    (((hugs))) for all
     
  11. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    Oiy you, that’s my future income :D:D:D
     
  12. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    I’m more than happy sorting anyone else’s paperwork, I get a great feeling of achievement when it’s done. It wouId be my idea of a perfect job @Slugsta

    I always suggest people get one of those old fashioned concertina files & drop receipts in for each month, failing that, get 12 A4 envelopes & name them January to December & use those. Never ceases to amaze me how many people don’t have a system to keep the receipts safe

    I managed to get a poppy that clips onto a key chain this year. Tesco had a large selection at their desk. Did you find something suitable?

    My neighbours fence, (which was waiting to be repaired), gave it up this week. It’s now lying on her lawn. Mine is still standing, but I have been doing a walk around to check. Where did that sunny walk on the Prom weather go?
     
  13. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    I got a nice poppy badge from the market but only £1 of it went to RBL, so I put a bit more into a collection tin too. The remembrance service was actually bigger than I anticipated and was very moving. Not only did the rain hold off, the sun actually shone - although it bucketed down afterwards.

    OH and I quizzed this evening. There were only a few people there, it will fold soon if we don't manage to get more. We won the main quiz but, as usual, were rubbish at the music and picture rounds!
     
  14. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    I’m hopeless at quiz questions. I have a “gut” reaction, which tends to be right, but when it goes to TV programs or personalities, geography or art, I’m a waste of space :rolleyes:

    Give me numbers or a business model any day of the week :D @Slugsta
     
  15. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,261
    USA
    I imagine we could have a very successful TP team!
     
  16. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User


    Indeed! It's a pity we can't quiz together.
     
  17. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    Is that a “tag” team for the paperwork? :p
     
  18. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    300
    Hi all -
    Just surfacing after wading through the post holiday laundry. Had a great time with daughter, weather sublime, vertigo not so much ... it just refuses to go. Decided this may be linked with my total loss of smell and taste and time to see GP, so tried to book an online appt ........ 3rd December is the earliest :mad:. Ergo, I have to be awake at 6.30am tomorrow to either catch an unused appt or head up to the surgery to try and be the first in line for the released appts before their phone starts ringing.

    Glad you have your new car Sam, hope it is all you wished for. Have I missed the name? OH always insists ours have boys names Quote: 'as they are more likely to behave well and do as they are told' Hmmmmph - no comment.

    Thanks for the tip about the monthly concertina file ..... who knows, that might just work for me? My current system is to deal with everything as soon as it comes in, then dump it in a huge storage ottoman. When I feel particularly brave or holy, I weed and file.

    Your Remembrance service sounded lovely @Slugsta.

    Seems as though Mum was OK in my absence - evidently she has slept a lot and has obviously been passing the time 'decorating' her room. She was pleased to see me on Sunday, told me my face looked good (no she does not have defective eyesight!) - I think it was the tan and absence of eye bags :D.

    XX
     
  19. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Welcome home Toony Oony, I'm glad you had a good time away and your mum was OK in your absence.
     
  20. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    4,932
    East Sussex
    Welcome back @Toony Oony although seeing the weather, you are probably wishing you were still there. The post holiday laundry seems to take forever, not helped by the disappearance of the sunshine to dry it in hours

    I tried a nasal spray once, I didn’t feel like I had blocked sinuses, but apparently I had & they were causing inner ear issues ... might be worth a shot while you try for a doctor appointment. It always fascinated me that you can’t book an appointment with my doctor more than 2 weeks in advance, but they always want me to go back in a month. :( Mind you, I’ve also had the ridiculous situation of phoning, to be told there is nothing till next Thursday (a week away), but they refused to book for that date, saying I had to call at 08.00 the next day :eek:

    The car seems ok. It’s wider, higher & slighly longer than the old one. I have to keep telling myself to move slightly further to the left as I do drive to the middle of the road. The height is good for visibility & I'm getting better at parking. I’ve has one male car, eldest was at “that” age, where he thought it funny to climb in & say “home James” .. so the car became James. All others have been female. So far, a name has not been found :rolleyes: She’ll be Gerty or Berty at this rate :p

    The concertina file just simplified it. Although there is a tendency to only file the beginning of the alphabet, so every now & then, I pull out the “fattest” section & file that. It reduces the volume & looks like I’ve done lots more than I have :D

    Good that your mum survived without any mishaps in your absence, even noticing you looked better for your break. Hope the loss of eye baggage is maintained for a while :)
     

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