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Can I ... Should I?

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,020
I've not posted on here before @Sam Luvit, but I've been reading through your posts and am full of admiration for what you've done for your mother over the last few years. May she rest in peace and rise in glory.
As my mother in law always says now is the time to look after you.
 

Prudence9

Registered User
Oct 8, 2016
478
Been thinking of you all this morning Sam, how odd and quiet things will feel, mixed in with the relief for your Mum, no more pain and struggle, you, getting used to not having to check and fret.
I feel that you and your brother will always have that shared and very deep experience binding you closer now and while you will both go back to your lives they will be altered and your relationship much better.

You should be proud, look what you did!

Topping up the ((((((hug))))) bank with eiderdown-quality types, dive in each time you finish a phone call xxxxxxx
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
6,005
East Sussex
Thank you @DianeW it is a strange time. I’m clearing away drugs & washing sheets, but it seems a bit pointless. I need to do it, both because it has to be done & because I need to get back to “normal”, although I’m rudderless on an open sea right now

Pooch is sad, but he’s not whining, so that’s good. I think the funeral director was surprised when I picked up Pooch & took him into the lounge, so he could see Mum & say goodbye. I felt he needed to know she had passed, not be looking for her
 

Marnie63

Registered User
Dec 26, 2015
1,631
Hampshire
I'm sorry for your loss Sam, may your mum rest in peace now. Although probably not the strongest feeling right now, I'm sure in time the fact that you did what you did will give you peace and some level of satisfaction. That's what I'm hoping for myself, and it's all we can hope for in the grim world of dementia.

Look after yourself and, dare I say it, look forward to regaining some of your own life back, in time. Take care.
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
6,005
East Sussex
Thank you @DollyBird16 as the day goes on, I’m taking more hugs. I keep going back to her banging her shoulder & saying “pain” over & over, I wanted to scream at someone. So I’m trying to focus on her delight at a new hair cut just before this all went so wrong
 

doodle1

Registered User
May 11, 2012
248
So sorry Sam it's been a long hard road learning things we all wish we never had to. But at least you can say I did my best and your mum will have known that. Thinking of you and sending you more hugs
Jane xx
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,613
Kent
I would think having Pooch in the room with your mum is not that unusual and although this FD may have seemed surprised many would have seen this quite a few times in their job and viewed a much loved pet the same way as a family member coming to say goodbye.
 

imsoblue

Registered User
Feb 19, 2018
354
@Sam Luvit when I had some serious, painful days in my life (too many to care to count) I put something in my pocket to remind me of good times or might grant me a sense of peace. When I would get overwhelmed in grief or confusion and needed strength and clarity I would put my hand in my pocket and feel this object. Some days I had to make sure I wore something with pockets so I could have this object on me. I believe widows wear their husbands wedding ring around their neck and touch it some during the day to remind them of their loved one. Maybe there's something small that your mum had that you can slip in your pocket to remind you how much she loved you and how proud she is of you and your brother.
Virtual hugs also help so heres some for you too!
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,613
Kent
It will probably have been a strange day for you today Sam after the intense care and worry the last few weeks in particular. Hopefully you have been able to take Pooch for a lovely walk and to get some fresh air yourself.