Can I ... Should I?

[Earthgirl72]

Hi @Margi29



I’ve often though researchers could do worse than to read through a site like this & get “at the coal face” insight into what seems to help (paracetamol) & what effects (full moon) & maybe look at these things. I know, everyone is different & every progression is different, but there are similarities too. So many people talk of the onset following a shock, be it a death of a loved one or a fall resulting in breaks & operations, it has to be a factor. As for the meds that wouId knock out an elephant having no effect, but a parecetamol resulting in several hours sleep ... it sure makes me think
.

My dad's dementia is due to a stroke he had round about when my Mum died suddenly, nobody knew it had happened for a further 4 years. We are now keeping a very close eye on MIL after FIL passed on New Year's Day after a short illness. She's definitely showing memory problems but how much is down to grief - we don't know. Call me selfish, but with my dad the way he is, we really don't need that added complication!

I didn't know about the paracetamol helping sleep though.. *makes a note* So thank you!

 

[Earthgirl72]

Y

Yes those two raise my spirit, they are so funny. Although I catch myself saying sentences I used for my own children, and mum used on us as children

I do find that sometimes I open my mouth and my mum comes out! I'm the same, both with my girls and my 4yo grandson, who I have later today - hence my not rushing about tidying now. I will do that afterwards!

 

[Margi29]

I do find that sometimes I open my mouth and my mum comes out! I'm the same, both with my girls and my 4yo grandson, who I have later today - hence my not rushing about tidying now. I will do that afterwards!

I say a lot of ' I love you to the moon and back ' and ' no sweets till after tea ', but the really old things come from my grandma, she used to say ' if, ifs and buts were apples and nuts you'd feed yourself, you greedy guts '
Or when attempting to make us go to bed ' up them dancers now ' ( stairs lol )
When going to sleep I always say ' goodnight god bless, make sure the bed bugs don't mess ' ( that's again from mum and grandma) it always got the comment of ' have we bed bugs ' ???

Yes, I agree leaving the tidying till later, because today I've cleaned again, and tomorrow evening we are having a sleepover of one elder grandson ( he is also four) and know the house will look wrecked by Saturday morning

 

[Margi29]

My friend calls it a 'disco nap', sounds far better than 'granny nap'! Whatever it is called, I have one most afternoons

I can easily have one every afternoon, if the possibility arises just half hour or one hour at least means I will stay awake till ten

It's the night shifts that mess my body clock up, not just at mums but at work.
Thankfully this week I've not worked many nights, then I'm working Sunday during the day, finish at 8 get home, washed changed and round to mums for night shift

 

[Sam Luvit]

Sam, you are one of the least useless people I have had the pleasure to know! (((hugs)))

Awww. Thank you @Slugsta

 

[Sam Luvit]

I find Mum is just more pleasant & nice to be around when the sun shines. She also sleeps in the sun a lot, but still sleeps at night. She just becomes more peaceful & is generally chatty & fun in the evenings.

Lol. @Margi29 im using mums phrases on her No pudding unless you eat your dinner

 

[Sam Luvit]

I didn't know about the paracetamol helping sleep though.. *makes a note* So thank you!

Hi @Earthgirl72

It’s not selfish, it’s survival. There is only so much you can take on & one Alzheimers sufferer is plenty

Paracetamol certainly works for my mum & ive read lots of threads where people have talked of giving one & getting a good nights sleep. I just figured it was worth trying & it worked

 

[Margi29]

I find Mum is just more pleasant & nice to be around when the sun shines. She also sleeps in the sun a lot, but still sleeps at night. She just becomes more peaceful & is generally chatty & fun in the evenings.

Lol. @Margi29 im using mums phrases on her No pudding unless you eat your dinner

 

[rosy18]

Just caught up Sam, I was amazed how terrific your Mum looked, what a difference her hair cut has made, I bet it will be so much easier for you to manage too.
I hope the therapy proves to be a positive experience for you and doesn't make you recall too many bad memories of your childhood. After reading all of the comments that have been posted by yourself and others I feel very blessed to have had such a great loving relationship with my Mum and Dad but I have to say Sam you should give yourself a huge pat on the back, despite not having had that loving relationship with your Mum you've turned out to be such a warm, caring, thoughtful.....I could go on....person. Your Mum is so so lucky to have you.
Margi I don't know where you get all your energy from, the way you juggle everything with your family,caring for your Mum and work!!!
For those who used to go on Jorgie's thread before her Mum passed away, I got to meet with her recently. She came to Blackpool with her SIL and came to see Mum and I. It was lovely to meet her and for the few hours she spent here it was like talking with an old friend. Seeing my Mum made her think of her Mum as there were a lot of simalarities which made the initial meeting quite emotional.
I have to say TP has brought three lovely people into my life, Sam, Margi and now Jorgie.
Well I'm going to get some sleep now, something which has been a little irregular atm with Mum so whilst she's sleeping I'll try and get some
So warm hugs to everyone on this thread x

 

[Slugsta]

Hope everyone got some decent sleep last night and that tempers are sweet today.

 

[Margi29]

Just caught up Sam, I was amazed how terrific your Mum looked, what a difference her hair cut has made, I bet it will be so much easier for you to manage too.
I hope the therapy proves to be a positive experience for you and doesn't make you recall too many bad memories of your childhood. After reading all of the comments that have been posted by yourself and others I feel very blessed to have had such a great loving relationship with my Mum and Dad but I have to say Sam you should give yourself a huge pat on the back, despite not having had that loving relationship with your Mum you've turned out to be such a warm, caring, thoughtful.....I could go on....person. Your Mum is so so lucky to have you.
Margi I don't know where you get all your energy from, the way you juggle everything with your family,caring for your Mum and work!!!
For those who used to go on Jorgie's thread before her Mum passed away, I got to meet with her recently. She came to Blackpool with her SIL and came to see Mum and I. It was lovely to meet her and for the few hours she spent here it was like talking with an old friend. Seeing my Mum made her think of her Mum as there were a lot of simalarities which made the initial meeting quite emotional.
I have to say TP has brought three lovely people into my life, Sam, Margi and now Jorgie.
Well I'm going to get some sleep now, something which has been a little irregular atm with Mum so whilst she's sleeping I'll try and get some
So warm hugs to everyone on this thread x

Lovely to hear from you @rosy18 , it was a pleasure meeting both you and @Sam Luvit , at least I can always put a face to a name now

 

[Margi29]

Hi all, wonders never cease !!!! My brother has found the laundry room at mums complex, he's actually going to take out the washing I put in today and put it in the dryer he's such a hero ( total absolute sarcasm on my part)

mum has only lived there 2 1/2 years and today when I asked him to dry the washing, he looked at me as if I'd just asked if he could climb Kilimanjaro then said ' I don't know where it is ' anyway his little sister has shown him lol.

He rang me, ' mum has no bananas, cream or lemonade, he has a car with him, it's his watch for two nights !!!
The shop is two minutes in the car, near mums and I am the one who went and got the shopping ( any words you think of please pop in !!! )

Finally mum has managed to totally destroy the fridge !!!! Scream, scream relax......

While at mums she also needed clean bedding on, she's not incontinent yet, but I change every week, he actually stood watching while I struggled in bedroom and had the normal fight with the quilt and cover !!! You can't fix stupid !!!

 

[Slugsta]

Margi, I would have been inclined to tell Bro to help rather than standing there 'with his thumb up his **m and his brain in neutral' as my manager used to say!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @rosy18

I think the last time Mum had short hair she was in her teens!! She ummmd & hrrrd for ages, but now she’s had it cut (8 inches off), she loves it & everyone is telling her how good it looks. It’s a quick fingers through & it’s done. Yay. I might not be saying the same thing after she washes it, but I think I might manage.

I’ve never tried to explain the feeling I have when things go really wrong, but now I have, I hope to be able to talk myself out of it next time, so maybe the therapy is going to help. I don’t blame my parents, I just don’t believe they had any maternal / paternal feelings, so just provided rather than nurtured. It’s just hard not to snap at Mum when she’s being vile, as it reminds me of earlier years & her almost indifference to us. I do envy you your close loving relationship with your mum. Thank you for your kind words “blushing”, I’m not sure you saw the real me lol. I’m not at all kind or caring when I’m sleep deprived or being moaned at

I want @Margi29 to bottle her energy & send me a container.

TP makes you feel like I know all these people & I know that meeting you & @Margi29 in Liverpool / Blackpool was like catching up with old friends. I hadn’t read or contributed much before Liverpool, so that was a bit different. It was the same in Ireland, meeting @LadyA, @2jays (&1jay), @HillyBilly & @Jinx, it’s just such a safe place to be. One day I hope to meet more, I’ve threatened driveways & flights lol

I do hope your mum settles into a better, more manageable sleep pattern soon, it’s so hard doing anything with broken sleep. Give her a hug from me

 

[Sam Luvit]

Sunshine here @Slugsta so Mum was happy ... until I went out for a few hours, then she was grumpy. I was helping my nephew, so she mellowed a bit after an hour or so ... not that she demanding of being front & centre or anything

 

[Sam Luvit]

Put the flags out @Margi29 to celebrate your big brothers achievement, wow at him finally getting the courage to enter the laundry room. You must be so proud if his courage

However, I am surprised at you expecting his to go to a shop himself. You do know that wouId mean him putting his hand in his pocket. Don’t be daft girl. That’s a step too far

How do you destroy a fridge? Just asking so I can protect ours I’m pretty sure Mum fiddles with the temperature on ours, but so far no real harm done, just the coke for my rum wasn’t that cold

 

[Sam Luvit]

Margi, I would have been inclined to tell Bro to help rather than standing there 'with his thumb up his **m and his brain in neutral' as my manager used to say!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Why is it that when I have to be somewhere the blooming Carer is late? Just to top it off ... yet another new one & frankly, she’s just not bothered

We had 9 carers last week (an improvement in 14, but still). This week it’s 11. Not even the same as last week, a few “new” ones. Honestly I don’t know whether to scream or cry

On Tuesday, they phoned the house phone (downstairs so no chance of hearing that) at 07.48 to tell me they were coming at 09.00 instead of 10.00

Blissfully unaware of the change I was just getting up, when knocking was heard. I opened the door to s complete stranger & very grumpily said “you’re not M & it’s not 10 O’clock”

I was soooo grumpy I phoned the office to complain & got a pathetic receptionist who told me I couldn’t talk to anyone as they were doing handover. (I’ll blooming hand them over). Apparently little miss delicate receptionist couldn’t handle me saying bliddy & was very upset (so I got told later). I was dripping in sarcasm as I calmly suggested she might manage to get S the co ordinator to call me when she was finished with handover (is that slang for coffee & chat time)

If I can muster up the energy, I will have to go to the office & see the manager. This is supposed to be easing my stress not increasing it

 

[Margi29]

Why is it that when I have to be somewhere the blooming Carer is late? Just to top it off ... yet another new one & frankly, she’s just not bothered

We had 9 carers last week (an improvement in 14, but still). This week it’s 11. Not even the same as last week, a few “new” ones. Honestly I don’t know whether to scream or cry

On Tuesday, they phoned the house phone (downstairs so no chance of hearing that) at 07.48 to tell me they were coming at 09.00 instead of 10.00

Blissfully unaware of the change I was just getting up, when knocking was heard. I opened the door to s complete stranger & very grumpily said “you’re not M & it’s not 10 O’clock”

I was soooo grumpy I phoned the office to complain & got a pathetic receptionist who told me I couldn’t talk to anyone as they were doing handover. (I’ll blooming hand them over). Apparently little miss delicate receptionist couldn’t handle me saying bliddy & was very upset (so I got told later). I was dripping in sarcasm as I calmly suggested she might manage to get S the co ordinator to call me when she was finished with handover (is that slang for coffee & chat time)

If I can muster up the energy, I will have to go to the office & see the manager. This is supposed to be easing my stress not increasing it

The amount of money you are paying for their service you would think after all this time someone would have mastered your requirements !!! If she was sensitive to you saying ' bliddy ' good job she didn't catch you on a really bad day

 

[Margi29]

Put the flags out @Margi29 to celebrate your big brothers achievement, wow at him finally getting the courage to enter the laundry room. You must be so proud if his courage

However, I am surprised at you expecting his to go to a shop himself. You do know that wouId mean him putting his hand in his pocket. Don’t be daft girl. That’s a step too far

How do you destroy a fridge? Just asking so I can protect ours I’m pretty sure Mum fiddles with the temperature on ours, but so far no real harm done, just the coke for my rum wasn’t that cold

She has messed with the dial now so much that's the fridge is warm !!! All food has gone off , scream scream
But in comparison to one of my oldest lovely friend who has just found out her daughter of thirty two has leukaemia, all my problems with mum are nothing x