Can I ... Should I?

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @Margi29

About a year ago someone did a question on here, what wouId you like, or what do you wish you could have. The answers were for time away, a spa weekend, a short break etc. It’s not much to ask for is it? One weekend every few months? Oh well, not going to happen in my lifetime :-(

Couldn’t sleep, so I’m up washed & dressed, I’ve moped the downstairs & am sitting quietly with coffee waiting on the Carer. It’s another cool & cloudy day, so if mums in another foul mood I’m done for :-(

She was teary & sorry as she went to bed, but that’s no indication of a good morning mood.

 

[canary]

Fingers crossed about your mums mood, Sam

After everything that has been happening recently, Im going out for the day on my own

 

[Earthgirl72]

Morning Sam, Margi and co.

I think I'd choose a weekend away from it. Not even actually away, but completely off duty. No calls, no worrying about whether he's tampered with the smoke alarms, or has tried to cook something, or whether he;s fallen again.. I can dream right?

It's going to be the great battle of the smoke alarms today. Apparently they keep going off at 3am. I don't know about that but they did go off last week. Called dad as per and he was just sat there listening to the alarms and chatting away. Went down, no fires - but worrying that dad didn't even seem perturbed. Well other than that they were noisy and disturbing his television time... *sigh*

Have the nice Fire Brigade man coming out this morning to check them all, reattach the under-sheet vibrating thingamijig that dad has seen fit to tamper with and hopefully persuade him that tampering with them is not a good idea.

Methinks it's going to be one of those days. I hope that all your days go well, and as hassle free as is possible in dementia-land x

 

[kindred]

Hi all

I would be completely blindsided by mum waving at people in bedroom @rosy18 , that is perhaps something for the future. I so wish more help was given to help carers looking after family, it's just not fair, and totally shameful.

Lovely to hear from you @Slugsta , normally I only work nights, this week was a one off, where it just fell bad on it been my watch on mum. I'm so glad she behaved

I'm hoping your mums improved through today @Sam Luvit , sorry I had to dash
If you get the chance to have some time away, grab it with both hands x

i so agree with you about more help given to us carers. It is shameful. What help would you like? (as a fantasy!!?).

 

[Slugsta]

Fingers crossed about your mums mood, Sam

After everything that has been happening recently, Im going out for the day on my own

You go Canary!!

Working 24/7, no regular time off and no pay. Isn't that called slavery?

 

[kindred]

I like that “dementia sucks” much more that the PC slogan @kindred I might have to see if I can get a car sticker to say just that

I was thinking of getting a sticker made up, the original “adventure before dementia”, but crossing out “before” & putting “with”, which is then crossed out & replaced with “after”. Always assuming I’m still capable of doing anything as exciting as driving by then

Oh I love it! Let me know if you do get a sticker made up with dementia sucks. Agree. One day, I tell myself, I will have an adventure again. My problem is, and I'd so love to hear from anyone else like this, that after four years of being all but a prisoner and never going more than two miles from my home, I am afraid of doing that. The very thought of going anywhere makes me feel quite ill with panic, even though Oh is now in specialist nursing home and being looked after well. I am keeping myself a prisoner. What can I do? Does anyone else feel this? Thank you.

 

[kindred]

You go Canary!!

Working 24/7, no regular time off and no pay. Isn't that called slavery?

Yup. It's also called a mugs game ...

 

[Margi29]

i so agree with you about more help given to us carers. It is shameful. What help would you like? (as a fantasy!!?).

In a fantasy world, I'd like all carers to be given a paid break away, either abroad or a lovely hotel near by them, the loved one looked after by someone who actually cares and not in it just for the pay. Every six to eight weeks would be very nice.

The reality is as someone said ( sorry can't remember who ) ss see family are looking after loved one, and hide that file in corner, ( PWD not problem) not a care in the world for the struggling all on this site have or had.

 

[Margi29]

Yup. It's also called a mugs game ...

Yes too right

 

[Margi29]

Morning Sam, Margi and co.

I think I'd choose a weekend away from it. Not even actually away, but completely off duty. No calls, no worrying about whether he's tampered with the smoke alarms, or has tried to cook something, or whether he;s fallen again.. I can dream right?
It's going to be the great battle of the smoke alarms today. Apparently they keep going off at 3am. I don't know about that but they did go off last week. Called dad as per and he was just sat there listening to the alarms and chatting away. Went down, no fires - but worrying that dad didn't even seem perturbed. Well other than that they were noisy and disturbing his television time... *sigh*

Have the nice Fire Brigade man coming out this morning to check them all, reattach the under-sheet vibrating thingamijig that dad has seen fit to tamper with and hopefully persuade him that tampering with them is not a good idea.

Methinks it's going to be one of those days. I hope that all your days go well, and as hassle free as is possible in dementia-land x

Hi @Earthgirl72
It would be lovely not to worry and be off duty. Even when I'm not with mum, I'm thinking off her. Was just the same with dad though, but then had a two hour panic rush drive down the motorway if anything was wrong.
At least now mum is a two minute drive around corner or a quick walk through a few snickets in ten minutes.
You've actually reminded me that my fire alarms need checking, so thank you for that

Sometimes I swear this dementia is making me forget things that should be done by myself

 

[Slugsta]

@kindred, I am sorry that you are struggling with this. Have you spoken to your GP about it? (((hugs)))

 

[Margi29]

Morning @Margi29

About a year ago someone did a question on here, what wouId you like, or what do you wish you could have. The answers were for time away, a spa weekend, a short break etc. It’s not much to ask for is it? One weekend every few months? Oh well, not going to happen in my lifetime :-(

Couldn’t sleep, so I’m up washed & dressed, I’ve moped the downstairs & am sitting quietly with coffee waiting on the Carer. It’s another cool & cloudy day, so if mums in another foul mood I’m done for :-(

She was teary & sorry as she went to bed, but that’s no indication of a good morning mood.

You can have a weekend anytime you like up here in sunny Yorkshire, just prompt your brother to maybe look in on your mum
Also I've been busy this morning, house cleaning done, ready for wrecking ball of 16 months tomorrow

 

[Sam Luvit]

Lol @canary I just told the Carer & left them to it. Mind you,I’d been moping & sorting for a few hours before she arrived so I wasn’t in the mood. Mum got stroppy, so I called out “I’m going for coffee” & went & hid lol

Mum spent most of the day asleep, I’ve weeded the garden, at least I feel like I’ve done something. I walked pooch this morning, but felt the need for more exercise so J & I walked to Tesco, I’ve hit 12,000 steps so far, so maybe I was just restless.

I often think of packing a picnic & parking up on the seafront, so far, I’ve only thought about doing it

 

[Sam Luvit]

Evening @Earthgirl72

I think I’d kill for a regular weekend off, just to get up when I feel like it, spend as long as I want in the shower, maybe spoil myself with a bubble bath (throw in a bottle of bubbly & I’d be in heaven)

A nice bit of eye candy if you are lucky. Although I think that’s as far as your luck might stretch so far as persuading a PWD to not fiddle. They are blooming fiddlers & always with the most “wrong” thing possible.

 

[Sam Luvit]

i so agree with you about more help given to us carers. It is shameful. What help would you like? (as a fantasy!!?).

Ok, so before I moved in with Mum I was ignorant, not a blooming clue, I’d heard from Mum as a nurse, that it was “a cruel disease”, but that didn’t tell me much. So, generally, I guess Jo Public is probably the same

I know now, that if I met a Carer, I wouId not be saying “ if you need anything, just ask”, no, I’d be saying “how about I come round every other Monday at 12 & you go out for 3 or 4 hours. Coz I know I wish someone would do that for me.

 

[Sam Luvit]

I used to know a man that can @kindred ... I will have a chat & see if I can get that sticker. I don’t know what part of the world you are in, or what it wouId cost without knowing a man that can, but glass companies do manifestation (the proper word for the stickers on glass to show the ignorant not to walk through glass walls). It might be worth asking a local company if they can do it. That’s what I’m going to do

I find it hard to go out without a reason. I have to shop. But that’s a race against the clock, so I sort if know what you mean.

I have to grit my teeth & tell myself I am going out. I can’t so far make myself go out & wonder around the shops as I feel guilty, but I did join a web site (helpful peeps) which is for people to ask for or offer help for free. It’s how I ended up painting a room. It can be anything from painting a room / garden fence, to weeding to just about anything.

I agreed to help someone, we met, she seemed normal & we had a laugh while sanding walls & painting. I’ve done a fair bit of DIY so was comfortable with that. I’ve also helped out where 2 of the people helping had to be shown how to hold a brush, so it’s not about being an expert

Maybe you could take a look at something like that. I taught someone how to use a sewing machine, someone else wants to know about some software I’m familiar with. It’s about offering help with something you are comfortable with. I’ve even made a few friends through it & found dog walking company lol

Just thoughts or suggestions.

Although pre dementia seems a long time ago, we all still have knowledge that others may value

 

[Sam Luvit]

The reality is as someone said ( sorry can't remember who ) ss see family are looking after loved one, and hide that file in corner, ( PWD not problem)

It was me, it was me

Oh for a regular break, without the stress of begging & bullying cover for the privilege of going away. Yes please.

 

[Sam Luvit]

I think brother is so much more in touch with my reality now, he did a week & was exhausted. He did 4-6 hours a day, so hardly my work day, but he wanted to strangle her on a regular basis

I phoned to scream about Mum on Sunday, I opened the call with “I need to rant”. His reply “what’s she done now”, so I think he understands

You do know it wouId most likely be “have Mum will travel”. I might leave her behind & do a midnight flit @Margi29

 

[Sam Luvit]

One positive (it’s an improvement on yesterday) ... Mum is in a much better mood. We’ve just shared a night cap & I've tucked her in. I did say it was like my eldest, when I used to tell him it was bedtime as mummy was tired. She giggled

We’ve had laughs, giggles & even a hug.

It doesn’t take much

 

[Slugsta]

I am glad you had a better day yesterday Sam and rally hope that today follows suit!