Totally understand @Slugsta, you’ve had other things on your mind
Please look after yourself, I only posted so you’d know we were thinking if you, not to add any pressureCan I ... Should I?
- Thread starter Sam Luvit
- Start date
Totally understand @Slugsta, you’ve had other things on your mind
Please look after yourself, I only posted so you’d know we were thinking if you, not to add any pressure
You must be absolutely exhausted @Slugsta, please try and get some well deserved rest, thinking of you x
Yesterday, was that only 24 hours ago? Anyway, I offered to help a friend in need, nothing major, just life throwing her a few curve balls as it does, so the half hour offered became five & a half & I was agreeing to do all sorts of things, making her calls, sorting things out, just to be able to take her home & get 5 minutes break
I didn’t get to go to work & I felt so guilty, I went in today to cover the job. I really didn’t have time to do that, but I felt I needed to. So, when I got in, I asked my boss, please to tell me, how do I say “no”without feeling guilty. He didn’t have an answer
I’ve taken a gamble & I'm going to take a week for myself, no social media, no helping anyone, no anything. I’m going to be very selfish & take a little time to sort my head out. I’m going to take long walks & read books. The GM can go take a long walk off a short pier.
Obviously, I’ll still be making sure Mum is ok, but big brother has been told to step up & he said he definitely will. I feel the need to take a step back & get others to do their bit.... a weeks not much to ask for really. But.....
No. GM, you can b()**er off
I wonder how long I’ll last
I didn’t get to go to work & I felt so guilty, I went in today to cover the job. I really didn’t have time to do that, but I felt I needed to. So, when I got in, I asked my boss, please to tell me, how do I say “no”without feeling guilty. He didn’t have an answer
I’ve taken a gamble & I'm going to take a week for myself, no social media, no helping anyone, no anything. I’m going to be very selfish & take a little time to sort my head out. I’m going to take long walks & read books. The GM can go take a long walk off a short pier.
Obviously, I’ll still be making sure Mum is ok, but big brother has been told to step up & he said he definitely will. I feel the need to take a step back & get others to do their bit.... a weeks not much to ask for really. But.....
No. GM, you can b()**er off
I wonder how long I’ll last
Hope you're OK @Sam Luvit
As to saying no, the word is short, and easily said, trouble is you're not at work and seen as available, "I'm really sorry but I just can't manage that today as I've promised mum xyz" seems the kindest way to let someone down, even if you just then go to the beach with a book, and let the GM walk off the pier.
As to saying no, the word is short, and easily said, trouble is you're not at work and seen as available, "I'm really sorry but I just can't manage that today as I've promised mum xyz" seems the kindest way to let someone down, even if you just then go to the beach with a book, and let the GM walk off the pier.
Wasn't it Terry Wogan who used to have 'fireworks on the radio'. It was a kind of joke I think where they ooo'd and ahh'd but there wasn't any noise! I'm not sure if they were actually watching something when the did it, or just made it up. I miss him on the radio, he was very entertaining. I won't say any more about fireworks as I shared my views on them on other threads!
Take time out, recharge your batteries and knickers to the guilt monsterYesterday, was that only 24 hours ago? Anyway, I offered to help a friend in need, nothing major, just life throwing her a few curve balls as it does, so the half hour offered became five & a half & I was agreeing to do all sorts of things, making her calls, sorting things out, just to be able to take her home & get 5 minutes break
I didn’t get to go to work & I felt so guilty, I went in today to cover the job. I really didn’t have time to do that, but I felt I needed to. So, when I got in, I asked my boss, please to tell me, how do I say “no”without feeling guilty. He didn’t have an answer
I’ve taken a gamble & I'm going to take a week for myself, no social media, no helping anyone, no anything. I’m going to be very selfish & take a little time to sort my head out. I’m going to take long walks & read books. The GM can go take a long walk off a short pier.
Obviously, I’ll still be making sure Mum is ok, but big brother has been told to step up & he said he definitely will. I feel the need to take a step back & get others to do their bit.... a weeks not much to ask for really. But.....
No. GM, you can b()**er off
I wonder how long I’ll last
Sam, you certainly deserve a week off (in fact, you deserve much more), I really hope you are able to do so.
I have got better at saying 'no' now that I have an excuse. My physical problems limit me and people seem to be more likely to accept that than other reasons. I'm not suggesting that this is right . . .
I have got better at saying 'no' now that I have an excuse. My physical problems limit me and people seem to be more likely to accept that than other reasons. I'm not suggesting that this is right . . .
Hi Margi,
I'm OK, thanks. Mum was never saw this flat so, when I am here, it is easy to pretend nothing has changed. Yes, things remind me at other times - I went shopping with my friend and seeing someone with a mug of hot chocolate topped with cream gave me a pang! At the moment I am relieved that it is over but I know other emotions will occur as time goes on. How are things with you and your mum?
I'm OK, thanks. Mum was never saw this flat so, when I am here, it is easy to pretend nothing has changed. Yes, things remind me at other times - I went shopping with my friend and seeing someone with a mug of hot chocolate topped with cream gave me a pang! At the moment I am relieved that it is over but I know other emotions will occur as time goes on. How are things with you and your mum?
HiYesterday, was that only 24 hours ago? Anyway, I offered to help a friend in need, nothing major, just life throwing her a few curve balls as it does, so the half hour offered became five & a half & I was agreeing to do all sorts of things, making her calls, sorting things out, just to be able to take her home & get 5 minutes break
I didn’t get to go to work & I felt so guilty, I went in today to cover the job. I really didn’t have time to do that, but I felt I needed to. So, when I got in, I asked my boss, please to tell me, how do I say “no”without feeling guilty. He didn’t have an answer
I’ve taken a gamble & I'm going to take a week for myself, no social media, no helping anyone, no anything. I’m going to be very selfish & take a little time to sort my head out. I’m going to take long walks & read books. The GM can go take a long walk off a short pier.
Obviously, I’ll still be making sure Mum is ok, but big brother has been told to step up & he said he definitely will. I feel the need to take a step back & get others to do their bit.... a weeks not much to ask for really. But.....
No. GM, you can b()**er off
I wonder how long I’ll last
Just checking in, how you doing? x
Yes it's those things that remind you of lost moments, and missing loved one x
I remember first Christmas after dad had died, I went shopping in supermarket and listening to the Christmas songs saw a forty something crying pushing her trolley along, I suspect the staff thought I was off my trolley
Also I have quickly learnt to bypass any cards saying ' dad ' in shops !!
My favourite cuppa is chocolate with cream and marshmallows on top, certainly not weight watchers x
Mum has been a nightmare, starting from tonight sister and myself are going alternate nights to give a sedative,
Mum has had her tv on at a ridiculous volume, another resident has been ill at the sheltered housing complex, her relatives have been staying overnight, they have complained to management.
I don't blame them, I would not be happy if someone in flat above mum had tv on at 85 volume at 3am.
The confabulations are coming even more bazaar!! Mum must have been watching the tv about a plane crash ?
Only went and told other residents plane had hit complex !!
Then the return of ' children ' in flat has popped its ugly head up again !!
In between, making up people are saying things that are not true, and the missing bank books ( have sorted now and keeping at mine)
Hide n seek with remote control.
It's the little things that pop up that are hard, memories will hit you, good and bad. I hope you get time for you now, maybe recharge those batteries, have a well deserved break somewhere nice ?? X
A quick edit on post
Mum said that my dad or oh dad has got the bank books ( oh dad dead too )
I smiled, tomorrow is another day x
Obviously, I’ll still be making sure Mum is ok, but big brother has been told to step up & he said he definitely will. I feel the need to take a step back & get others to do their bit.... a weeks not much to ask for really. But.....
I wonder how long I’ll last
I had to have several significant meltdowns and a social worker from Geriatric psychaitry had some chat with sister (Brother and SIL is a bit of a lost cause) about me having caregiver burnout and can they (sister and BIL) take mom for a few days to give me a break. This is the 2nd weekend (about every 2 weeks) that has happened and it is helping a bit.. Sister offered to do more but don't think she can handle the higher level of every week. In 2 weeks will try to actually go away for 3-4 days...
Morning everyone
Well, I packed a bag, sorted big brother & boarded a plane in 36 hours!! I phoned Mum every night, big brother visited twice for several hours & lovely J kept an eye out. I took Mum shopping for cake, biscuits, chocolates & sweeties before I left, all gone & more bought while I was away!
The volcanic island was ok, beaches were crowded & it was barely 20*, but no dementia. Unfortunately my travel companion failed to hear my statement that I can not walk far & fast. I was hobbling most, no every day :-(. I’ve also heard the word “I” more in the last 7 days than I’ve heard it in the last 7 months, if not 7 years.
Never again will I trust On The B***h, the 4* All Inclusive was 3 Keys / Quays (which is lower than 1*) & so many things were “extra”, TV (didn’t care), pool towels!!, tea & coffee in the room, bottled water, fan .... there were even notices telling guests to clear their rubbish. The free bus to a better beach wasn’t running & the attitude stank. You’ve been warned :-(
So, I’m glad to be back. Hot food. Friendly smiling people, even Mum was really pleased to see me. We went out for a steak last night. Today it’s back to normal life. I can’t believe I have to brave Tesco on a Saturday, but I can’t eat cake, so food shopping is essential
It’s presently a whopping 5*, it’s going to rise to 7* later!! Still, I’m glad to be back.
I’ve taken the dog for a 4K walk along the seafront, freezing cold, so warming up with coffee. I’m going to try to keep up the walking, although at my slower pace & broken into manageable stints
I’ve been doing my Physio exercises while away, so I need to step them up & hope to tone up & get a bit fitter. I could do with a partner in crime to motivate, but so far, no one is interested
Hope you are all doing as well as possible & I’ll catch up in a bit. Coffee is finished & I need more
Well, I packed a bag, sorted big brother & boarded a plane in 36 hours!! I phoned Mum every night, big brother visited twice for several hours & lovely J kept an eye out. I took Mum shopping for cake, biscuits, chocolates & sweeties before I left, all gone & more bought while I was away!
The volcanic island was ok, beaches were crowded & it was barely 20*, but no dementia. Unfortunately my travel companion failed to hear my statement that I can not walk far & fast. I was hobbling most, no every day :-(. I’ve also heard the word “I” more in the last 7 days than I’ve heard it in the last 7 months, if not 7 years.
Never again will I trust On The B***h, the 4* All Inclusive was 3 Keys / Quays (which is lower than 1*) & so many things were “extra”, TV (didn’t care), pool towels!!, tea & coffee in the room, bottled water, fan .... there were even notices telling guests to clear their rubbish. The free bus to a better beach wasn’t running & the attitude stank. You’ve been warned :-(
So, I’m glad to be back. Hot food. Friendly smiling people, even Mum was really pleased to see me. We went out for a steak last night. Today it’s back to normal life. I can’t believe I have to brave Tesco on a Saturday, but I can’t eat cake, so food shopping is essential
It’s presently a whopping 5*, it’s going to rise to 7* later!! Still, I’m glad to be back.
I’ve taken the dog for a 4K walk along the seafront, freezing cold, so warming up with coffee. I’m going to try to keep up the walking, although at my slower pace & broken into manageable stints
I’ve been doing my Physio exercises while away, so I need to step them up & hope to tone up & get a bit fitter. I could do with a partner in crime to motivate, but so far, no one is interested
Hope you are all doing as well as possible & I’ll catch up in a bit. Coffee is finished & I need more
Afternoon all,
Hi Sam and welcome home I'm glad that you were able to get away but very sad that your companion made things less enjoyable than they should have been Is this someone you have known for a while?
It sounds as if everything was OK while you were away, I hope that gives you the confidence to repeat it. What a shame you have to dive straight back in, rather than slowly getting acclimatised.
What a pity that you were not keen on the island - we will be visiting it at the end of January as part of a cruise P and O had to cancel a 50 cruise as Oriana needs dry dock, they have added in a couple of 12 nighters afterwards to try and recoup some of their costs. These extra cruises went on sale at 8am yesterday for a very good price. I went to aquagym and left hubby with the phone . . .
We have done this itinerary before but there is still lots to see - or we can stay on-board if we want to. We really did strike lucky with this (although I really feel for the people who had their 50er cancelled!). It won't be terribly hot, so I don't need to get a lot of new clothes, although there are a couple of things I would like to replace this season.
Hi Sam and welcome home
I'm glad that you were able to get away but very sad that your companion made things less enjoyable than they should have been Is this someone you have known for a while?It sounds as if everything was OK while you were away, I hope that gives you the confidence to repeat it. What a shame you have to dive straight back in, rather than slowly getting acclimatised.
What a pity that you were not keen on the island - we will be visiting it at the end of January as part of a cruise
P and O had to cancel a 50 cruise as Oriana needs dry dock, they have added in a couple of 12 nighters afterwards to try and recoup some of their costs. These extra cruises went on sale at 8am yesterday for a very good price. I went to aquagym and left hubby with the phone . . .We have done this itinerary before but there is still lots to see - or we can stay on-board if we want to. We really did strike lucky with this (although I really feel for the people who had their 50er cancelled!). It won't be terribly hot, so I don't need to get a lot of new clothes, although there are a couple of things I would like to replace this season.
Hi @Slugsta
I’ve known my travelling companion some 30 years, but we’ve not spent a lot of time together due to family, work & my moving away for 10 years, but I thought she was fundamentally the person I knew when we worked & played together. I guess some people change more than others
I was very blunt about my walking ability before booking, I guess she just didn’t hear me. Mum said I was too polite. It wasn’t all bad, we did chat a bit, but it was wearing hearing her moan every day about the hotel & how much she hated it, with me saying let’s just make the best of it.
The hotel was awful, if I’d booked a 1* I probably would have been impressed (not with the food mind), but the clientele, they were something else. I don’t understand a mum having a go at a toddler, because he’s having a tantrum about not being allowed to play with the phone. If you let the toddler play with the phone at home all the time, said toddler does not understand why he can’t just because there is a bit of sunshine & a very cold pool
Mum managed, it was only a week. I think I might have to limit future expeditions to short breaks rather than 14 glorious sun drenched days away. On the other hand ... I do have a brother & he did step up this time, so who knows
The island was ok, just crowded on the beach. I guess picking the best spot where the sun was likely to stay on us did mean others wanted the same area, but I was still surprised to find someone putting a towel down 2 feet from me a bit unnerving. I like my personal space.
Oh, pity I didn’t know earlier, I might have employed your hubby on the phone. Mum might agree to a cruise, Mum & dad did one most years, so it’s familiar & I love anything to do with the sea. I hope you got a great deal
I’ve known my travelling companion some 30 years, but we’ve not spent a lot of time together due to family, work & my moving away for 10 years, but I thought she was fundamentally the person I knew when we worked & played together. I guess some people change more than others
I was very blunt about my walking ability before booking, I guess she just didn’t hear me. Mum said I was too polite
. It wasn’t all bad, we did chat a bit, but it was wearing hearing her moan every day about the hotel & how much she hated it, with me saying let’s just make the best of it.The hotel was awful, if I’d booked a 1* I probably would have been impressed (not with the food mind), but the clientele
, they were something else. I don’t understand a mum having a go at a toddler, because he’s having a tantrum about not being allowed to play with the phone. If you let the toddler play with the phone at home all the time, said toddler does not understand why he can’t just because there is a bit of sunshine & a very cold pool Mum managed, it was only a week. I think I might have to limit future expeditions to short breaks rather than 14 glorious sun drenched days away. On the other hand ... I do have a brother & he did step up this time, so who knows
The island was ok, just crowded on the beach. I guess picking the best spot where the sun was likely to stay on us did mean others wanted the same area, but I was still surprised to find someone putting a towel down 2 feet from me a bit unnerving. I like my personal space.
Oh, pity I didn’t know earlier, I might have employed your hubby on the phone
. Mum might agree to a cruise, Mum & dad did one most years, so it’s familiar & I love anything to do with the sea. I hope you got a great deal
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Oh boy. I just looked at the price of cruises, obviously I had to look at Christmas & New Year
I think I need to lie down
I think I need to lie down
Evening all,
Sam, we got a very good price for the cruise. The cost of outside cabins has now gone up by 50% (and that is still less than the 'normal' fare) so we really were lucky
I have actually made a start on Christmas preparations! 2 gifts bought, which is 1/3 of my total this year I think. Hubby will cook and there is no tree, so it looks as if I will have little to do - something about which I have very mixed feelings! It is a long way from the days when we would have 14 for Christmas dinner.
Sam, we got a very good price for the cruise. The cost of outside cabins has now gone up by 50% (and that is still less than the 'normal' fare) so we really were lucky
I have actually made a start on Christmas preparations! 2 gifts bought, which is 1/3 of my total this year I think. Hubby will cook and there is no tree, so it looks as if I will have little to do - something about which I have very mixed feelings! It is a long way from the days when we would have 14 for Christmas dinner.
Lol @Slugsta, I’ve champagne taste & beer money, as my dad would say . Obviously I couldn’t really even afford steerage right now, but mums always gone on several holidays a year & I'm trying to find something she will do. The idea of a cruise we could climb on board & sail off is a good one, I’ll just have to do more research & look at different times than the holidays!!
Our Christmas is looking a little sad this year. Youngest wants to spend it with his new fiancé & eldest is in a messy on/off relationship, where the gf has not spoken to us for almost 2 years . I’m tempted to suggest driving off in the Motorhome & ignoring the whole thing. That’s if I can get it sorted in time .... I’m on the search for an indicator unit, which are like hens teeth :-(
I’d better get started on the “round robin” letter soon, as many will need to be posted first week of December. It’s a period of crossed fingers that no one has died this year without me knowing ☺️
. Obviously I couldn’t really even afford steerage right now, but mums always gone on several holidays a year & I'm trying to find something she will do. The idea of a cruise we could climb on board & sail off is a good one, I’ll just have to do more research & look at different times than the holidays!!Our Christmas is looking a little sad this year. Youngest wants to spend it with his new fiancé & eldest is in a messy on/off relationship, where the gf has not spoken to us for almost 2 years . I’m tempted to suggest driving off in the Motorhome & ignoring the whole thing. That’s if I can get it sorted in time .... I’m on the search for an indicator unit, which are like hens teeth :-(
I’d better get started on the “round robin” letter soon, as many will need to be posted first week of December. It’s a period of crossed fingers that no one has died this year without me knowing ☺️
