Can i scream now?

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
Hi everyone, i dont really have a point to make today i just feel a little down. I care for my mum who has had alzheimers for at least 8 years. Occasionally this horrid situation gets to me and i either want to cry or scream!!! But i also know that tomorrow i could feel better or different. Mum lives with us and goes to a day centre 4 times a week but when shes here shes either asleep in the chair or shouting( even if im in the room!). I feel life is passing me by and this is hard, so hard on me, my family and mum. Feel i cant cope much longer but tomorrows another day!. Sorry rant over. Thanks for listening x
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,008
Scotland
What are your chances for some respite care? Phone social services and ask for an assessment as you are at breaking point. When you begin making cries for help like this then you are probably entering the stage where outside care of some kind is needed.

Of course as you say yourself tomorrow can be a better day but as we all know in this illness there are a lot of "bad" days when we wonder how we will get through today.

Good wishes.
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
What are your chances for some respite care? Phone social services and ask for an assessment as you are at breaking point. When you begin making cries for help like this then you are probably entering the stage where outside care of some kind is needed.

Of course as you say yourself tomorrow can be a better day but as we all know in this illness there are a lot of "bad" days when we wonder how we will get through today.

Good wishes.
Thanks for reply. Mums not due rezpite for another 7 weeks or so ( we get 5 weeks a year). Think im just tired ( i work as a dinner lady so break up today ☺. Ialso look after my granddaughter after school every day) i wish i could stay in bed, with no responsibility sometimes! Ill be fine, just wanted to speak to people who understands x
 

Margaret79

Registered User
May 11, 2010
2,077
Wisbech, Cambridgeshire
I hear you Chelsea Girl and really get how you're feeling. MIL lives with us albeit in an annexe and not in our house but life revolves around her 24/7 365 days a year. Lots of times I get to where you are and just scream, either at my husband or whilst in the car or I come on here and rant :D:D

It feels as if we live life in a bubble of dementia and I can't even remember now what life pre dementia was like :(

I know that regular respite helps me now, at least I can look in the diary and see light at the end of the tunnel, if only for a week or so. Do you manage to get any respite? MIL also attends day care at the same home that she goes for respite and as much as they are very good and caring I just know that I wouldn't cope if we sent her there permanently.

I dust myself down after a screaming session and try to take each moment at a time and not let the bigger picture overwhelm me. Also I try to do something just for me every day, something small like have a soak in the bath, visiting the library to going away and leaving OH to it!

Sending hugs and strength xxx
 

IzzyJ

Registered User
Aug 23, 2015
86
Cotswolds
Just wanted to add sympathy and a virtual hug, knowing exactly how you feel in the bubble. Just take any 'me' time you can get, even five minutes to wander out and look at a clump of daffodils helps. I do know what you mean, particularly the shouting which does get you down. It's not a rant on here, people always understand.
 

heaven* help*us

Registered User
Feb 6, 2016
37
London , Uk
Hugs and prayers going up for you all. I understand the feeling of life passing you by. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and have had it for years. I really feel for you sweetie ♡
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
I hear you Chelsea Girl and really get how you're feeling. MIL lives with us albeit in an annexe and not in our house but life revolves around her 24/7 365 days a year. Lots of times I get to where you are and just scream, either at my husband or whilst in the car or I come on here and rant :D:D

It feels as if we live life in a bubble of dementia and I can't even remember now what life pre dementia was like :(

I know that regular respite helps me now, at least I can look in the diary and see light at the end of the tunnel, if only for a week or so. Do you manage to get any respite? MIL also attends day care at the same home that she goes for respite and as much as they are very good and caring I just know that I wouldn't cope if we sent her there permanently.

I dust myself down after a screaming session and try to take each moment at a time and not let the bigger picture overwhelm me. Also I try to do something just for me every day, something small like have a soak in the bath, visiting the library to going away and leaving OH to it!

Sending hugs and strength xxx
Thank you for the reply. I like to knit and am knitting aschool jumper for my granddaughter so got stuck in to that today ☺
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
Just wanted to add sympathy and a virtual hug, knowing exactly how you feel in the bubble. Just take any 'me' time you can get, even five minutes to wander out and look at a clump of daffodils helps. I do know what you mean, particularly the shouting which does get you down. It's not a rant on here, people always understand.
Thank you x
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
Hugs and prayers going up for you all. I understand the feeling of life passing you by. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and have had it for years. I really feel for you sweetie ♡
Feel a bit stronger now and calmer! Lol. Tomorrow is another day. nice to know you all understand. Have a lovely evening xx
 

hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
Hi Chelsea girl

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better now. Those days that drive you to screaming are really hard. I knit too and it's a real release. When my Dad is on a loop, I just try to keep my voice regulated and make something stripey!! I have been knitting for years, but my Mum always used to make the jumpers up for me, so I have only recently learned to do the neck band etc. Real sense of achievement!!

Keep smiling.

All the best

Heidi
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
Hi Chelsea girl

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better now. Those days that drive you to screaming are really hard. I knit too and it's a real release. When my Dad is on a loop, I just try to keep my voice regulated and make something stripey!! I have been knitting for years, but my Mum always used to make the jumpers up for me, so I have only recently learned to do the neck band etc. Real sense of achievement!!

Keep smiling.

All the best

Heidi
Thank u Heidi x