can i introduce myselfii

[bel]

i am 54 and my husband is 59 we have been married fo 36 years
2 years ago he finaly had to retire he was making lots of mistakes memory problems and as it was his own bussiness the complaints came straigt to him
he would be literaly in tears I DONT WANT TO WORK ANY MORE

 

[Norman]

Hi Bel
welcome to Talking Point.
Tell us more about your problem,you will find lots of advice and help here.
Norman

 

[KenC]

Try not to let it get to you.

Hi bel,
Wecome to Talking Point.
I know how your husband feels as I am in the same boat, but as well as us there are many others some younger and others older. It can be very bad to cope with when your younger as you probably loose your job and feel like me that you lost your respect. A few months ago I went to a conference at Newcastle which was run by people who have dementure for people with Dementure. The first thing they told me was that I was not alone, many people have these problems but you can never tell who has and who has'nt. We have to start again and try to carry on as best as possible. It is very easy to sit back and loose interest in life and sometimes hard to pick the pieces up and start again. There have been times when I have cried because I was an engineer and realised that I was forgetting things or getting things wrong that I have done for years. But I have a wife and daughter who keep telling me never to give in to it. Try to get help from your Doctor, then once you have a diagnoses you can take it from there. There are also a lot of local groups where you can get advise or just talk if you need to. Sometimes talking helps. Joining Talking point has given me an extra boost and I would recommend it to anyone.
Good luck and always remmember that there is always someone here to talk to.
Best Wishes
Ken

 

[daizee]

Hi Bel

Just want to say Hi, I'm 51 and my husband is 53 with advanced AD. He also ran his own business 7 years ago and also sat one day and said ' I just can't do this any more'.He told me how he kept having to recheck things over and over again and how unbareably frustating it got , and like your husband he had the responsibility if he got it wrong. He came from a poor and difficult background and the business which he built up himself, was to him the thing that proved his worth. Things got pretty difficult early on, and I'm ashamed to say I did a lot of 'poor me'. But as I look at him now so weak and helpless and realize how much he has lost and how much I still have I feel so small and so guilty.The thing is our marriage like most was not 'all roses' and I would start to think about the sacrifices I felt I had made to support him and his needs for so long, waiting for the time when everything would finally all work out the way we planned, to have time together so we could really get to know each other again. Well we certainly did get that time together , and I have had time to understand the sacrifices he had to make, and the rewards he will never get, the hardest part is now, after all we have been through over the past few years, even though he can't talk to me when he looks into my eyes,they are the same eyes I looked into so long ago when we were young and I feel such a deep love between us, much more ,than if we had gone on a few more holidays, out to a few more dinners,or spent a bit more money ,so in the middle of all the negative feeling that fly around , for us beautiful moments still happen .I hope they will for you...........................cheers

 

[jc141265]

Thanks for that little bit of beautiful

Daizee,

What you said touched my heart. I am so happy for you (for realising the love you have/had) and so sad for you (for realising the love you had/have).

Its nice to hear someone say something so wonderful about their husband...

I don't have words for it...but thank-you for posting that. <shrug>??