My father in law is in a care home - recently having moved from sheltered accommodation. And he's also been in and out of hospital. My husband has been very good at all the practical tasks associated with moving my father in law. He is also dutiful, visiting my father in law regularly. Though he keeps the visits short his manner to his father is patient. The difficulty I have is that I feel there is also an inner level on which he just cannot accept his father's dementia. He's angry and frustrated and I suppose that I pick up on it and find it hard to live with. I suppose there's a level on which he just wants his father to have the level of ability that he had months or years earlier. At one point in my youth I worked with people who have dementia - and I also spend time hanging out here. I think I am both more detached and more practical. For example, my husband was getting in a state because his older brother is visiting, but it's no longer really practical for my brother in law to take his Dad out for the day. (Partly because he is so frail and confused, and also my husband was worried about various practical problems - for example the steps on the ground floor of our house, if he comes here, and also about the practical and emotional issues that might arise if there was an incontinence-related accident.) Anyway I asked the staff at the care home when we both visited earlier today about a possible outing. They felt it might do him good as long as he went in a wheelchair. He can only walk a few steps unaided now. And as he now wears incontinence pads, as long as they changed him before hand they thought an outing to our house (which is only a mile away) would be feasible. I do think my husband is doing a great job on all sorts of levels. I suppose I just wish he didn't feel angry. Although I am an angry person in all sorts of ways, I think there is a level on which I am more accepting of the illness. Is there anything I can do that make his anger diminish? I do encourage him to do lots of the things he enjoys so that he doesn't feel too trapped by it all.