Can husband and wife be separated by LPA attorneys?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Lindajimbob, Nov 5, 2019.

  1. Lindajimbob

    Lindajimbob New member

    Nov 5, 2019
    1
    My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s five years ago. He has three “joint and severally” attorneys on both LPAs. Myself, his daughter and his son. At the time of setting up the LPAs we all got on really well but the relationship has deteriorated over the last two years. The time has come when I can no longer manage him at home and wish to put him in a local care home. However, the children want him to move to a home near to them which is a four hour drive away. They are saying that, should I place him in the local home, they will take legal action against me.

    Can they separate a husband and wife?
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,334
    Merseyside
    Welcome to DTP @Lindajimbob

    Thats really difficult. I think you’ll benefit from having a chat with our Helpline.


    National Dementia Helpline
    0300 222 11 22
    Our helpline advisers are here for you.
    Helpline opening hours:
    Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
    Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
    Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm


    Please keep posting here as you’ll get lots of support.
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,088
    Yorkshire
    hello @Lindajimbob
    a warm welcome from me too
    what a sad situation to face
    do have a chat with the advisors on the helpline
    personally, I doubt very much that the children would get far with such a case without incredibly strong evidence of mistreatment and proof you were not acting in your husband's best interests
    you are an Attorney and his wife, so have legal authority to manage his affairs
    unfortunately, though, there have been some cases on the forums of members with similar fears, so maybe also talk with Admiral Nurses as they are there to support the carer
     
  4. sausagedog

    sausagedog Registered User

    Aug 22, 2019
    42
    In all honesty, I doubt there is any ‘legal action’ they can take against you, in any case it wouldn’t be in your husbands ‘best interests’ to be moved a 4 hour drive away, when you’re the one who’s married to him, cared for him - it’s just awful to be ‘threatened’ in this way and especially by his kids when you have so much to deal with and think of. I would do what you have to do & if your husband has to go into a care home, you’re his ‘official’ next of kin. Once in a care home, he can’t just be up and moved anywhere else in an instant. Do ring the helpline given - you have much support on here
     
  5. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    180
    I hope the courts would support the status quo I.e. the care is currently provided by you
     
  6. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,861
    Female
    As all three of you are attorneys I don't see why their wishes would over rule yours unless there are factors we don't know about - call the helpline and see what they say. I would be tempted to go ahead with making the arrangements, move him to a care home placement you like, and then see what they do. All very stressful for you, and it doesn't sound as if they are thinking of his best interests.
     

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