Can daycare help hubby????

[littlegem]

Hi, hubby 65, stage 5/6 vascular dementia.
Mostly incontinent though can sometimes make it to the loo for a poo, needs feeding/washing/dressing. Sleeps 16/18 hours a day. Does not talk much or follow conversations if more than 1 person is speaking. Hates noise of any kind. Mobility very poor due to osteoarthritis of knees, severely sight impaired, has spatial neglect that all the professionals we have encountered do not understand; if there is no-one on his left side he just walks straight into things- doors/walls/people.
I take him out in the car most days for 2/3 hours but he just sits in the passenger seat, head on chest and not looking around or showing interest in anything.
At the moment he is not drinking enough so went Doctors who referred us to the mental health team. They have come up with day care.
I am not sure it will help with the drinking problem. their theory is that seeing other people drink will make him drink. We have been to several family do's/wakes etc etc and he still does not drink.
Does anyone here think that the day care will help him?

 

[Beate]

It's difficult to say whether the day centre carers will get him to drink any more than anyone else though they might have experience with this problem. I have certainly seen all kinds of people at the day centre, including people who don't speak and just snooze all day, so he wouldn't be out of place there.

The other question is: would day care help YOU get respite from the situation? In my mind, day care is just as much about the carer than about the caree, and if you are offered day care without having to ask for it, I'd say grab it with both hands and at least try it out. If it doesn't work for you, you can always cancel it again.

As for the not drinking, have you tried food with high water content, ice cream etc? Not drinking enough might lead to UTIs and other health problems so really isn't a good thing.

 

[littlegem]

It's difficult to say whether the day centre carers will get him to drink any more than anyone else though they might have experience with this problem. I have certainly seen all kinds of people at the day centre, including people who don't speak and just snooze all day, so he wouldn't be out of place there.

The other question is: would day care help YOU get respite from the situation? In my mind, day care is just as much about the carer than about the caree, and if you are offered day care without having to ask for it, I'd say grab it with both hands and at least try it out. If it doesn't work for you, you can always cancel it again.

As for the not drinking, have you tried food with high water content, ice cream etc? Not drinking enough might lead to UTIs and other health problems so really isn't a good thing.

Hi Beate, that's the conclusion I came to, that we are being offered day care more for my benefit as I only have 2x 2 1/2 hours a week off.
Of course I will try it, anything that will help. As for the food with water content diabetic nurse/docs/ have all been through his diet/drink and we cannot get him to drink or eat anything he does not want to. Oddly his eating is still relatively good if it's food he likes.
Thanks for reply

 

[Beate]

Does he not like any fruit or vegetables then? These are the ones with the highest water content of course: things like melon, strawberries, cucumber, lettuce, tomatoes.... The list goes on. There must be other suggestions for fluid intake and I am hoping someone with more knowledge will come by in a moment.

 

[canary]

Mum has developed a sweet tooth and loves things like jellies.
Think about what he likes to eat and see if there are things in that list with a high water content.

I have discovered that mum is much better at drinking if other people around her are drinking too, so you might find he does actually drink more at the day centre.

 

[Witzend]

Does he not like any fruit or vegetables then? These are the ones with the highest water content of course: things like melon, strawberries, cucumber, lettuce, tomatoes.... The list goes on. There must be other suggestions for fluid intake and I am hoping someone with more knowledge will come by in a moment.

Jelly is good if the person likes it, and comes in handy little pots. Tinned fruit is another one - people who are 'off' fresh fruit will often accept tinned. My mother's CH often give them tinned fruit with cream or custard - lots of liquid content - and I've noticed that even the poor eaters seem to enjoy it. There is also the aspect with the elderly that tinned fruit was often just an occasional treat when they were young, and if they're living in the past that'll be another reason to enjoy it.

 

[cragmaid]

Please don't think I'm being critical, 'cos I'm not but

I take him out in the car most days for 2/3 hours but he just sits in the passenger seat, head on chest and not looking around or showing interest in anything.

are these trips with a purpose or trips to go viewing the outside world?

A trip with a purpose might be coffee at a garden centre, a visit to the market, or to see friends or family but a trip with a view might be sit in the car, see the scenery from the car and then home again.
Like I say, I am really not criticising....but this cannot be doing you any good at all....no not Hubby, in this case I mean that you are making a chore for yourself that you are not enjoying. Your life is painful enough just now without boring yourself rigid.
If you and Hubby are getting pleasure from your trips....fine, carry on, but if you can start having happier trips out while he is at the Day Centre, you go for it girl.