Hi
@SaraZ, my circumstances are different to yours in as far as I cared for my husband after he was diagnosed with dementia aged 58. Naturally, he was already living in the family home, as were our son as daughter, so there wasn't the big shift that comes from moving someone into the family home to be cared for.
Was our world turned upside down as my husband's dementia progressed? Absolutely. Were we pushed to the limits of what we could cope with, left fretting about how much more we could take? Definitely. Was it rewarding? For myself and my son, undoubtedly - for my daughter, no - in fact 3.5yrs since my husband/their father passed away my daughter still struggles with her mental health as a result of what we faced.
All I can say for myself is that, for all the trials and tribulations along the way, I grew closer to my husband than I ever dreamed possible. I got to learn about the person he was before I came into his life, I got to meet what I call 'the child within' and through glimpses of that past I came to see how my husband became the person I knew - and I grew to love him even more. Amid the heartache there was also a lot of laughter and happiness along the way and I know that having him in the home with me made it far easier to keep an eye on how things were changing and to put things in place to keep him safe at home with us for as long as possible. I found it rewarding to see him happy and enjoying our family life, outings and activities (which he did, for the most part). Dementia can destroy relationships but in our case it definitely brought us closer - and that particular reward still brings me comfort today.
As for the parent/child relationship my son would say much the same as me. Don't get me wrong, he didn't come through this unscathed and even had to pull out of his university course for a year when the stress of our situation became too overwhelming at times. Despite that, he returned to uni, gained a Masters degree - all the while doing what he could at home to help me support his father. They became best buddies. In fact, after his father died my son told me that, looking back, he didn't regret a single moment of spending time with his dad and helping to care for him because, without the illness, he probably would not have come to know, understand and love his dad as much as he did.
As I said earlier, my daughter's experience was totally different. Watching her dad become more and more helpless, confused and (at times) aggressive, was more than she could deal with and she still lives with those feelings of trauma several years on.
So yes, caring for a loved one with dementia at home can be rewarding - but sometimes the price paid can be too much.
Whatever you decide to do in your personal situation, you will find a lot support and understanding here from others who are experiencing the roller-coaster life of dementia.