Can as remove person from pwd house

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by Nixnax1357, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. Nixnax1357

    Nixnax1357 New member

    Jun 12, 2018
    Hi all
    My father has Alzheimer's and lacks capacity,he's under safegaurding as his partner looks to have been abusing him and a case of neglect,it's looking more and more that something's wrong with the relationship ,but my father still in good physical health,eats well when given food ,dresses him self ect.
    But if the ss do decide he's at risk of harm will they remove him from his own house ?
    It's not the partners house she doesn't and never has contributed to house or utilities ,she's been asking for him to go into full time care,and had him assesed in a NHS funded hospital for 10 weeks they reported no problems other than not understanding information and well he doesn't make much sense.
    I just think it's morally wrong for him to move to care home,when he has family who would happily try to keep him at home,but the partner has become aggressive to us,stopped grandchildren (all adult age ) going slamming doors in their faces,the ss have admitted that if they had a magic wand she'd move out and family would move in ,but alas nothing's ever simple

    Any thoughts on this matter would be gratefully received
  2. Delphie

    Delphie Registered User

    Dec 14, 2011
    Hi Nixnax,

    I'll let you know what I think but it might be a good idea to get some legal advice on this too.

    So, my gut feeling is that as far as the house and the partner's presence in it, the same rules apply with or without your dad's Alzheimer's. If she doesn't have any legal right to live in the house then if the relationship is breaking down or has broken down she has to be the one to leave. If your father's behaviour is unacceptable, for whatever reason, she is the one moving out, not him. I really can't see how it can be any different, though how you get her out is another story and that's where I think some good legal advice might be useful.

    I would also press the social services to be a bit more proactive. Magic wands don't exist (unfortunately!) but best interest meetings do so if there is evidence of abuse she must be removed from his home, and there's no reason why the social services and the police can't help with that.

    But I'm left wondering about your dad's capacity. Is he judged to be well enough to be making his own decisions and if yes, does he want her there? I'm sure all of us know or know of people who make poor relationship choices and put up with all sorts. If capacity is there, it's their life, whatever our opinion. If he doesn't have capacity, however, then safeguarding really needs to kick in and soon. Sadly, I expect you'll have to make a bit of noise to get things moving but use phrases like 'vulnerable adult' and 'duty of care' when talking to 'the authorities'.

    You must be terribly concerned so my thoughts are with you. I hope you get a good outcome to this difficult situation.
  3. mumsgone

    mumsgone Registered User

    Dec 23, 2015
    Hi nixnax
    I totally concur with delphie you should get legal advice asap. Do any of you have keys so that you can stay in the house,this would hopefully curb the abuse! Power of attorney would help but can be longwinded. I would definitely start rattling cages. I would speak to your local police and air your concerns. Hope things improve for you and your dad best wishes xx
  4. Nixnax1357

    Nixnax1357 New member

    Jun 12, 2018
    Hi thanks for the reply,
    No father has been assessed has having no mental capacity,basically I feel this is all my fault ,this woman came into his life at a real low point for him ( my brother's death and a break up from a long term relationship with a nice lady ) with talk of an abusive husband,so he put her up until she got a flat,then a few months in she started saying she hated the flat and could she move back until somewhere more suitable came up and she would get a job ( apparently she's a carer?) Then money started to go missing,her daughter's would come drunk ect,so he asked her to leave ,oh and still no job,like care homes are not crying out for worker's,the next thing we knew she was having unexplained fits,the hospital couldn't find anything a miss ,but in the end they gave a diagnosis of epilepsy due to her symptoms and what my Dad had seen,then she said daughter's didn't care and would leave her,so my Dad who can only be described as a gentle soul let her stay,she doesn't get any out of work benefits because she has never worked and got no contributions and says my Dad gets to much for her to claim and he has to keep her .

    These last two years has been some strange goings on,he went from just leaving her too it,saying it's better than being on his own but carrying on as normal,to all of a sudden not seeing family as much,not seeing his friends or doing his hobbies,and I don't know how to describe it like a separation anxiety when he was away from her,which was strange as he really just lead his life and let her get on with hers?

    Then repeating thing's ,then he came to my house with a couple of years worth of bank statements ,saying all his money had gone,they was nothing but chargers ,now I know he gave her the cards and pins when he decided she was all of a sudden the bee's knees,so I told him it's who has your bank card's ,this was just before Christmas he'd tried to take his money out for his grandchildren,she'd also told him the banks didn't send statements no more which the bank told him we do (she has been getting them from the outside postbox)

    So when I didn't hear from him at Christmas I thought well ****** him ,he knows now what she's like,and he's decided to not bother with us so what can you do

    Then March the hospital calls me dad's in not been eating or taking his meds ( got an IBD and diabetes) lost a lot of weight ,she only got him medical care when hospital was enquiring about missed appointments,so ok the money forgot as long as his health is now being tracked.

    Go to his house he's got a black eye no cuts but apparently fell onto bed side cabinet,care nurse's said he doesn't fall out of bed his gross and fine motor skills have not been effected.

    Next thing I know he's been took to a home,for 10 week's she only visited 3 time's,best interest meeting,they said they have to treat them like man and wife,but safegaurding is up,he was home a day and she verbally attacked me for asking where his meds were ( they was a mess up with the care plan so I had to go over to give him meds at night while some paper work went in) and raised her hands at me.

    I've been going each day to change his stoma,but she's been making this difficult,and now she's told me he's no stoma bags left,after me telling her to order them ( she's got the order details and I'm not allowed to go through any of my dads things or she shows off upsetting dad which I don't want) she told me she'd ordered them and she'd got plenty,this was yesterday today a phone call saying he has none ,that's his dignity.

    Both bank's was shut while he was in secure unit as I ended up telling the banks both was used when he was in the chc home,the ss worker went with me the other day but she says there no bank statements ,he must have been throwing them yet he hasn't got the key for postbox and hasn't been home much since beginning of March.

    The emotional abuse is the worst though,his moods are connected to hers one minute she's all talking to him like he's a child with a load of I love you sss,next she's slamming things around marching out the house or shouting and balling.
    Just wish I'd stepped up sooner,but I've let him down
  5. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
  6. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    Perhaps you need legal advice? Good luck.
  7. Nixnax1357

    Nixnax1357 New member

    Jun 12, 2018
    Thanks yes I've got a key but her mood swings are upsetting dad so moving in would be a problem,ss says police won't do anything if no concrete evidence ? But looks like I'll have to get legal advise but that's going to be expensive I've just paid off my mortgage and used up my savings,
  8. concerned4

    concerned4 Registered User

    Jun 3, 2012
    Sorry to hear about your issues, having gone through a similar experience with a sibling, drawing on my experience.First port of call would be citizens advice & ask for advice, the Police will do nothing as it will be classed as a civil matter they will not get involved , should you have sufficient funds to do so ensure that the solicitors dealing with your case have trigger points for fees expended as getting hit with a final bill of over £15k without any warning is no fun, wish you all the best with your situation, it isn't easy but on a point of principle I couldn't walk away doing nothing for my dad, it wasn't an option for me, can you get legal aid (savings less than £8k) as going down the legal route is expensive (spent around £74k so far with no result) would say tread very carefully going down legal route. Sadly these situations are becoming more common by the day.

    All the best
  9. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    Don't blame yourself...sometimes these things go under the radar and gather momentum quickly. Also if your dad still had mental capacity at the early stage even as a gentle soul he may not have listened to you. Citizens advice and pethaps phone the dementia helpline on this need proper legal advice. However I don't have any knowledge of the legalities but if your father's house then she is not legally entitled to stay there if that is his wish. he isn't deemed to have mental capacity I would think he would need someone able to step in with legal authority as his advocate...assuming you and she do not have power of attorney...applying to the Court of Protection for deputyship may be an answer although it will take time. If you really feel that your dad is at serious risk from mental or physical abuse then document your evidence and refer back to SS urgently

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