Benefits of diagnosis
Many thanks for Amy for her reply.
It seemed so strange when I read your reply yesterday evening, that your words about l'iving life for the moment' were almost word for word the comments I had made to the OT and my partner that very afternoon.
The OT visits weekly and yesterday she had succeeded while to was out to get him to open up about his feelings. This was one of the rare occasions when he does become fully aware and open, but the down side is that he then fully realises his predicament and becomes very upset. He admits to being very fearful of the future, understandably so, but I think his anxiety is getting in the way of living life for now.
He is upset that he "can no longer drive, sometimes gags on his food, might make a mess while eating, might make a mess in the toilet, that I might not be in when he gets back from the day centre, that I might leave him"(I have never said that I would)etc etc. He is always saying that he is sorry and pleading with me not to hurt him (which of course I never do, nor have I ever done). I would guess that for at least 50% of his waking hours he is in an anxious state. Fortunately he has a prescription for tranquillizers, which I can give him when he gets too wound up. He is then much calmer but they do make his tired. When he is out and in other company however, he is distracted and can appear normal to those that do not know him or didn't know him before the illness. He can also be distracted and consequently calmer, when watching a play or film.
I cannot follow any interests that I may have, as he needs me with him all the time, as he is terrified to be alone. The only respite I get is when he is at the day centre, 2 hours from the OT and the sitting service, which will cost £12.50 an hour from April. His children take him out for 3/4 hours on a Saturday or Sunday; these are the times I catch up with friends and family.
I may book to go way when he is in respite in June, but this means going on my own, as everyone I know is working.
The reason we need a diagnosis, is that if it can be proved to be alzheimer's, he may be able to take Aricept, but if it is some other form of dementia, there is no treatment.
I'm rambling again. Many thanks for your interest, to coin a phrase "it helps to talk".