Hi all, I haven't been on TP much lately and the last time I off loaded with a moaning session everyone was great so I hope you can help again. My mum was diagnosed with AD about 11 years ago, thankfully it has been a slow process and she is probably only showing signs of the middle stages now. She is still able to live reasonably independantly but really could do with more care. I am her main carer and her sole carer and have been even before AD came along, she suffered from very bad depression before that and relied on me, so all in all I have been caring for her from I was 15, I am now 35. I have one brother and 5 sisters, all but one of the family live within 5 minute walking distance of my mums. And its the same old story, they dont want to know. One sis does her best but she has her own demons to battle with, two sisters take absolutely nothing to do with my mum and have stated they never will, the other sis is about as reliable as an ash tray on a motor bike, and my brother calls once a week to be the wee son!! Ok, i will get to the point. I am planning to get married next year to an absolute Saint, only problem is, this saint lives in Belgium, and has his own business over there. I made the painful decision to move and told my family praying that they would pull together and take some responsibility, of course they didn't and now the family is at war. My mum's care manager assures me I am doing the right thing and that she has people on her books that are living in their own home and are at a greater risk than my mum and manage ok. I am planning on putting in private care as much as can be afforded but at the end of the day the only person my mum wants is me. It would take too long to tell you how incredible that need is from her for me, and she can be very manipulative, always has been. It has always been suffocating and has been the main cause of me still being single at 35!! I love her to bits and its my own fault for making her so reliant on me but to be brutally honest I want out, I want to run away and never be seen again. My Fiance is truly an amazing man and has changed my life for the better and I dont want to lose him but how can i leave my mum when I know that she will be neglected. I hate my sisters for what they are doing and feel so angry all the time, too angry sometimes, its not healthy. I am supposed to be leaving for Belgium in 4 months and I am truly torn, confused and distressed by the whole thing. Sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep and never waken because I feel that is the only time I will ever escape from the nightmare I am in. I have even toyed with the thought of taking her to Belgium with me but then it really would be me looking after her 24 hours a day....god that sounds so selfish, I feel I am no better than my so called family. I am sorry for rambling on, and I am not looking for everyone to tell me that I am right to be doing what I am doing because I have my friends telling me that, it doesnt make the decision any easier. What I would like to know is, has anybody else been in a similar situation.........not as in running off to Belgium but as them being the main carer and leaving their role and how they coped, or just any comments that people can give me, even better, does anyone have a solution!! I know, thats asking for a miracle, or just ideas in general. By the way, my plan A is to come back every month for a week. Or has anyone taken a loved one to another country to live with them? Ok I will shut up now. Thanks everyone for listening. Tressa.