My uncle recently died and Aunt has undiagnosed dementia, she has now been referred to memory clinic. Not long before he died my uncle sorted POA for both of them for their health, naming me, but POA for finances had not been updated (aunt & uncle were each others) – their solicitors say it has been an oversight that they didn’t update it. My uncle told his palliative nurse before he died that he had handed finances and everything over to me to look after, and he was a very thorough person so I’m sure it has just been an oversight. I am an executor of both their wills.
My aunt initially went into respite care a week after my uncle went into hospital (he died the week after that). She constantly asked to go home so I arranged some private care, social services care and I was going to stay with her too a few times a week, but day took her home she had a fall and I realised it was just not safe enough at home for her, so following discharge from hospital she has gone into another really nice care home.
I did have an appointment at her bank about arranging a third party mandate but had to cancel this after her fall as she’s not walking very well at the moment. They said I could take forms in and they could speak to her on the phone but think she is better seeing them in person, she seems more confused on the phone. Until her fall she was very physically able and was able to wash, dress etc
Aunts social worker and nurse at memory clinic said still ok to go for POA, but, during a very short 5 minute appointment, during which my aunt just cried and talked about my uncle, her gp refused to sign POA, (she had signed poa for health for my aunt two months previously without seeing her). She is in the EMI part of a care home, but they have said they think she would be better in the general side so are looking to move her there. Don’t have money to apply for COP. When I try to talk to her about finances she is not interested and just says she will leave it to me to sort, my uncle looked after everything. If I went through everything with her and tried to explain everything to her – would it be wrong to get her to sign cheques and direct debits to pay her bills? I know she would do this and I am keeping track of all expenses if every questioned. I have paid some bills myself and am out of pocket by a few hundred pounds now so can’t keep doing that. The first payment for her care home will be due in 4 weeks. Don’t want to do anything morally or legally wrong, just want to make sure she is looked after properly.
I know I will eventually have to apply for COP but just don’t have the money for it. I know these rules are to protect people but I am honestly just trying to look after her and do the best I can and seem to be blocked every where I turn.
My aunt initially went into respite care a week after my uncle went into hospital (he died the week after that). She constantly asked to go home so I arranged some private care, social services care and I was going to stay with her too a few times a week, but day took her home she had a fall and I realised it was just not safe enough at home for her, so following discharge from hospital she has gone into another really nice care home.
I did have an appointment at her bank about arranging a third party mandate but had to cancel this after her fall as she’s not walking very well at the moment. They said I could take forms in and they could speak to her on the phone but think she is better seeing them in person, she seems more confused on the phone. Until her fall she was very physically able and was able to wash, dress etc
Aunts social worker and nurse at memory clinic said still ok to go for POA, but, during a very short 5 minute appointment, during which my aunt just cried and talked about my uncle, her gp refused to sign POA, (she had signed poa for health for my aunt two months previously without seeing her). She is in the EMI part of a care home, but they have said they think she would be better in the general side so are looking to move her there. Don’t have money to apply for COP. When I try to talk to her about finances she is not interested and just says she will leave it to me to sort, my uncle looked after everything. If I went through everything with her and tried to explain everything to her – would it be wrong to get her to sign cheques and direct debits to pay her bills? I know she would do this and I am keeping track of all expenses if every questioned. I have paid some bills myself and am out of pocket by a few hundred pounds now so can’t keep doing that. The first payment for her care home will be due in 4 weeks. Don’t want to do anything morally or legally wrong, just want to make sure she is looked after properly.
I know I will eventually have to apply for COP but just don’t have the money for it. I know these rules are to protect people but I am honestly just trying to look after her and do the best I can and seem to be blocked every where I turn.