I am relatively new to talking point and this is my first post. I'm hoping for some advice about my mum.
Our background is that mum and I have always shared a house. Mum has always been very stubborn and independent, she has never been able to see a view point other than her own and has always been a glass half full sort of person. In the last 12 months these traits have become much worse and the glass is no longer just half full, there’s also a crack in the side and a chip out of the rim.
In the last 6 months we have attended two memory clinic appointments are just about to attend a third. The first time we got no diagnosis as she walked out, the second they diagnosed a Mild Cognitive Impairment. During the second appointment she was as nice as pie to the consultant, giggling and telling him her memory was a little poor, but that was just her age and that she coped perfectly well on a daily basis. I disputed a lot of what she said and tried to get her to be a little more truthful, but she wouldn't open up. I do not feel he took on board what I said, though I don't exactly blame him as it was quite a performance she put on.
The third appointment is due soon and I've already been warned not to interfere and not to tell 'them' anything. If the appointment goes like last time there will be no opportunity to speak to the consultant without mum being present so the next appointment is likely to be difficult as I cannot keep quiet.
The situation is that mum's memory is terrible. Just today she asked me “who is the woman who keeps coming here?” it's my sister (her youngest daughter). She asked who those lads are who come too, her grandchildren (she only has two). Then she wanted to know what their names are, she said she hadn't a clue. Once I told her that she wanted to know if they were married, they are both still at school and too young, but she had no idea of their ages.
Mum seems to be living in the past, she thought her dad, who has been dead 50 years lived with us and confuses the house we live in now with one she left almost 60 years ago. She can do so many things for herself, like washing and dressing, but cannot retain information, we can leave the house to go shopping and 5 minutes down the road she cannot remember where we are going, or what we are going for.
On top of her memory mum has also become very verbally aggressive, her temper is unbelievable and flares up if she feels even the smallest bit slighted. She has taken to baring her teeth at me, clenching her fists and pushing her face in mine. Once she's in a temper she can sulk silently for hours. She has also become a bit obsessed with our living room gas fire, she keeps telling me she had no idea it ran on gas and frighteningly wanted to stir the coals whilst it was lit with a poker. She got angry when I wouldn’t let her have the poker and told me I pick on her over the slightest thing. Even though I explained she could blow the house up and the neighbours too she couldn’t see it wasn’t safe to do what she wanted, that recognition of what was dangerous just wasn’t there. The poker is now hidden and I’ve had to say it’s been lost as she still asks about it.
Can I ask would you consider my mum's behaviour to be mild? I’m really struggling to understand mild as a diagnosis. Sorry to have gone on and on, but any thoughts would be really appreciated.
Our background is that mum and I have always shared a house. Mum has always been very stubborn and independent, she has never been able to see a view point other than her own and has always been a glass half full sort of person. In the last 12 months these traits have become much worse and the glass is no longer just half full, there’s also a crack in the side and a chip out of the rim.
In the last 6 months we have attended two memory clinic appointments are just about to attend a third. The first time we got no diagnosis as she walked out, the second they diagnosed a Mild Cognitive Impairment. During the second appointment she was as nice as pie to the consultant, giggling and telling him her memory was a little poor, but that was just her age and that she coped perfectly well on a daily basis. I disputed a lot of what she said and tried to get her to be a little more truthful, but she wouldn't open up. I do not feel he took on board what I said, though I don't exactly blame him as it was quite a performance she put on.
The third appointment is due soon and I've already been warned not to interfere and not to tell 'them' anything. If the appointment goes like last time there will be no opportunity to speak to the consultant without mum being present so the next appointment is likely to be difficult as I cannot keep quiet.
The situation is that mum's memory is terrible. Just today she asked me “who is the woman who keeps coming here?” it's my sister (her youngest daughter). She asked who those lads are who come too, her grandchildren (she only has two). Then she wanted to know what their names are, she said she hadn't a clue. Once I told her that she wanted to know if they were married, they are both still at school and too young, but she had no idea of their ages.
Mum seems to be living in the past, she thought her dad, who has been dead 50 years lived with us and confuses the house we live in now with one she left almost 60 years ago. She can do so many things for herself, like washing and dressing, but cannot retain information, we can leave the house to go shopping and 5 minutes down the road she cannot remember where we are going, or what we are going for.
On top of her memory mum has also become very verbally aggressive, her temper is unbelievable and flares up if she feels even the smallest bit slighted. She has taken to baring her teeth at me, clenching her fists and pushing her face in mine. Once she's in a temper she can sulk silently for hours. She has also become a bit obsessed with our living room gas fire, she keeps telling me she had no idea it ran on gas and frighteningly wanted to stir the coals whilst it was lit with a poker. She got angry when I wouldn’t let her have the poker and told me I pick on her over the slightest thing. Even though I explained she could blow the house up and the neighbours too she couldn’t see it wasn’t safe to do what she wanted, that recognition of what was dangerous just wasn’t there. The poker is now hidden and I’ve had to say it’s been lost as she still asks about it.
Can I ask would you consider my mum's behaviour to be mild? I’m really struggling to understand mild as a diagnosis. Sorry to have gone on and on, but any thoughts would be really appreciated.