• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN?

Jan 18, 2020
4
From experience I would kindly offer .. Yes had a lot of "seen this before" scenarios in particular watching Live Sport .. "I knew he would score then ! .."
In truth it really doesn't matter … simply agree and never correct or argue with your Mum... it's her World that we may never understand .. let her believe what makes her feel comfortable and keeps her happy ! Good luck and best wishes
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,667
Merseyside
From experience I would kindly offer .. Yes had a lot of "seen this before" scenarios in particular watching Live Sport .. "I knew he would score then ! .."
In truth it really doesn't matter … simply agree and never correct or argue with your Mum... it's her World that we may never understand .. let her believe what makes her feel comfortable and keeps her happy ! Good luck and best wishes
Welcome to DTP @It’s Life Jim
 

Blueiris

New member
Nov 19, 2019
2
Sundowning its the time of day i dread most. You can never predict the scenario. Sometimes its ok but i have the same question every time at this hour. My partner wants to know where his deceased family are. I dont tell him anymore they are not with us but say they are out or on holiday. Today for example he wanted to argue that he had seen his brother even though i explained he was with me all day. Now im a liar . You just nod , smile and try and change the subject. Its heartbreaking living with a stranger
 

woodbank

Registered User
Mar 27, 2019
10
Sundowning its the time of day i dread most. You can never predict the scenario. Sometimes its ok but i have the same question every time at this hour. My partner wants to know where his deceased family are. I dont tell him anymore they are not with us but say they are out or on holiday. Today for example he wanted to argue that he had seen his brother even though i explained he was with me all day. Now im a liar . You just nod , smile and try and change the subject. Its heartbreaking living with a stranger
It is difficult feeling with repeated questions and answering each time as if it's the first time they have asked it. It is the PWD reacting to a change or a stressful situation. I find distraction works best. Sing a song you both know, look at old photos, or watch an old episode of a favourite comedy show. Anything to break the loop of questions. Experiment and see what triggers them and find things that break the cycle that your PWD enjoys. I'm sure others will come up with more ideas for you.
 

Lyn13

New member
Jan 20, 2019
4
I'm so glad I've read this thread. My mum has been telling me for a while that the tv shows are all repeats, even when it says 'new' on the guide. I knew it was odd behaviour but didnt realise it was dementia related.
My dad has Vascular dementia and alzheimers and mum is just starting the diagnosis process with the memory clinic. Their symptoms are very different so I know I have a steep and constant learning curve ahead, and a guide of recognising and naming the symptoms would be so handy.
Thanks everyone for the tips....I'm now going to look up sundowning.
 

Maisie1

Registered User
Dec 24, 2019
11
Same with dad, he's seen everything before and has been everywhere. He also recognises random people on TV as someone that he knew or used to work with or even went to sea with.

I never argue, just say 'Oh that's interesting dad' and let him carry on.
My mum was the same, it would have only distressed her if I corrected, so instead I’d say , “ok, don’t tell me the end” She was happy with this and would watch it (well dort if)
 

Anon33

Registered User
Jul 28, 2019
23
We have this symptom with my dad. In fact it was the first noticeable symptom we had and that was 12 years ago. It has played an enormous role in his and our lives. When I drive he has seen every car. If someone is driving fast or erratically that happened last time, or he always sees them. Mostly my answer is ‘up yes it’s a funny old world’. (My response satisfies him and me, it reminds me how crazy we all are!) Although admittedly if a driver has riled and then he goes on to tell me that it happened to me before and how the other driver seems to be always doing this, I admit I have to count to ten then. We always park next to the same car. Driving is challenging on busy roads anyway. It’s like always having to sing wheels on the bus on every car journey and sometimes you need to focus yourself.

It’s the same with t v and mum follows a soap opera so it’s always new, but he has always watched it. We are dismissive of that and agree all the story lines are very similar. Occasionally he will become determined to know if he has really seen it and can become very argumentative.

Some situations are impossible to dismiss. He thought I had put his meat in my freezer and came out look at the place where he put it. He told me a very realistic scenario where I put it in a lower drawer where It would be safe. When it wasn’t there I think he thought I had eaten it. When he loses things he creates scenarios of who has borrowed the items. This has caused a lot of confrontation.

Always best to avoid the confrontation as much as possible. He ends up getting upset. Saying he is funny in the head. Dad hasn’t got a formal diagnosis. I believe he has vascular dementia.
 

DebJW

New member
Jan 24, 2020
3
Hello
my 83 year old mother in law lives with us and diagnosed with Alzheimer's - she barely remembers 10 minutes ago but when we start watching a film she ALWAYS! says "I've seen this" - I can assure you that she would not have seen it as most are brand new films that have only been at the cinema and we watch them on Now TV (so sky movies) - example, watching a film last night and she was adamant it was on TV that morning (although she cant remember what happened) and was on a childrens channel (that she wouldn't be on!) - so what is this about?? anybody else have this or have an explanation?? sorry if its an inane question, just baffles me (I guess as many things do and will!) thank you ☺
How funny! I’ve just noticed that my Dad does this too and it drives me irrationally crazy! I have no answer other than to pay no attention, which is what I’m telling myself (even though I really just want to shout YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE IT’S ONLY JUST BEEN PUT ON!!!)
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
138
We are currently having problems with mum no longer recognising her own clothes. She insists they are rubbish from the charity shop, which my dad and I have put in the wardrobe and drawers because we got rid of all her good stuff behind her back. She is currently filling bin bags with all her perfectly good clothes then wanting to buy new things. Fortunately she is unable to go shopping either physically or on line, but the accusations on a constant loop are driving my poor dad nuts.
 

Don T

Registered User
Jun 28, 2017
9
Hi, I am of the opinion that it is about triggered responses. I notice that there are quite a few triggers that create a response and have seen my wife go through the motions of washing her hands even if it is a like a mime. The same might be occurring here, it was a frequent response of my wife to state she had seem something when the start of a programme was showing what happened last week, and therefore it became a habit and stock response.
 

Bolo

New member
Oct 5, 2017
8
We are currently having problems with mum no longer recognising her own clothes. She insists they are rubbish from the charity shop, which my dad and I have put in the wardrobe and drawers because we got rid of all her good stuff behind her back. She is currently filling bin bags with all her perfectly good clothes then wanting to buy new things. Fortunately she is unable to go shopping either physically or on line, but the accusations on a constant loop are driving my poor dad nuts.
When I put iron on labels to my mother’s clothes because she was going into respite for a couple of weeks I was worried my mother would object to the labels ( reminiscent of being a child). But amazingly she loves to see her name in her clothes- reassures her they are her own. UnlessI have a label in her clothes these days she doesn’t think they are hers. The labels are very reasonable to buy and iron on easily. This may help you.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
357
Apparently my Mum has been on holiday to pretty much every country in the world and the wine is always awful to drink! She got to far flung places in a couple of hours by car and once swum from New Zealand to Australia!
That would have been good to see as she cannot swim!

Every time I take her out in the car, she sees people she has seen before and usually make rude comments about their appearance!
Simon Reeve programme in South America, he was visiting a remote tribe hardly anyone sees - my partner had been there though!!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
We are currently having problems with mum no longer recognising her own clothes. She insists they are rubbish from the charity shop, which my dad and I have put in the wardrobe and drawers because we got rid of all her good stuff behind her back. She is currently filling bin bags with all her perfectly good clothes then wanting to buy new things. Fortunately she is unable to go shopping either physically or on line, but the accusations on a constant loop are driving my poor dad nuts.
Mum either would wear the same clothing in for weeks! Or would say she had nothing. Lots of her clothing went missing, but to be honest she had soo many!

I minimised the wardrobe space by clearing out into another room & now have replaced slowly her old clothes with new patterned & colourful items that are sale M&S & Sainsbury’s Tu clothing range. A more capsule wardrobe has been very positively recieved.
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
138
When I put iron on labels to my mother’s clothes because she was going into respite for a couple of weeks I was worried my mother would object to the labels ( reminiscent of being a child). But amazingly she loves to see her name in her clothes- reassures her they are her own. UnlessI have a label in her clothes these days she doesn’t think they are hers. The labels are very reasonable to buy and iron on easily. This may help you.
Thank you, @Bolo I will give that a try.