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Can a PWD be left on their own for short periods

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
187
Northamptonshire
SW told us they do not offer overnight care. She basically said they cant afford that, and only offer day time visits and wouldn't put mum in care home while ever she managed, they had to wait for a crisis to happen before put mum in a care home. While ever I was there looking after mum that probably wouldn't happen. I was told I should go home and turn my phone off and that if I did a crisis probably wouldn't be long happening. Though she said she could understand why I felt I couldn't do that as she wouldn't be able to. When mum asked what a crisis was she said an emergency like if the police picked you up in middle of night wandering streets, you set house on fire, or your neighbours complained about you putting them or yourself at risk. Sister looked at a couple of private care agencys and they cost around £20 an hour and nights are booked in 8-10 hour blocks so no way mum could afford that even if willing to pay.
Thank you for the info. It seems we are on our own, as Mum couldn't afford that at all. Her money would run out in a month. Mum already annoys her neighbours, and peole don't answer their doors anymore when they see its her, as she has no concept of day/night.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,287
The at-home care which SS offer is barely adequate, the maximum is usually 4 x 30 minutes, which is just helping the person wash, dress, and eat. So they would be alone for 22 hours a day, which for someone with dementia is very unlikely to work out well. The SW who saw my mother told me they can really only offer crisis care.
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,441
South of the Border
Hi there Maryjoan,

So there is no help for night time care at all, unless we pay? Oh no.
In that case we will have no alternative but to put Mum in a care home, because we are not able to do the night time care and do a full days work. I have to be in work at 7:30am each day, and dont get home until after 6pm. if I don't get my 8hrs sleep I cant function, as I'm permanently tired and not in the best of health. There is no one else we can ask, and we cant give up our jobs either, we still have a mortgage to pay for another 8yrs. We assumed there would be night time carers. oh dear.
My next door neighbour aged 86, does not have dementia, is a bright lady, but keeps falling over and hurting herself - I have rescued her 4 times.
She could have carers up to 4 times a day, but the last one left at 7pm and she was then alone until 9am the next day - too long - she was frightened. Her last fall saw her damaging her back and flooding the kitchen - she ended up in hospital and from there to a care home....... over night care in ones own home is hugely expensive if one is paying oneself....
 

MrsV

Registered User
Apr 16, 2018
187
Northamptonshire
My next door neighbour aged 86, does not have dementia, is a bright lady, but keeps falling over and hurting herself - I have rescued her 4 times.
She could have carers up to 4 times a day, but the last one left at 7pm and she was then alone until 9am the next day - too long - she was frightened. Her last fall saw her damaging her back and flooding the kitchen - she ended up in hospital and from there to a care home....... over night care in ones own home is hugely expensive if one is paying oneself....

Hello Maryjoan & Sirena,
Many thanks. Mum lives alone, and only has very little in her bank, well below the 14k mark. So hopefully she will be entitled to some sort of paid carers coming in. The night time is going to be a huge problem for us, as a family we just cannot do this, its impossible. Mum rings us all hours of the night saying shes lonely, and wants to go out looking for dad (who passed away 30 years ago).
When I went to visit Mum last night she opened the door and said 'Oh its you, its about time'! Your fathers not home from work again and YOU haven't shown your face for months' ! Yet I had spent the whole weekend with her, and Dad passed away 30yrs ago. Then came the verbal abuse and shouting at me, calling me allsorts, and saying your fathers got another woman, the neighbours have all seen her. Oh dear.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,287
MrsV, please contact Adult Services at SS and ask them for a needs assessment. By this stage your mother should be entitled to some help. Unfortunately if she tells the SW she does not want help, they won't force help on her. So partly it depends on whether your mother will accept their help.

There will come a stage when she will have a crisis along the lines of the one experienced by maryjoan's neighbour, which will result in her getting proper care in a CH. But it is worth trying to get SS involved before that point.