1. BETTY@BETFOX

    BETTY@BETFOX Registered User

    Jan 30, 2008
    5
    i have just got my "toddler" husband to bed after another day of verbal and near physical abuse. He has Picks dementia he is 71.

    He is very difficult to handle because he will not listen to me, just swears at me and raises his fist to hit me.

    The way I cope, and I hope it will help others, is that he has no idea of his illness, is in no pain, his actions now are not his, but the illness, he has left, When he gets too much I take minute in the bathroom or in the garden.:):)
    One can choose to be strong in this testing time and I know how hard it gets, or let it get you down then everyone suffers.
    Keep strong folks
     
  2. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Betty,

    You have my utmost respect and admiration.

    My husband is ill and has Alzheimers...but is not agressive or challenging...although he can be difficult.

    Love gigi xx
     
  3. mica123

    mica123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2008
    47
    england
    am so gad your coping,it doesn't take a star to cope.its a shiner that copes
     
  4. Valeria

    Valeria Registered User

    Sep 25, 2008
    23
    Staffordshire
    I do what you do...I walk away from Peter when he becomes irritated, take a deep breath and usually that works for me too.

    Although saying this, he is quite a placid man. He only gets aggressive when he is frustrated. Three years of this disease and I feel 85 years old opposed to 55 years. :(

    Every day is different heh!??

    Thank you for posting.

    Anya.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,130
    Kent
    Hello Betty

    I am full of admiration for you.
    My husband is not as challenging as yours seems to be but even though I know it is the illness and not the man, I still find it so difficult to remain in control.
     
  6. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Dear Betty

    I just wanted to say that I hope you find Talking Point helpful and maybe it can become a useful part of your coping strategy:)
    I registered with TP because I felt so alone with it all - I didn't realise I'd have he added bonus of people sharing their knowledge and experience which has been of great benefit to me.

    My husband has a Fronto Temperal Lobe dementia but he is not violent or aggressive. I take my hat off to you Betty because I can't imagine having to cope with that extra dimension to the disease.

    Love and best wishes
     
  7. sad nell

    sad nell Registered User

    Valeria

    Know what you mean about feeling 85 instead of 55. After 5 yearsof coping with this awful desease i have aged at a rapid rate, think it is just the constant stress and not having the happy care free life that only seems like yesterday, wrinkles , frown lines bags under the eyes and becoming a bore as this desease consumes me, dont blame friends for taking cover, mean while my Trev looks younger with not a wrinkle insight,think strangers might think i am the AD sufferer, just thank God i am not,will contend with the wrinlky look. I do yoga, pilates and pace endlessly along side Trev but still midriff expands, just going to remove all mirrors and live in denial. Pam
     
  8. BETTY@BETFOX

    BETTY@BETFOX Registered User

    Jan 30, 2008
    5
    IT IS GOOD TO KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS WHO UNDERSTAND JUST HOW IT IS
     
  9. Lanie

    Lanie Registered User

    Aug 31, 2008
    293
    Surrey
    Hi

    Glad your managing to stay strong, as it certainly isn't easy.
    Sorry for asking, but can you explain a bit about Picks dementia as it isn't one I have heard of before.

    Lanie
     
  10. BETTY@BETFOX

    BETTY@BETFOX Registered User

    Jan 30, 2008
    5
    what next?

    today my husband spent the day in a nursing home to allow me a much needed day to go hiking.
    He threatened the staff so it is doubtful if I will be allowed a repeat day..
    when I got him home he continued to be un co-operative , and verbally abusive. He wouldn't rest until late evening.
    Tomorrow is again unsure as to how to handle him?
    Another door shuts but hang on a window will open.;)
    To everyone who reads this and is in the same situation I want to offer the moral support and the fact if you need to talk or off load a problem I will listen and give assurance, you can do it,
     

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