Called to care home to deal with mother

Misstep

Registered User
Oct 7, 2015
59
0
South Wales
Does anyone have any experience of a care home calling them to go in to calm a parent down? I was surprised to be asked to do this.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,057
0
Salford
It doesn't happen often (where my wife is) but there are a couple of residents who can become aggressive and a relative is contacted, but whether they asked for this to happen if there was an issue I don't know.
It's an EMI nursing home so the staff are used to someone kicking off most days, quite often more than once a day.
If it is a care home or a residential home then I'd try to stay on side with the staff and work with them to find a solution, otherwise you could end up getting 28 days notice to move her, it happens all too often on here.
K
 

Rosnpton

Registered User
Mar 19, 2017
394
0
Northants
Hi
I've been summoned many times since mum went into care April last year.
Mainly because of falls-some of which meant trip to a and e,some not.
Mainly because she can be violent and aggressive .
When in residential we went through several escape bids. She would sit in reception with her 'treasures' in her bag(whatever was close at hand at the time she decided to leg it) with her walker in front of her. Every time the door opened she tried to get out. She wasn't quick enough,and she would only have got into the locked car park,but she did this day after day for a few weeks,and on several,occasions tried to hit whoever she felt was stopping her going.
I've also been called when she has thrown-luckily cold- tea towards a carer asking her to go into tea. Her aim was a bit off,but I had to go over.
It can be a nuicsence and a problem when at work,but they only call when they feel she or someone else could be at risk due to her actions.
To be honest,I'd rather go and be seen as willing,then not.
If I were on the other side,and maybe another visitor and I saw several staff trying to calm down/move/reason one small but vocal resident I would wonder why the fami,y weren't sent for.
Ros
 

Linbrusco

Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
1,694
0
Auckland...... New Zealand
I was called this week, asking me to go in to see if I could help obtain a urine sample from Mum and get her to eat or drink, as she had had nothing all day.
We have had a difficult week with Mum, refusing care, showering, dressing, eating,drinking,staying in her room, agitated, bordering agressive with staff & residents.....this is the way its been off and on for past 5 months.
They wanted to rule out a UTI, which shes already had 2 in the past 5 months, but she wouldnt cooperate one bit.
She refuses to use pads, and they have tried her with disposable underwear too.

Took me an hour of cajoling, and lieing, and being silly to make her laugh, but I managed to get a sample from her. Managed to get her to eat some of her meal, and drink some water.
Mums UTI test came back clear.
They had already tried her on Lorazepam, which first few weeks seemed to work, but then they upped the dose slightly as she was getting agitated again, and then she was falling asleep, and couldnt string a sentence together. They took her of Lorazepam, and increased her anti depressant. Seemed to work for 2 weeks alo, and now we are back to square one, so we have a review with Mental Health Nurse next week.
Mum is in residential secure dementia. Its my worst nightmare that Mum needs the equivalent of I think EMI in UK? We only have 2 places near to us. Neither of them, where we would like to see Mum spend her final days. :(
 
Last edited:

Misstep

Registered User
Oct 7, 2015
59
0
South Wales
Thanks for the replies

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. It's reassuring to know it's normal. I don't mind going, although I need to be a bit careful because I have health issues of my own. I went over, but it had been sorted out when I got there, so I didn't see her because I felt she'd kick off again if I did. Unfortunately, this has been interpreted has me 'not wanting to get involved', despite me saying I'd wait for the doctor (who had been called) to come and the nurse telling me I shouldn't as it might be all night and me asking to be called back if she kicked off again. I am very worried about her being removed from the home, which doesn't have an EMI unit
 

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