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Bye Bye Dad, you can "go home " now

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by katie1, Jun 19, 2015.

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  1. katie1

    katie1 Registered User

    Aug 5, 2014
    122
    Kendal Cumbria
    #1 katie1, Jun 19, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2015
    My lovely Daddy passed away just after midnight last night. He had been calm and happy in the nursing home that he was living in for the last 8 weeks, beginning to settle and joining in a few of the activities and enjoying going outside for walks. He was physically fit and active and could be humorous and a bit cheeky at times! He knew me and Mums names and gave us a lovely hug the other day. But yesterday evening as he was walking along the corridor, he slumped suddenly over to one side and collapsed. He was only semi conscious when the ambulance got there and the Nursing home staff did all they could. Me and Mum met him at the hospital and were by his side holding his hand and stroking his face as he passed away.
    He went through a stage of always asking to go home even when he was at home, I believe a common trait of many with dementias....well Dad, yes now you can go home, now you can rest.
    He was spared the indignities of the latter stages, he knew us, he was not incontinent, he could walk and could feed himself with prompting. I think it was for the best......although very very painfully sad
     
  2. ellejay

    ellejay Registered User

    Jan 28, 2011
    4,016
    Essex
    #2 ellejay, Jun 19, 2015
    I am so sorry Katie, thinking of you and your mum. Please accept my condolences x

    Lin x
     
  3. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,466
    leicester
    #3 nellbelles, Jun 19, 2015
    My condolences to you and your family, we are glad they are no longer fighting a difficult illness, but we miss them so much.

    Wishing you all strength for the coming days.
     
  4. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    #4 CollegeGirl, Jun 19, 2015
    I'm so very sorry to hear this Katie, please accept my condolences, although I can totally understand what you mean about him being spared the indignities of the later stages. I'm glad he was happy and settled in his last few weeks. Take care x
     
  5. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    #5 Kjn, Jun 19, 2015
    Sorry to hear your news Katie , now he is at peace , give yourself time now xxx
     
  6. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    5,643
    Hampshire
    #6 CeliaW, Jun 19, 2015
    My condolences Katie but so good you and your Mum were with him. Take care of yourselves xx
     
  7. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    255
    Norfolk
    #7 daisydi, Jun 19, 2015
    So sorry for your loss Katie but please take some comfort from the fact that he didn't suffer the horrible end stages this disease dishes out and that he passed with dignity with you and your mum. God bless your dad
     
  8. CCM2013

    CCM2013 Registered User

    Feb 7, 2013
    32
    London
    #8 CCM2013, Jun 19, 2015
    Aww sending big hugs to you - I lost my dad at beginning of May - and am finding all the Fathers Day cards and merchandise very upsetting, thinking of you at this difficult time.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,941
    Female
    Dundee
    #9 Izzy, Jun 19, 2015
    Oh Katie. How terribly sad. I'm so glad that you and your mum were with your dad as he passed away. Wishing you both strength. x
     
  10. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,942
    North East England
    #10 cragmaid, Jun 19, 2015
    Safe journey home, Katie's Dad......and my sympathy to you and your family Katie.x
     
  11. fredsnail

    fredsnail Registered User

    Dec 21, 2008
    649
    #11 fredsnail, Jun 19, 2015
    Sorry to hear of your loss Katie - I wish your Mum and you peace and strength for the days to come.
     
  12. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    #12 Gigglemore, Jun 19, 2015
    So sorry for the loss of your lovely Daddy. Wishing you and your Mum strength to support each other at this very sad time.
     
  13. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    #13 jan.s, Jun 20, 2015
    So sorry Katie for the loss of your Dad. I am thinking of you and your mum. X
     
  14. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    231
    Female
    NW England
    #14 brambles, Jun 20, 2015
    So very sorry Katie. Glad you were able to be with your dad at the end. x
     
  15. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    637
    #15 Tears Falling, Jun 20, 2015
    Sending my condolences to you and your mum. Pleased to read your dad was settled and that you were able to be with him at the end.
     
  16. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,643
    Scotland
    #16 reedysue, Jun 20, 2015
    So sorry to hear of your sad loss.
     
  17. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    839
    Fife Scotland
    #17 patsy56, Jun 20, 2015
    sorry to hear take care
     
  18. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,475
    London
    #18 nannylondon, Jun 20, 2015
    Sending my condolences to you and your mum xx
     
  19. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    Jul 10, 2011
    10,310
    Horsham, West Sussex
    #19 Dazmum, Jun 20, 2015
    I'm so sorry Katie,for you and your mum. I can completely understand what you say about your dad being spared the indignities, and he is now at peace. Thinking of you all xxx
     
  20. jimbo 111

    jimbo 111 Registered User

    Jan 23, 2009
    5,080
    North Bucks
    #20 jimbo 111, Jun 20, 2015
    Deepest Sympathy

    From the heart we share your grief
    jimbo
     
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