1. Welcome to Talking Point - an online community for everyone who is affected by dementia. Whether you have dementia or know someone who does, we will be there for you.

    Sign up to join the community, or Log in if you're already a member.

    If you need help using Talking Point, read our Help pages or contact us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk

  2. Hi everyone, Talking Point is back! We’ve updated the software in order to improve security, design, and the way the community works, and introduced some helpful features.

    Find out more

But ? What about The carers ?

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Norrms, Jan 16, 2017.

  1. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    Torquay Devon


    I sat there this morning, totally transfixed and immersed in what Elaine (my wife ) was telling me this morning about last nights happenings. I listened in horror as she told me how i was throwing my arms about , kicking and screaming like a man possessed, and how she had to restrain me , got hold of my hands and held me tight, at one point accidentally pulling my thumb back which is what brought me out of it, thank goodness. ( i have to say even if she had done it on purpose in wouldn't have blamed her as she is always in danger when his happens) but worse was yet to come............

    Within a couple of hours of settling back down, she says, at 2.30am i was running around the house, chasing people and shouting at them to get out!! I was kicking and punching at the air as if i was attacking hoards of people around me. It was so surreal listening to this as it was as if she was telling me about a film she had just watched, and not something that happened in real life. I looked at her as she explained it all to me, and i saw something i had`nt seen too many times before, i saw the fear in her eyes, the worry lines on her face, the tiredness in her movements and heard the sorrow in her voice, and then i thought?

    " This conversation must be happening / have happened millions of times all over the world ?


    What about YOU GUYS ?? the ones who has to deal with this day in day out ?
    The ones who have to clean up the mess afterwards?
    The ones who still have to carry on every day, without sufficient sleep ? Without help ? without Support ?

    What happens to YOU when YOU ARE tired, worn out and at your wits end?


    My dearest friends, i have no answer as to why you dont get the recognition you all so dearly deserve,

    I have no idea why there isn't enough put in place for the support you so desperately need,

    I have no idea why other people cannot understand why you do what you do ?? If the shoe was on the other foot i would do the same in a HEARTBEAT !!

    BUT !! What i do know is others, just like myself, *(And not JUST those with dementia , but ALL Disabled dependents)

    You will be FOREVER LOVED
    And you will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN !!!

    "Always in your shadow, but shining just as bright right next to you "

    Norrms Mc Namara
    Diagnosed with dementia aged just 50, now 59 years old


    Please share if you wish
  2. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    Thank you Norms. So sorry you are both going through this. It must be horrific to hear these things too and know you have put fear in your wife's eyes. What a living nightmare this disease is. Will be thinking of you.

    Sent from my SM-T813 using Talking Point mobile app
  3. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you xxxxxx
  4. irismary

    irismary Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    West Midlands
    Oh Norms, this brought tears to my eyes. Elaine is doing a brilliant job. As a carer there are times many times, when I feel unappreciated but I know my husband, if he knew, would appreciate what I do and if roles were reversed would do the same. Thank you for your kind thoughts. Best wishes to you both.
  5. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you Irismary xxxxxxxxxxxx
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Registered User

    Oct 29, 2014
    Sorry you had another very rough and scary night Norm. I doubt anyone really knows what it is like to have Dementia or to be a carer until it happens, but I know my C would do anything for me if roles were reversed.
    Best wishes to you and Elaine.
  7. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    East Sussex
  8. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    Hugs to you both, you must be exhausted after all that! I hope you have a better day today x
  9. Murper1

    Murper1 Registered User

    Jan 1, 2016
    Thank you for writing things like this down for someone like me to read. I look after my Mum who has FTD; she is unable to talk so I have to interpret her thoughts. I'm convinced she understands a lot of what is going on, and I wish she was able to write down her thoughts. Do please keep writing when you can. x
  10. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you

    Thank you all xxxxxxxx
  11. Haverton

    Haverton Registered User

    Sep 12, 2016
    Thank you norms for a very accurate and moving post. When it comes to the crunch the powers to be rely on our loved ones to care for us. As ever it comes down to finance so sadly the support they very much need is not available.
  12. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015

    An absolutely beautiful post Norrms. Thank you.

  13. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Share This Page