Just thought it might be worth sharing the good has come out of mum receiving a ‘buddying’ service ….
Twelve months ago she was very reluctant, and I - selfishly - tried to push her towards accepting help of any kind - companionship or on practical levels - without relying solely on me and mine …..
I have read here how people, understandably, can’t relax, find it difficult to cope with their loved one being cared for even briefly by others and try to understand how it may be different where a partner is concerned but thought it might be worth sharing …... as a non-full-time carer … but a working mum/carer the chance for even a few hours respite (just from the worry) not necessarily the physical ‘having to be there’ … the idea of having someone call in on mum for a few hours while I am at work … or be able (CRB checked, insured etc) to take her for a brief outing or to the local lunch club organised thru' (unnamed charity) was a welcome idea to me as a carer ….
In twelve months, mum has come not only to accept her ‘buddy’ and look forward to her visits ….. but has really enjoyed going to ‘out for lunch’ (10 -3 - mum was always a ‘lady who lunched’! ) …. and even a trip to another day centre (not specifically for dementia sufferers) ….. Even if she grumbles some of the activities ‘are not for her’ (bingo/charades etc) … she is so animated about her ventures out ….. and whilst essentially they are not, of course, independent, they ARE independent of me …… and has given us both some sense of mutual space …..
The stimulation she gets from either the buddy visits or her escorted ‘outings’ are clearly making a difference to her in terms of mood and alleviating depression and otherwise lack of social interaction other than 'putting up with me' ……. in environments where she does not feel challenged but secure …….
I appreciate mum is (still?) ‘early stages’ and this kind of support would not be beneficial to everyone, but thought it might be worthwhile to share some positive ……. and the good that has come out of it for both her and indeed me as an indirect result …….
Love, Karen, x
Twelve months ago she was very reluctant, and I - selfishly - tried to push her towards accepting help of any kind - companionship or on practical levels - without relying solely on me and mine …..
I have read here how people, understandably, can’t relax, find it difficult to cope with their loved one being cared for even briefly by others and try to understand how it may be different where a partner is concerned but thought it might be worth sharing …... as a non-full-time carer … but a working mum/carer the chance for even a few hours respite (just from the worry) not necessarily the physical ‘having to be there’ … the idea of having someone call in on mum for a few hours while I am at work … or be able (CRB checked, insured etc) to take her for a brief outing or to the local lunch club organised thru' (unnamed charity) was a welcome idea to me as a carer ….
In twelve months, mum has come not only to accept her ‘buddy’ and look forward to her visits ….. but has really enjoyed going to ‘out for lunch’ (10 -3 - mum was always a ‘lady who lunched’! ) …. and even a trip to another day centre (not specifically for dementia sufferers) ….. Even if she grumbles some of the activities ‘are not for her’ (bingo/charades etc) … she is so animated about her ventures out ….. and whilst essentially they are not, of course, independent, they ARE independent of me …… and has given us both some sense of mutual space …..
The stimulation she gets from either the buddy visits or her escorted ‘outings’ are clearly making a difference to her in terms of mood and alleviating depression and otherwise lack of social interaction other than 'putting up with me' ……. in environments where she does not feel challenged but secure …….
I appreciate mum is (still?) ‘early stages’ and this kind of support would not be beneficial to everyone, but thought it might be worthwhile to share some positive ……. and the good that has come out of it for both her and indeed me as an indirect result …….
Love, Karen, x