Hello, just wondered if anyone could advise? My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years back and has degenerated quickly this year. She is booked in for 3 days respite in two weeks but we will need permanent residential care for her soon as my dad is 89 and not coping any more with her care. They have never talked about her illness and no-one is broaching the subject of care homes with her, either short or l'term. I need to do this, as no one else will, I mean, we can't just drive her there and leave her! I feel so guilty already, but dad is up all night as she is doubly incontinent and resists washing, screams a lot etc. He's exhausted. How and when do I start this conversation? She'll forget it quickly, but surely we need to do this? Or do we just explain before we set out? We are visiting the home this weekend in advance of her respite. She's probably going to get completely distressed as she and my dad have never been apart since 1966. Please, any advice would be great. We weren't great communicators as a family, which doesn't help, but I don't want my mum scared and bewildered. I guess I just have to get on and tell her.