1. Flossie1

    Flossie1 Registered User

    Aug 31, 2006
    6
    I spent the morning with my mum, as Dad is away, and for the first time in ages, my children weren't with me.
    It was a real breakthrough, although I wasn't looking forward to going on my own!!!!
    For the first time, she finally acknowledged the fact that I knew she had AD, as she had been trying to hide it, and we had some quite positive conversations.
    She has been quite ill on Aricept, and so is going to try something else, but she wouldn't even have admitted that a couple of weeks ago.
    She is also beginning to realise her limitations, and it was one of those' windows' when she seems quite lucid, so we were able to sort a few things out. We even shared a tear or two!
    It was quit a nice morning in a strange way, but I now sit here in tears, as she seems to get further and further away from me, and I miss her.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Isn`t it better, Flossie when they know. At least you can share your sorrow, and your mother knows how much you care.

    I kept it from my husband for a while, but the time came when his behaviour was so unpredictable, he frightened himself. That was when I realized he should know.

    Now if there`s an incident, I can say, `Don`t worry, it`s not your fault, it`s the Alzheimers` and it seems to take the pressure off him.

    I hope the same applies to your mother. I know she was hiding it from you, rather than you hiding it from her, but the pressure will be off her as she`ll no longer have to pretend everything is fine.

    Take Care. Sylvia
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    How lovely :) thanks for shareing
     
  4. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Flossie
    I'm so glad you had that time with your mum...and now you both know you can face it together.......
    I wish I'd had that time with mine....Dad always kept it from her....thats not a criticism....he did what he thought was best....even keeping it from me and my brother ......I've told her since but sadly she's beyond the stage where she could understand what it means.......
    Oh yes..... how it hurts to see them moving further and further away.....but this morning you were able to share a wonderful closeness which you must hold on to.....and there will be more times ahead just like that......
    Take care
    love xx
     
  5. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi flossie

    I know how sad it feels when the ones we love seem to drift further out of reach.......... and your bound to miss your mum.

    Its good that she's come through the denial..............at least this way, when your mum is quite lucid, you can face it together and when she's not lucid at least you know that the real mum understood.

    She knows you care and that you'll be there for her and thats whats important.

    Love Alex x
     
  6. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello Flossie

    I spent the morning with my Mum too and know exactly what you mean by missing your Mum.........it hurts.

    She is in the later stages, has little speech and has long ago ceased to recognise anyone in a definite way, but this morning she looked straight at me when a fellow resident was being a bit loud and her look spoke volumes, I just knew what she may have been thinking.

    I know there is still something of her there inside that increasingly frail body and we still love each other, it is just a different relationship, thats all

    Make the most of every day you have while she is still relatively well.

    Kathleen
     
  7. Grandaughter 1

    Grandaughter 1 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2006
    141
    Hampshire
    Hi Flossie, try not to be sad as hard as it is.

    Admitting that she has Alzheimers is a big step so feel happy that you've had this time with her and had a chat.

    I know exactly what you mean about missing Mum. My Nan says the same thing about Grandad. She says he's not the man she married which is heartbreaking.

    Louise x
     

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