Breaking through the "No-Go" Zone

[Canadian Joanne]

I have just managed to do something I thought I never would. I washed my mother's genitals for the first time this weekend. She had peed in her diaper, was a little smelly & needed a change so I just went ahead & did it.

I know it sounds silly but it was my mother & I just could not do it before. It was definitely a no-go zone for me. Up till a month or so ago I could manage to talk her through washing her genitals herself & I would wash the rest if necessary. But she is declining so fast that it became clear that I would either have to wash her myself or have her stink of urine. I managed.

It truly is amazing what we can learn to do. Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

Joanne

 

[rummy]

Joanne,
I can totally understand !! That is something I haven't been able to bring myself to do yet. Last time I put her in a tub of bubble bath and hoped it would all just soak away! Then we got a home care person to come in which worked great. Now my Mom is in the hospital but will be out soon. A meeting has been called for Wednesday morning and it will be very interesting to hear what they say. Wish us luck !
I am encouraged by your post and perhaps I can do the deed if need be now.
take care,
Debbie

 

[Áine]

well done Joanne

Hi Joanne,

Well done. It's amazing what we can do when we have to isn't it? When dad started to get really ill with this about a year ago, I couldn't even wipe his mouth or give him a shave. Things (and people) change

hugs

Áine

 

[connie]

Well done. Aren't we all amazing..........we meet new challanges every day.

Everything is easier after the first time. Best wishes to all.

 

[mel]

Hi Joanne
This has crossed my mind so often!
We are at the stage where I can talk mum through it all....making sure she washes her "bits" while I supervise her in the shower....I know the time will come and I don't look forward to it at all...
In the early days I used to hate seeing her nude before getting into the bath (only because my old mum would have been embarrassed)so I know I've come a long way since then...at the moment a daily shower is a must...
So , thanks Joanne...I know when the time comes I can do it!!
Love
Wendy

 

[Margarita]

I must admit that its coming to the stage that sometime mum need help wiping her bum, when she ask me in the middle of the night I could not do it, because I did not have any glovers so told her to do her best & wait for the carer who come in to wash mum .who gave me a box of rubber gloves.

I use to wash mum privet part in the past ,but now have help of a carer that come in and I notices that she always wears rubber gloves .

yes well done Canadian Joanne

 

[May]

Hi Joanne and well done from me too. My Mum has just come out of hospital, and I have just crossed the 'can I really shower my Mum' line (had to be done as she seemed to have 'taken agin' males in hospital, and Dad thought this may cause him problems). I have done it, twice, since she came home as we don't have any help as yet(another long story) but must admit to wimping out and passing over a nice soapy sponge with the words 'Ok, now you wash your 'bits and bobs' and then using lashings of water to rinse off! You have my admiration for tackling the 'no-go zone'

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Thank you, everyone. I am really touched by your encouragement and praise.

At least my mother is in a nursing home, so it's only something I'll be doing once in a while. Yes, I still help her wash herself even though she's in a home. There were a few non-bathing periods but we would manage to get her washed at the sink. It must be the same in the UK - not really enough staff and the staff they have are very good but can only be in 3 places at a time. So when Mum's stinky or wet or has bad breath or whatever, I step in & do what I can.

Yes, Debbie, May, Wendy - you will be able to do so when the time comes. If I can do it, anybody can do. And as Connie says, it's easier after the first time.

If someone had told me 10 years ago that I would consider it a triumph for me to have washed my mother's "bits & bobs" I would have thought they were nuts. Live and learn.

 

[Nutty Nan]

Hidden strengths!

Canadian Joanne,
Well done! Your last paragraph seems like a cue for a song:

If they could see me now .......​

 

[connie]

I like the idea of "cue for a song" Nan.

Mine is "I'm just a girl who can't say no", when I think of the things I now have to do for Lionel, all done with love.