Breakdown in communication


Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
Morecambe, UK
The title of this thread refers to the communication between the social worker and the home help people (and me kind of) - or lack there-of.

Jean has been left alone this week, with Nancy being on holiday, and has had home help three times a day, supposedly to give her breakfast/get her up, then give her lunch (a small sandwich) and then give her dinner and evening pills.

Something has obviously gone amiss here between the social worker setting up the evening visit and the home help being told what it is for. The lunchtime help has been giving Jean a big evening meal and leaving her a sandwich for later and the evening help have arrived to find her in bed fully clothed. My guess is that in her head she has had her big meal and then at some point after decided it was therefore time to go to bed. When we visited she was in bed with the curtains drawn and the doors locked (with the key in the other side so it took ages for us to get in). On the occasions when she hasn't been in bed the evening help has tried to give her another big meal and she just won't eat it so that goes down as 'she is refusing to eat'!!

I feel like the people who are supposed to be looking after her are just making things worse!!!! :(



Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
You may be dealing to a certain extent with cultural expectations. Specifically the large meal at lunch time, small meal in the evening. This seems to be SOP in nursing homes, and also care agencies, so effectively, you are asking them to go against their normal procedures. Not much help, I know. The going to bed thing make be related to the meal, or it may simply be "I can't deal with this, I'm off to bed" which is my DM's normal way of dealing with anything stressful.