Looking for opinions and/or advice on the following:
Mum lives in a nursing home. She has Alzheimers, she is happy and chatty when we visit, but I understand from the carers that she increasingly spends time in her room and gets very upset as she misses dad (who died last year). She is declining food a lot and hardly eats at all - she has dropped about 30lb since Christmas. She is able to walk with a frame but gets out of breath and faint. Recently she has been diagnosed with cancer of the colon. The tumour has probably been there for a long time but has now been found after investigations re anaemia, discomfort, and the not eating issue. We are told that she lacks the capacity to legally consent to surgery and that (if she is deemed fit for an op) it will come down to a best interests decision. She herself is very gung-ho and keen to have an op - but I think her self-image is of a younger and fitter woman. She does not retain information easily - and forgets what the doctors have said immediately after it has been said. I worry that she would not be able to follow instructions in hospital, nor be able to provide them with information about her well-being.
My worry is that it would be a major operation and could leave her worse off than she is now both physically and mentally, and I think it would be better to go the palliative route and let nature take its course (quality of life over quantity). We don't know whether there has been any spread or not.
Does anyone have any opinion or advice they could offer me, anyone been through this situation? I don't want to lose mum but I also don't want what time she has left to be ruined. My thinking goes round in circles a bit and I don't know whether my fears are realistic.
Mum lives in a nursing home. She has Alzheimers, she is happy and chatty when we visit, but I understand from the carers that she increasingly spends time in her room and gets very upset as she misses dad (who died last year). She is declining food a lot and hardly eats at all - she has dropped about 30lb since Christmas. She is able to walk with a frame but gets out of breath and faint. Recently she has been diagnosed with cancer of the colon. The tumour has probably been there for a long time but has now been found after investigations re anaemia, discomfort, and the not eating issue. We are told that she lacks the capacity to legally consent to surgery and that (if she is deemed fit for an op) it will come down to a best interests decision. She herself is very gung-ho and keen to have an op - but I think her self-image is of a younger and fitter woman. She does not retain information easily - and forgets what the doctors have said immediately after it has been said. I worry that she would not be able to follow instructions in hospital, nor be able to provide them with information about her well-being.
My worry is that it would be a major operation and could leave her worse off than she is now both physically and mentally, and I think it would be better to go the palliative route and let nature take its course (quality of life over quantity). We don't know whether there has been any spread or not.
Does anyone have any opinion or advice they could offer me, anyone been through this situation? I don't want to lose mum but I also don't want what time she has left to be ruined. My thinking goes round in circles a bit and I don't know whether my fears are realistic.