I live in London, teach part time, help look after my grandson, live with my husband with both my grown up children nearby. My only sister lives in Germany and suffers from mental health issues.
My parents, both 86, live an hour away in Bury St Edmunds. My father has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia and is also registered blind. His deterioration is palpable, angry, refusing to get dressed, hoarding and hiding keys, locking doors and windows and has lost any ability to put his thought and speech into any logical sense. My mother has Alzheimer’s and is partially deaf( but will not use hearing aids). She is very stoical about her situation, saying they can cope. The reality is, they argue all the time, being unable to understand and manage each other’s needs, I manage all their affairs ( have power of attorney but my father is accusing me of misusing their money), arrange online shopping and visit weekly. Their ability to manage their home and selves is deteriorating rapidly but they refuse the idea of cleaner, extended care etc. A carer goes in for 30 mins a day to check medication has been taken but are ineffective beyond that.
My mum is becoming increasingly depressed, just eating and sleeping, my father more angry, distressed and agitated.
The issues with social care and health means support is vague and feel I am just left to get on with it. Both absolutely refuse respite care, extending carers coming in or entering a home. I am the one that gets the crisis calls from my father, with my mum saying ‘everything is fine ‘whilst holding back the tears. I am drowning ( as well as having weekly therapy, anti depressants, sleeping tablets and going to yoga,,!)
Please help....
My parents, both 86, live an hour away in Bury St Edmunds. My father has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia and is also registered blind. His deterioration is palpable, angry, refusing to get dressed, hoarding and hiding keys, locking doors and windows and has lost any ability to put his thought and speech into any logical sense. My mother has Alzheimer’s and is partially deaf( but will not use hearing aids). She is very stoical about her situation, saying they can cope. The reality is, they argue all the time, being unable to understand and manage each other’s needs, I manage all their affairs ( have power of attorney but my father is accusing me of misusing their money), arrange online shopping and visit weekly. Their ability to manage their home and selves is deteriorating rapidly but they refuse the idea of cleaner, extended care etc. A carer goes in for 30 mins a day to check medication has been taken but are ineffective beyond that.
My mum is becoming increasingly depressed, just eating and sleeping, my father more angry, distressed and agitated.
The issues with social care and health means support is vague and feel I am just left to get on with it. Both absolutely refuse respite care, extending carers coming in or entering a home. I am the one that gets the crisis calls from my father, with my mum saying ‘everything is fine ‘whilst holding back the tears. I am drowning ( as well as having weekly therapy, anti depressants, sleeping tablets and going to yoga,,!)
Please help....
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