I'd like to recommend a book called Letting Go Without Giving Up.
It's published by Alzheimer Scotland, and written by Jenny Henderson, who is an Alzscot worker based in Dumfries. She's now an acknowledged authority on palliative care, and runs courses all over England and Scotland. She's also been a huge personal support to me.
Three years ago Jenny was funded by a lottery grant to investigate palliative care for dementia sufferers, at home, in NHs, and in hospital, and to write a book.
It's about the feelings and emotions when people are having to be admitted to care homes, and is useful for both carers and care workers. She gave me a copy yesterday at the course, and I read it through last night. It's excellent.
It's not about choosing a care home, there's a separate publication for that, which I'm going to send for.
It costs £2.50, free if you're a carer in Scotland, and can be bought from the Alzscot website.
http://www.alzscot.org/downloads/pubslist.doc#_Toc105475542