This seems to be an increasingly common problem. I remember the problems that
@Ann Mac had trying to find a respite bed. .
Hi Sowmino, and welcome to TP
As Canary said, I was faced with this issue, about 3 years ago, when my Mum in law lived with us. I'd had a carers assessment, which strongly advised that I take 'regular' respite breaks, as Mil was very challenging. When we came to actually book respite though, there were no LA run homes in the area and not one of the privte homes offered respite. You could phone round and see if any of them happened to have a bed free at the time of phoning, but booking one in advance wasn't possible. Adult services passed me round from pillar to post, no straight answers, the councils website gave a link that led you to a list of private homes (none of which offered respite bookable in advance) and the CPN (community pyschiatric nurse) very bluntly told me that although adult/social services would not admit it, there were no respite facilities in the county - nor in the neighbouring two counties.
I fought - contacted MP's, AMP's, local councillors, the press - even phoned into radio 5live and challenged Norman Lamb, the then minister for health and social welfare, live on air, over this issue. Eventually, the council agreed to comission just ONE bed, for the whole county, to be available in a home that also offerred day care. 3 or 4 years on, that bed is still the only one available, and booked up months in advance. Despite the promises at the time, that more beds would be commissioned, if it was found that the first one was used, nothing has changed. My Mil is now in residential care, but only 2 weeks ago, a friend who's Dad has dementia contacted me for help, because her Mum (Dad's main carer) needs surgery - and they can't get respite for her to have the op and have time to recover. The one and only bed is booked up around 10 months in advance.
As individuals, we can all, I guess, fight like I did and hope we get somewhere - but the energy and stress that causes is often beyond carers who are already exhausted and stressed beyond belief. I really wish that the AZ society would make the fight for respite a priority and start a campaign to ensure that every carer , no matter where they live, has access to regular respite breaks - I honestly think it will take the backing of a huge organisation, like the AZ society, to get this issue actually dealt with. As it stands now, a lot of councils are claiming that by carrying out their 'carers assessments' they are meeting their duty of care, and are sliding out of actually ensuring that respite is avaiable
I hope your friendf can find somewhere xxxx