Hello all,
I've been quietly reading all your messages over the past few days with no time really to post or comment. Once again, as I read through various threads, I was amazed and touched at how many things were mentioned, stories shared, support given, feelings expressed. Much of what people have said rings true.
My lovely aunty had a second stroke last week ( the first one was some years ago, VD diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago) which, while it has not rendered her physically immobile, has taken away her eyesight. This, in combination with the increasing confusion, complete short-term memory loss, restlessness, wandering around, being disoriented, has put a new perspective on things. and not a nice one. I feel like kicking and screaming tonight, because that last little bit of "independence" has been wrecked....she used to enjoy watching the birds in the garden, look out of the window, see people, keep an eye on her surroundings even though the VD has been clouding her memory and orientation significantly.
My uncle (who has been brilliant!) and cousin have started looking into more care from outside, don't know at this stage if there's talk of a nh, the situation is still very fresh, and I'm feeling topsy-turvy, it hasn't sunk in yet. All of a sudden I'm realising what is suddenly gone....she can't see to dress and wash herself, she can't see the food on her plate, the sky outside, never mind the TV or the birds in the garden or the pictures in the paper...and oh yes....orientation in the house was getting difficult, but she could still see where the sofa and chairs and doors and windows were....all gone.
I have a visit scheduled for next week, but doN't know at this stage whether Uncle Harry will let me come, he'll need to get his head round hte new situation first. and he might well tell me to stay away and he doesn't feel up to having visitors. In which case I'll back off and try again later, no good putting him under pressure. Thank God he has help from his son and daughter in law, so he's not alone in this, whatever decision he will have to make in the end. I only have very basic information at this stage, am waiting for another phone call with more details. I don't know how aunty Jean is feeling, but imagine the loss of eyesight will render her totally confused and disorientated and very upset. Since disorientation and wandering round aimlessly had set in before this stroke, I imagine her ability to orientate is now completely gone anyway (have to find out about that tomorrow). I also don't know what her emotional state is like, but again can't imagine she's still got that "We'll get on with it and make the best of a bad situation" attitude which has helped her so much in the course of the years, and not only since she's been ill herself. I know from our regular little chats on the phone and through my uncle and cousin that she's been getting more and more upset and frustrated recently, there's been lots of crying and despair (understandably so).
Anyway, what I'm really after is some advice on how to deal with blindness in combination with confusion....I've never experienced this before and I hope I'll do the right thing instinctively when / if I get to see her. I hope to God she still recognises those around her (she has done so far). I've been playing through little scenarios in my head - talk a lot, explain, say what you can see, who you are, physical contact, touch hand or arm, talk to her directly, call her by her name. What can I do to help?? (I know I have to ask my uncle and cousin that).
I'd really, really appreciate any comments or advice anyone can pass on. Will look through the fact sheets again as well.
Thanks!
Tina
I've been quietly reading all your messages over the past few days with no time really to post or comment. Once again, as I read through various threads, I was amazed and touched at how many things were mentioned, stories shared, support given, feelings expressed. Much of what people have said rings true.
My lovely aunty had a second stroke last week ( the first one was some years ago, VD diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago) which, while it has not rendered her physically immobile, has taken away her eyesight. This, in combination with the increasing confusion, complete short-term memory loss, restlessness, wandering around, being disoriented, has put a new perspective on things. and not a nice one. I feel like kicking and screaming tonight, because that last little bit of "independence" has been wrecked....she used to enjoy watching the birds in the garden, look out of the window, see people, keep an eye on her surroundings even though the VD has been clouding her memory and orientation significantly.
My uncle (who has been brilliant!) and cousin have started looking into more care from outside, don't know at this stage if there's talk of a nh, the situation is still very fresh, and I'm feeling topsy-turvy, it hasn't sunk in yet. All of a sudden I'm realising what is suddenly gone....she can't see to dress and wash herself, she can't see the food on her plate, the sky outside, never mind the TV or the birds in the garden or the pictures in the paper...and oh yes....orientation in the house was getting difficult, but she could still see where the sofa and chairs and doors and windows were....all gone.
I have a visit scheduled for next week, but doN't know at this stage whether Uncle Harry will let me come, he'll need to get his head round hte new situation first. and he might well tell me to stay away and he doesn't feel up to having visitors. In which case I'll back off and try again later, no good putting him under pressure. Thank God he has help from his son and daughter in law, so he's not alone in this, whatever decision he will have to make in the end. I only have very basic information at this stage, am waiting for another phone call with more details. I don't know how aunty Jean is feeling, but imagine the loss of eyesight will render her totally confused and disorientated and very upset. Since disorientation and wandering round aimlessly had set in before this stroke, I imagine her ability to orientate is now completely gone anyway (have to find out about that tomorrow). I also don't know what her emotional state is like, but again can't imagine she's still got that "We'll get on with it and make the best of a bad situation" attitude which has helped her so much in the course of the years, and not only since she's been ill herself. I know from our regular little chats on the phone and through my uncle and cousin that she's been getting more and more upset and frustrated recently, there's been lots of crying and despair (understandably so).
Anyway, what I'm really after is some advice on how to deal with blindness in combination with confusion....I've never experienced this before and I hope I'll do the right thing instinctively when / if I get to see her. I hope to God she still recognises those around her (she has done so far). I've been playing through little scenarios in my head - talk a lot, explain, say what you can see, who you are, physical contact, touch hand or arm, talk to her directly, call her by her name. What can I do to help?? (I know I have to ask my uncle and cousin that).
I'd really, really appreciate any comments or advice anyone can pass on. Will look through the fact sheets again as well.
Thanks!
Tina
