Black Moods

[Selinacroft]

Dad has always been prone to black moods but they seem magnified sometimes at the moment. He always says when Drs ask about MH that he feels fine and is not depressed etc etc. He gets very grumpy and you really can't do right for doing wrong. You are either told off for ignoring him and he says no one stays with him, or that you talk to the dog and not to him. If you ask him if he wants a cup of tea, he will moan endlessly how that's all anyone asks him, but he won't talk about anything and sleeps all the time or watches rubbish on tv. Does he want to go out- no to cold, to dark .
Nothing comes out of his mouth that isn't a moan, winge, complaint or grumble. It gets very trying indeed to deal with.
When family helicopters turn up its all smiles and he's fine for the brief ten minutes they stick around
Moans about all carers whether any good or not, what's on tv, what he's being given to eat,
Anyone else got to deal with this- how do you keep positive?

 

[creativesarah]

I am going through a bit of a grumpy patch myself it's the frustration at not being able to do things the way I used too
Sorry I can't offer anygreat wisdom other than making sure you get some me time when you can

 

[RedLou]

My father whinged non-stop after the dementia took hold, and imagined all sorts of calamities that hadn't happened to moan about too, nor did he ever say thank you for my efforts. It's very trying.
The only way to deal with it is to remove yourself periodically and as much as you need, in my experience. IE Respite of some sort. If that's for a day or a week here and there. Tell the helicopters they're doing a full-day or a half-day, or whatever you need! You'll still get wound up. I've always prided myself on being mentally strong but I ended up having panic attacks despite trying to step back. *massive hug*

 

[Weather]

Dad has always been prone to black moods but they seem magnified sometimes at the moment. He always says when Drs ask about MH that he feels fine and is not depressed etc etc. He gets very grumpy and you really can't do right for doing wrong. You are either told off for ignoring him and he says no one stays with him, or that you talk to the dog and not to him. If you ask him if he wants a cup of tea, he will moan endlessly how that's all anyone asks him, but he won't talk about anything and sleeps all the time or watches rubbish on tv. Does he want to go out- no to cold, to dark .
Nothing comes out of his mouth that isn't a moan, winge, complaint or grumble. It gets very trying indeed to deal with.
When family helicopters turn up its all smiles and he's fine for the brief ten minutes they stick around
Moans about all carers whether any good or not, what's on tv, what he's being given to eat,
Anyone else got to deal with this- how do you keep positive?

Love the Helicopter term. It sums up my sibblings. My Mum is having one of those weeks. Cant decide if its just a normal mood swing or because we changed her kettle. Slightest change can really stress her. Doesnt need to be underlying cause she can just be vile some times. Its as if the worst parts of her personality are x100 some days. My brother and sister pop in when not got something better to do and she is all smiles. If they only could hear what she says about them when they go.
Only way to cope is to remove yourself from it. Recently I ve had to be firm with family that i ve made up reason I can not carer for mum on a particular day and they will have to do it so I can escape for a few hours.
Have you tried music? Sometimes playing some music from here dance hall days helps sooth and easier to distract her and lets her talk about her past distraction is such a blessing.
Hugs