• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Bizarre behaviour

sandlesf

New member
Jan 15, 2021
2
0
Hello everyone . I'm new to all of this and am finding it difficult to explain to people outside of my family how my husband is behaving.
Now it seems that he is getting UTIs more often. Latest one being diagnosed today after an extremely stressful and upsetting night and
morning. Last night he was begging me to kill him and this morning he wanted to commit suicide. I am very lucky that his Doctor is really supportive and quickly diagnosed another infection. How do I deal with his more and more bizarre behaviour ?
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
675
0
Welcome to DT. You will be able to raise specific behaviour problems here and it it pretty much certain that others will share their experiences. Unfortunately you won't be recommended any cured but there are lots of coping strategies out there. You are going to need a lot of patience, I fear.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
72,703
0
Kent
How do I deal with his more and more bizarre behaviour ?

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @sandlesf

I wouldn`t worry about trying to explain your husband`s behaviour to people outside the family. They are unlikely to understand how it is to live with someone with dementia, badly affected by UTIs.

The frequency of UTI`s is worrying. I have read on the forum of people being prescribed low dose antibiotics to be taken regularly. It might be worth asking your GP if this might help your husband.

This link might help.

 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
166
0
UTI's are a nightmare. Mum had a low dose antibiotic for some time, but this had to be changed when she had resistant bacteria. I also tried D-mannose powder, which is supposed to help with infections caused by e-coli, and lemon juice / bicarbonate of soda, as these change the pH of the urine - in theory making it a less desirable environment for the bacteria. Bacteria can also form biofilms, which, as I understand it, is like them retreating into a bunker, escaping the effects of antibiotiics - it might be worth asking your GP about this.
As for explaining the behaviours - I don't think you can really understand dementia unless you are actually living with it. Luckily, here on TP, you are amongst those who really do get it.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,102
0
I can cure a UTI by drinking two pints of water straight down. Each pint of water must have a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda stirred in.
This tip has most likely no value as it is not pleasant to do and would likely not receive compliance from a person with dementia.
I prefer the water to be a little bit warm, but it makes no difference really.

I am posting the link to compassionate communication, which may be of interest.

 

Angtrog

Registered User
Mar 25, 2020
101
0
I can cure a UTI by drinking two pints of water straight down. Each pint of water must have a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda stirred in.
This tip has most likely no value as it is not pleasant to do and would likely not receive compliance from a person with dementia.
I prefer the water to be a little bit warm, but it makes no difference really.

I am posting the link to compassionate communication, which may be of interest.

Hi @Weasell does this defo work as my OH has a lot of UTIs and I am sick of ring the drs telling them and I also feel a nuisance a lot of the time. Will try anything once.
 

angelict

Registered User
Jan 16, 2020
153
0
Hi @Weasell does this defo work as my OH has a lot of UTIs and I am sick of ring the drs telling them and I also feel a nuisance a lot of the time. Will try anything once.
If it's recurring UTI s it needs investigating please don't ever feel a nuisance to a gp my mum has had recurring UTI s and is now on a low grade antibiotic doesn't mean to say she won't still get them I've just used my instinct and I've had my fair share of gp calls paramedics and such like.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,102
0
Hi @Weasell does this defo work as my OH has a lot of UTIs and I am sick of ring the drs telling them and I also feel a nuisance a lot of the time. Will try anything once.
It works for me !
But you stare at the two pint glasses on the work surface and grit your teeth because it is surprisingly difficult to do.
I can go from blood to cured with this.
I can’t see any trade off ? It costs about 2 pence, and if it doesn’t work for you just go to the doctors as you would anyway.
I would say ‘enjoy’ but you won’t!
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
166
0
It works for me !
But you stare at the two pint glasses on the work surface and grit your teeth because it is surprisingly difficult to do.
I can go from blood to cured with this.
I can’t see any trade off ? It costs about 2 pence, and if it doesn’t work for you just go to the doctors as you would anyway.
I would say ‘enjoy’ but you won’t!
I wouldn't manage to get Mum to drink that quantity in one go, or plain water, but I put it in some squash, which she is happy to take. Not ideal admittedly, but I know that it increases the pH because I dip her urine. I try to get her to drink 4 or 5 glasses throughout the day, preferably over a couple of days, and it does seem to help. Certainly worth a try.
 

Weasell

Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
1,102
0
I wouldn't manage to get Mum to drink that quantity in one go, or plain water, but I put it in some squash, which she is happy to take. Not ideal admittedly, but I know that it increases the pH because I dip her urine. I try to get her to drink 4 or 5 glasses throughout the day, preferably over a couple of days, and it does seem to help. Certainly worth a try.
sorry!
Two pints in under 3 minutes ! That is my recipe!

But any raising the fluids is good!
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
264
0
Hi @sandlesf my OH has not had a UTI yet, but talks about suicide all the time, and mainly in the middle of the night, although he has mentioned to his son as well. He talks of wanting to die, ending it all, but not having the courage to do it. I don’t know what to say to him so I just give non committal answers.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
675
0
My mother said during the last care home visit that she wanted to be dead, which upset my father. She has said it before. We brushed it off. However it is ruthlessly logical for a person with no quality of life to feel that 92 years is quite enough so although we encourage her to be more positive she is not irrational. There is no danger of self- harm as she would not be capable of it. I think noncommittal answers @Thethirdmrsc are the right approach. There isn't much point in pretending that there is much to look forward to in life when sadly there isn't.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,251
0
High Peak
My mother said during the last care home visit that she wanted to be dead, which upset my father. She has said it before. We brushed it off. However it is ruthlessly logical for a person with no quality of life to feel that 92 years is quite enough so although we encourage her to be more positive she is not irrational. There is no danger of self- harm as she would not be capable of it. I think noncommittal answers @Thethirdmrsc are the right approach. There isn't much point in pretending that there is much to look forward to in life when sadly there isn't.
I know what you mean. Getting old sucks.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,911
0
cornwall
Hi @sandlesf my OH has not had a UTI yet, but talks about suicide all the time, and mainly in the middle of the night, although he has mentioned to his son as well. He talks of wanting to die, ending it all, but not having the courage to do it. I don’t know what to say to him so I just give non committal answers.
Hi. I just wanted to pop in a moment. My dad used to talk of shooting himself with a gun. I contacted the GP who referred him to the mental health team. She prescribed Mirtazapine which helps settle the anxiety..They have a Duty of Care..Even now
 

sandlesf

New member
Jan 15, 2021
2
0
Hi Everyone.
Thank you all for your replies. I have a telephone consult with his Dr tomorrow so I will certainly ask about low dosage antibiotics . The other remedies that have been put forward are interesting and worth looking into. Although the idea of getting him to drink 2 pints in one hit would be near impossible to for him to do!
It's now day 4 of his antibiotics and although he's getting better, he is not 100% yet. It seems to take a little bit more of him away from me every time he has a UTI.
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
118,200
Messages
1,730,113
Members
69,062
Latest member
dpdurham