1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Bit of good news - well sort of...

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by Kate P, Jul 11, 2007.

  1. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    As anyone who has seen my previous postings will know we're having a bit of trouble getting mum diagnosed.

    However, we've had a break through in that the consultant we asked to see has agreed to come to the house this afternoon to see mum and is happy for us to be there to oversee things and provide information.

    Although it's what I've been wanting I feel utterly sick to my stomach with nerves, with the added anxiety of dad not telling mum she's coming until she gets there - heaven only knows how mum will respond to that.

    Still, we plough on - wish me luck!!
     
  2. JMW

    JMW Registered User

    Jun 14, 2007
    19
    Hi Kate,

    Yes that is good news at least you will know what you are dealing with. Strangely enough it will in the long run make you more able to cope with it. As for your mum not knowing it is probably best and that was the way we had to deal with things with my mum, left it til the last minute so she didn't have time to stress about it. Just know that my thoughts are with you and your family today.

    Best wishes,

    JMW
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,722
    Kent
    Dear Kate,

    Don`t be too nervous about the Consultant. If s/he is so co-operative to suggest a home visit, s/he will hopefully be sensitive to your mother`s anxieties.

    I do wish you luck. Don`t worry, you are on the right path.

    Love xx
     
  4. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Hello Kate,

    I was in a similar position with my Mum when the consultant agreed to visit her at home. I think you have done the right thing not telling her, I had to do that because my Mum kept cancelling visits as she is very obstinate and still believes that there is nothing wrong with her.

    She had two visits and I was nervous too, but they went very well. Although when the consultant had departed my Mum said "well I didn't think much of him!"

    No two cases are the same, but yours sounds so similar to mine, I hope it goes as well and I shall be thinking of you.

    Good luck.
     
  5. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    HI Kate,

    I'm so glad you have managed to get this appointment and I think your family are doing the right thing by not saying anything to your mum until much nearer the time.
    I hope all goes as well as possible.

    Love
    Jackie
     
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Kate

    Hope all goes well with the assessment. You'll feel so much better when you have a diagnosis and care plan set up.

    Let us know how it goes.
     
  7. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    it of good news - wel sort of ... update

    Hello everyone,

    Thanks for your messages of support yesterday - it helped me going in to feel much calmer and positive that this was the right thing to do.

    Thankfully, the new consultant was wonderful - we couldn't have asked for better (she was recommended to us at our local AZ support meeting). Her manner with my mum was just so lovely and mum really relaxed and actually said how much she liked her new doctor.

    The doctor has confirmed that it is dementia we are dealing with but she wants mum to have a brain scan before she says anymore - she's put that through as an urgent request as it looks like we're quite far in judging by how the assessment went.

    Even though I've suspected this and been mithering about it for a good two years, I was astonished at what mum can't do anymore - she struggled with a two command sequence and can't spell at all - her memory is also much worse than I realised. I felt a bit guilty at first but when I thought about it I realised that it would be weird for me to be issuing two stage commands to my mum - never mind insisting that she spells words for me! I think ti shcoked dad as well but hard as it was I think he needed to see it so he can finally accept it, you know?

    I thought I'd feel more at this stage but it's like I don't know what emotion to feel. I'm not exactly shocked because I'd accepted this long ago and I've already grieved to some extent but I also can't be happy that someone has finally taken us seriously and given us the diagnosis because the diagnosis is still so devestating and is ultimately leading down a path that you have no choice but to tread - does that make sense?

    Kate
    XXX
     
  8. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Kate, I'm not surprised you have mixed emotions. You wanted a diagnosis, you knew in your hert what the diagnosis would be -- but it'e still devastating when it's confirmed.

    It sounds as if you have a good consultant, and once you have had time to come to terms with things, and your mum has had her scan, you will be able to get a care plan set up. Don't be afraid to ask for the help you need -- no-one will offer!

    You've done really well to get this far. Just be kind to your mum, and try to relax. The wheels are in motion now.

    Keep us informed, we're here to support you.

    Love,
     

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